Child left in car in 35 degree heat

Nope. I'm not lying- why on earth would I? If ypur peripheral vision is so poor you can't see a baby in the back seat when you lock ypur car your vision is too poor to be driving.

I was brought up to check leaving every location that we had everything with us - a glance back quick check - I've been astounded DH and his parents leaving bags and other stuff in various locations over the years becuase they don't automatically do this.

My kids have learnt this from example and verbal checks like I did - why because in my family we know we can't rely on remembering everything and that we do autopilot a lot so we check a lot(SEN/ND).

I've always been hyper aware where my DC were - so was again surpsied when DH forgot about youngest a few time and tried to leave her downstairs alone asleep at night - his parents could be equally as vauge though caught as kids looked out for each other or DH or I did.

IL usually sensible people often leave door and windows unlocked till got burgled then had to get an alarm - prior to that they used to talk of time they went abroad for couple of weeks rsuhed to taxi and left door wide open - neigbour spotted it realised they were away and shut it - I can't belive they'd do such a thing - let alone tell it as a funny story for years.

So yes I can see a break in routine - over tired parents especially in US with long hours and short maternity leaves - autopilot kicking in. So yes little habit things like putting bag in back so you turn and phycailly check I could see helping.

It's not likely to happen to us - only because we're lucky enough that most of what we need is a walk/bus ride away!

People frothing about the fallibility of the human brain are FAR more likely to underestimate their own cognitive fallibilities. You don't have a special brain - yours likely won't work far outside of the norm.

Knowing the limits of your own cognitive abilities isn't an insult to your parenting. Refusing to accept the limits of the human brain is a solid sign of something else though, and it isn't complimentary.

I don't need to actually turn the key to lock my car, i walk away and it locks automatically. But just out of curiosity, went out to check if I would definitely see if a child was on back seat even if I had to physically lock the car. No. Very easy to miss unless you actually open the door to check the back seat, which is not something most people do 'just in case', when they believe their child is somewhere else.

What a bizarre take.

Actually, the people saying that it can't possibly be an accident are breeding complacency; read the WaPo article and you'll see about how safety devices to avoid this situation don't sell well precisely because arrogant fools believe their superior brains/parenting skills will keep them safe.

Far better to accept that it is a mistake the human mind can make, because then people are more likely to actively look for solutions. Simple things like keeping your bag in the back seat so you have to open a back door to get it can be highly effective.

I usually don't even look back at my car when I lock it - just point back and press the button as I walk away. And most new cars you don't even have to do that.

this is a horrible post OP - a parent this happens to is not going to have done it on purpose -its a tragic accident ! and 11 pages of blame is not helpful to anyone. you have no idea what was going on that day with that parent - stress or anything they were under ! maybe the child was asleep rear facing in the back and he was just on auto pilot and went to work as usual because he / she doesn't normally have child with them or whatever.

I think you're lying because it's very easy. The safest place for the baby is on the opposite side of the drivers seat, and if it's rear facing you definitely can't see it. And I have a small car, not an SUV

I couldn't get past the first paragraph 💔 that poor family 😢

Yep that's exactly what I'm saying. People think they would never do this, but obviously people do. Our nursery has an app and tells us when they've checked him in, so me and partner check this too

We are all different. With so many distractions running through my mind I have forgotten my phone, bag, watch, all essential to my day. I agree to keeping something in the back seat.

I don't believe it is possible to lock your car door and not notice there is a baby on the back seat. If your peripheral vision is that poor how do you even manage to drive?

All the parents on this thread who have admitted that they briedly forgotten children, or the opposite, thought they knew children were with them while they were somewhere else - they are then shit, neglectful parents who can't do the bare minimum?
Because they did the same - forgot their children. Without the tragic outcome, but if they had remembered later or weather would have been warmer..

If anyone hasn’t read that WaPo article linked to at the start, here’s an archive link, no registration required. It’s very much not easy reading, but explains in great detail how something like this can happen.
Article “Fatal Distraction”

Expressing an opinion on an anonymous forum is hardly putting the boot in. Reading a mixture of views and opinions on the topic is more likely to make someone in a similar situation think twice, check twice. Compared to reading a sea of unanimous opinions of 'accidents happen' that reassures and breeds complacency.

Can you not even see that this is a ‘there but for the grace of god…’ situation.
Your kids are young-you still have plenty of time to make mistakes. I doubt they will be tragic but they will happen.

Stupidity. I have 2 young children and never done, never even come close. Serves them right they need to live with on their conscience.

@Kubricklayer do you not think the parents of these poor children have enough to deal with, without other people putting the boot in? Most of us feel for the parents to.

God only knows how anyone gets on with their life after such an accident. How do you face family and friends?
A high percentage of parents end up divorcing after a child death in normal circumstances never mind in circumstances where a parent has forgotten about the child.

What would you like to see happen?

Him slamming the car door would have woken the child if he’d been asleep surely ?

Not at all, when my first baby was about a month old she didn't stir when a VC10 aircraft landed within 75 yards of us, turned and taxied to the terminal but when the little bell by the barrier rang to warn of the barrier lifting she woke up and howled!

You’re doing a whole lot of imagining and assuming there.

It’s fairly obvious to rational and reasonable posters that terrible accidents happen and that piling on the judgment and superiority is abhorrent.

The Mighty frequently end up finding out just how much of a drop it is from their self-made pedestals.

Ah ok, so we should all adopt the opinion of shrugging our shoulders and saying 'accidents happen'? Got it. And it's vile to hold the opinion that accidentally being neglectful to the point a child dies is inexcusable? Ah, ok.

@Needspaceforlego that's really good that they do that. Northern England. Mine are at school now so maybe the practise has changed. But I recall on a couple of days when DC was off sick and DH forgot/didn't get around telling nursery for a few hours, no one checked up. In that space of time, in different circumstances it could have been too late!

Totally different scenario.
Kevin should have been with the parents.

Children who are forgotten about should normally be at daycare, not with the parents, the parents think they are safely being looked after by other people.

I really want to know how many near misses are there every year when parents remember at the last minute or in colder climates finish work and get back to the car to find a cold, hungry child.
But reality is nobody is recording the near misses we only hear of the tragic cases that make the international news.

Where are you?
I'm Scotland and it's standard practice for nurseries to call and ask about a child if they don't turn up or you don't phone them.

Someone got uppity on MN the other when their nursery called they questioned was nursery checking up on them, was it normal.

Explaining how this happens isn’t excusing anything. Accidents happen - humans are not God (though you seem to think that you are).

People who have had this happen are in enough of a world of unimaginable hell and torment without vile God-like creatures pointing their fingers and claiming to be superior.