Child left in car in 35 degree heat

Ugh, the sense of superiority of some people on this thread 😥

It's terrifying to think that basically it could happen to any of us because we are humans and how our brains work.

All you who think nope, couldn't possibly happen to me... seriously, read the article in the 4th or so post.

I can see how it can happen. I've made the reverse mistake multiple times. I usually dropped dc off, but sometimes when I didn't and they were at home with dh, I found myself pulling in to the day care car park before I realised my mistake.

Seriously, you think people wanted to kill their children? Everyone knows the dangers of hot cars.

It's very easy to get out of a car and lock it with the remote while walking away, without ever looking at the back seat.

I don't condone it - obviously - but I can see how it could possibly happen, for reasons outlined on this thread. (I haven't read the Washington Post article as I heeded the warnings about it being distressing and I'm not in need of that just now...)

I don't believe he forgot. I think it's more likely he was scrimping on childcare and left the child in the car.

I don't believe any of these were cases where anyone forgot the child was there. When you lock the car the back seats are visible. Even the tiniest child will be visible. The mistake was thinking they would get away with it, not forgetting the child was there.

Other posters have already covered most of this ignorant post, but just to add - only someone with very limited knowledge of the world would believe "it's nearly always hot" in Spain. Spain is a large country with an extremely varied climate. I know Valls (where this sad incident happened) well. It has four distinct seasons - and yes, there are heat waves.

It does happen whether you want to believe it or not OP. As others have said, often when there’s a change to normal routine.

Re the car door slamming and waking the child - well that might have happened, but clearly the parent was walking away at this point so wouldn’t have heard the poor child cry. I know a dad in the US went to jail for murdering his child as they claimed he did it deliberately as he was having an affair, but I can’t believe any normal parent would leave a child to die in such a manner.

Nobody thinks it's acceptable, for goodness sake. It's heartbreaking and horrible.

What PP are saying is that people don't do it on purpose or because they don't care about their children.

The number of posts suggesting that this is an easy to make mistake is disturbing. It isn’t if you give the most basic iota of care for your children

This is the reason this will sadly keep happening. Posters like this.

Humans are arrogant. Some people lack the intelligence and emotional maturity to understand the psychology behind such mistakes. They will instead loudly proclaim it could never happen to them, they're just too caring/attentive/clever or whatever...and their children are even more at risk than most because of their massive blind spot.

Any one who thinks it couldn't happen to them is delusioned.

DH made it to the works carpark with one of ours. Like everyone else it was change of routine, I normally did drop-off, can't remember what I was doing, ill or dentist or something but DH clocked LO before he left the car.

It does make you wonder how often does it happen but the kids are OK, uncomfortable but OK. We only ever hear about the tragic cases that make the international news. But that must be the tip of the iceberg there must be loads more who get left and are remembered before tragedy strikes.

One thing the UK does do is have nurseries make contact if a child doesn't turn up maybe that should happen everywhere.

I've also laughed at an ex-neighbour doing a 3 point turn outside their old house, having moved a few weeks earlier. Obviously driven 'home' on autopilot.

I also know a 'new mum' who left the baby outside the butchers, baby is 50+ and survived.

People definitely go into autopilot doing the same thing every day.

Intelligent people, as you claim to be, are capable of nuance and opening their minds to new information. So here's the article everyone's talking about:

Fatal Distraction Forgetting a Child in the Backseat of a Car Is a Horrifying Mistake. Is It a Crime - Studocu

My DB was folded up (somehow) in the stroller & put into the boot. Thankfully DP's realised before they drove off. It was a long time ago & still comes up! They each thought the other had DB & were flustered as in an unfamiliar place.

People sometimes forget when there's a change in routine, or tired, or unwell etc. I used to put my hand bag in the back seat so I had to access the back seat to leave the car.

I momentarily forgot that I had a baby. He was a few week old and I was sitting on the bus with him in the pram space in front of me. I was on the same bus that I'd taken daily since the age of about 12 and I zoned-out watching a group of Italian school students board the bus and climb upstairs. I thought to myself "oh how lovely - what an adventure for them". Then I remember hearing this sound in the background and thinking "aww.. that sounds like a new baby" and then realising that it was my baby and I sprang to attention. Imagine if he didn't cry - would I have got off the bus at my usual stop without him? Its interesting how routine and autopilot can make you dissociate from your surroundings.

After having twins I took one to nursery and didn’t realise the other one was in his car seat sitting on the top step of my home. 15 or so minutes away. Didn’t realise till I got to nursery as the home alone twin always sat behind the drivers seat.
Rushed back and he was asleep on the top step.

