Why did my PT ghost me? Did I cross a line?

He may have thought “I can’t book anything just now but might come back to you in a few weeks” didn’t require a response?

Yes, exactly, it's just manners!

I don't think you're overreacting. I used to do PT and I think it's rude for him not to reply both times, especially as he offered with your CV.

He's probably frustrated to lose your income and might have got your message when he was busy, but he should have replied when he could.

I wouldn't feel bad seeing him though, just say hi and don't try to strike up a conversation unless he does. Lots of clients come and go I'm sure he won't think anything of it if/when he sees you

He’s running his own business and will have dozens of clients to respond to/keep up with. Some people are better than others at this, but I can tell you that as a one man band, it can be tough!

Try not to read too much into it or take it too personally.

I think the CV thing was like a polite thing people say, like, oh we must have you over for dinner soon. They don’t actually want to have you over for dinner, but are just being polite. But you took it really literally. Actually though, he just doesn’t have time.

If I was running a business, I definitely would have followed up your last message with a, thanks for letting me know. It’s been lovely working with you. Just let me know if you want to book in again.

But maybe he missed your message. Sometimes people send me things and I actually look at them quickly while kids are kicking off and then I forget I didn’t respond. Or maybe he had an emergency, has had to go into hospital, has a poorly parent, lost his day job and is struggling. There are lots of possible explanations.

It could explain it. It wouldn’t justify it, but it could explain it. I’ve seen people do stuff like this in situations where they supposedly are professional. Trades who just vanish with the job half done being the most obvious example that springs to mind.

I also would have expected a short reply or acknowledgment too. He’s not a very good salesman and is a bit unprofessional ignoring you. I wouldn’t overthink it too much though op leave him to it and find someone else.
Have you been forced to put a brave face on at work despite the bullying? I found this made me much less tolerant of others when they just decided they couldn’t be bothered to have basic manners.

I - as is often the way - am surprised by the responses on here. You have obviously seen quite a lot of him if you started having PT a few months ago so of course it's rude, and odd, of him not to reply. Even if he is quietly seething at the loss of income from you, why not reply politely and keep the door open for you to start using him again when finances allow.

The fact you’re thinking about this and are annoyed about it, shows how blurred the client/PT relationship had become.
I do agree that he could have sent some kind of follow-up communication, but he’s probably just busy focusing on his paying clients.

Are you being honest with yourself about how the feel for this PT? It sounds like a potential crush was developing. I think it’s a good thing he didn’t respond re your CV. It sounds like some distance is a good idea. He’s not your friend. Maybe some therapy would be a good idea after the awful time you’ve had in work.

I think it’s great to concentrate on getting fit and happy when you’ve had a rough time. But I think this overreaction to a pretty standard social interaction shows that you still have some work to do on yourself - could you afford some therapy? The mental is important as well as the physical, OP.

Maybe he’s dead? 😑

I would agree with others he's busy you said you couldn't afford more sessions he's not going to pester you to book hes tryjng to run a business..honestly it sounds like you had a bit of a crush and are feeling rejected. The CV thing I'd be bothered if I had paid a fee but I wouldn't really be upset at someone offering a favour for free not following it up

Doesn’t explain the ghosting though, as a professional person.

I would have expected a reply back from the PT both times. It's rude otherwise.

Don't get hung up on it, I'm sure it's not personal.

I was just about to write a similar post OP so thank you Berryslacks!

Re the CV, people often offer to help in the moment, but then when you actually followed through he may have regretted it and didn’t want to give the time to it, particularly as he thought you were going to take a break from the training. People are flaky sadly, even those that seem really lovely.

I’m very like you OP and rightly or wrongly would have felt just the same if it’s any consolation!

there isn’t really a call to action response needed from him. I think you’re overthinking it just text back if you want another session or nudge him about your CV.

I'm sorry but I didn't think you needed a reply?! I think he's waiting for you to reach out if you want to restart sessions? You could chase him about the potential job.

People are rude now. And it upsets me how people don’t reply. But he may very well pop up in a week with an interview opportunity. He might have read your message at 12 and night and not wanted to reply so late - so as not to be inappropriate - and then just forgotten.

the trouble with being so connected is that people are disconnected and don’t see how their actions impact others. We also expect immediate responses but what is important to us is completely irrelevant to them. He could have a sick mum or put his dog to sleep or anything and he hasn’t been on correspondence. But because there’s not a big pile of letters on his desk waiting for his return to deal with, all communication has just swept over him.

I hate it but I even do it.

also, what do you mean by he complimented your appearance? Like you say well I’m old and haggard now as a joke and he says nah you’re great looking to be polite or he was flirting?

I think he probably regretted the comment about offering to look at your CV and didn't really expect/want you to take him up on it. I also think that, like any small trader, he is probably overwhelmed with messages and has to be ruthless about what to reply to.

I had a plumber recently who failed to send me an invoice for weeks, even after I sent a message reminding him. He didn't reply to my message or acknowledge receipt of my bank transfer after the invoice was finally sent.

I was very slightly annoyed by the uncertainty that generated for me, but also I completely understood how busy he was -- and how hard many traders find it to keep on top of admin rather than just focussing on the skills that they bring to their role.

I agree completely, it takes seconds to reply & it’s common courtesy..
He asked afterall for OP to forward her cv , so everyone here saying no need to reply , stop being ridiculous..
You reply to acknowledge you received it ..

I agree the PT seems immature and should have kept better boundaries - offering to look at someone's CV is quite a "potential friend" thing to do. You've done nothing wrong OP.

He should have remained detached and polite. One of my best classes was with someone who was quite strict with bookings/money etc but super gentle and soft in class.

Exercise is so good for your mental health so don't drop it - OP just find some free classes on YouTube (yoga with Adrienne or Pilates with Lynn robinson) and follow a couch to 5k. Free and will carry you through life.

I would just think he’s busy with current clients…! He didn’t ghost you and I’m sure you could book a session.

This is a nonevent. I'm with the others who suggest therapy after bullying. You need to heal so you can put things in perspective.

OP I think you could really benefit from some therapy. Bullying can really destroy our self esteem and our boundaries. I suspect just a few sessions with a really skilled and experienced therapist would make a massive difference.