My dh was left in his pram outside Woolworths and his mum had arrived home before she realised and that must have been a good hour round trip.

Sadly these things happen and I have enormous sympathy for the parents on this and all occasions when nothing malicious was intended.

This is a good point about modern cars, which also have made being on auto pilot even worse. Also usually you walk away using the alarm, not like before when you physically used to push the lock down or turn the key. The more things get automated, the less we actively engage our brains.

"not buying it"? Then what's your own explanation - that the man left his son in there to die on purpose? That seems more likely to you?

Modern cars also don't let you leave any windows open or the alarm goes off.

So a left behind child would not be heard crying by anyone passing.

I hate that I can't leave my windows open to air the car on a hot day. But I can't override it.

It's like when you drive home on auto pilot, suddenly you're home and you have no idea how you got there. This is why I have sympathy for these cases as I can totally understand how this could happen. Especially after knowing how exhausted you can be when you have a young baby, it's tiredness coupled with mundane routine.

Can anyone here honestly say they haven’t made this kind of “change of routine” mistake? I strongly expect we all have. We haven’t necessarily left a child in the car, but we’ve forgotten something important because things have changed and our automatic brain hasn’t updated.

My own is about my keys. My partner works from home and I don’t work at all, so I’m usually at home too. As a result, if I do go out I’m either with him and he has his keys, or he’s at home to let me in so I’m not in the habit of taking my keys out. However he does go out every Friday night, and I often have a hoopers class that night which my friend gives me a lift to. So one of two things often happens - I forget to take my key and I’m locked out on my return, or I do take it but have no memory of putting it in my bag so we arrive and I panic that I’m locked out until I remember I actually have it. On one occasion I sat on my doorstep with my little dog until my partner turned up to let me in, and it turned out I had my key all along, I just had no memory of picking it up so I never even thought to open my bag to look for it. I was absolutely convinced it was on the hall table because I definitely hadn’t picked it up because I very rarely have it with me - but I totally had.

Interesting that people are talking about how they wouldn’t leave a dog in a hot car.

I’m involved in dog showing as well as agility and hoopers, and there’s a common joke about accidentally leaving the dog at home and travelling to a show without them.

Like a lot of jokes, there’s some truth to it. I’ve stewarded at a breed show where someone’s informed me that they’ve accidentally left Fido at home, and I know several people who have set off and got partway there before realising they’ve let Rex out for an emergency wee just before setting off and forgot to put him back in the car.

Of course it’s nothing like children left in cars but it’s the same process. None of these dog people intended to miss the classes that they’d paid a lot of money to enter, none of them felt like it would be a good use of their free time to drive for hours at stupid o’clock to an agricultural field in the middle of nowhere and then immediately go home.

If you’re going to a dog show, the dog is the most important thing. How could you forget it? Why would you be so careless? Don’t you care? And yet it happens.

I’ve had several vets tell me that it happens sometimes when people book consecutive appointments for multiple pets, say for boosters. Owner gets the first pet ready, pops them in the car, and their brain ticks the “pet ready” box and they drive off without the second. Usually they only take one pet at once. Negligent? Nope. Just out of routine.

I expect all of the parents who’ve done this would have said exactly the same.

Read the article linked above, it clearly explains how it can happen.

Read the article, then.

if you’re intelligent, then you’ll understand. But you need to actually read it.

This happened to a family I know in the States. Their 4th child, about 8 months old. The whole family was in the car on the way back from a roadtrip. The baby fell asleep in the back. Each parent thought the other had brought the baby in while they were dealing with the other children / general "back from holiday" chaos and believed she was asleep in her cot upstairs. One parent commented to the other something like "it's so great she transfers so well from the car to the cot", referring to their belief that the other parent had put her in the cot. The other parent interpreted that to mean that that parent had done the transfer themselves, and agreed. By the time they realised (less than an hour IIRC, but in Texas summer heat), it was too late. Absolutely devastating.

And for those that say they wouldn’t do it. It wouldn’t happen to them.. I was driving to work one morning, got onto the interstate and a little voice peeped “aren’t we going to school today?”

Just read where I live in Texas there has been one today. A 9yo! So bloody awful. Have to admit I’m paranoid about it and when Dd was a baby I put a note in the dash. One of our new cars beeps when you turn it off and flashes a warning to check the back seat.

If you think it’s about not knowing that you don’t leave children in a hot car you’ve missed the point by a country mile.

It isn’t about knowing or not it’s about how the human brain works and the different types of memory interact with each other.