Child left in car in 35 degree heat

I remember the American chap. His car alarm kept going off and he kept switching it off from his office window. The baby had pulled out most of his hair 😰.

The article I read explained how it can happen a bit like a Swiss cheese where suddenly all the holes line up.

Must be great to be perfect. Tragically its something that has happened in the past, predominantly in the US & as pp said its usually down to a change in childcare. Absolute tragic but how about waiting for the circumstances before potentially making it more than the absolute tragedy it already is

We bought a new Toyota Corolla recently - if you’ve opened the back door at all, it reminds you to check the back seat when you’re leaving the car. It’s mildly annoying (we don’t have little kids or dogs now) but I’m glad it does it if it prevents one such tragedy.

Not necessarily - we used to let a baby finish a nap in the car (with an adult sat in with them and not on a hot day) and closing the door to let everyone else out didn't wake them if they were in a deep sleep.

And even so if you got out the drivers' side and the baby is in the back passenger side and perhaps there's a noisy road or factory nearby and he didn't have the thought in mind to check for a child then you might not hear anything especially if they didn't immediately scream - some children wake up more slowly.

I read that WaPo article years ago too and can absolutely believe that just occasionally people forget. We've all done stuff on autopilot, just usually with less serious consequences, surely? Walked into a room to pick X, seen Y and dealt with it instead and walked out of the room completely forgetting you went in there to do X.

It must be easier to do with the increased use of rear facing car seats.

You'd notice getting out more easily with forward facing but I can see how if you are out of routine/distracted it's easier to lock your car and not notice.

The point of the article is that it could happen to anybody. It's not necessarily something that happens to people who are mentally unwell or distracted for some reason. The brain goes into autopilot many many times throughout the day and this is normal and functional - if you remembered everything, you wouldn't be able to distinguish the important things. If you had to think about how to drive a car and walk constantly you would struggle to navigate.

Do you remember brushing your teeth this morning? (Or last night, if you are reading this in the morning.) Probably you know whether you did it or not but unless something out of the ordinary happened you probably can't remember the exact shape the toothpaste made on your toothbrush. It's such an ordinary activity that our brains don't record the exact details of it. And while you'd say well surely a child is important - it doesn't work like that. Routine activities are forgettable. Unusual instances are memorable.

Usually when a child is forgotten in a car it's something which disrupts the usual routine - the other parent usually drops off at childcare, and/or there is a road closure which directs the parent past nursery and by the time they rejoin the road they go into the autopilot mode for after drop off and don't register they haven't done it yet.

Italy now has a law requiring all parents driving children under 4 to use an electronic device which will alarm if the parent ('s phone) leaves the car while the device detects the weight of a child in the seat. You can buy the devices in any European country, but mostly people don't buy them because they assume it could not happen to them.

Sorry can't edit any more but true, trigger warning, the article is distressing.
But I will not say 'I would never!' after reading it.

A lack of empathy is a dangerous thing. There but for the grace of God go I.

www.theguardian.com/lifeandstyle/2012/jan/20/my-baby-died-in-hot-car

The people who think they're infallible are the ones most likely to make the mistake. It's the worriers and the checkers who will never do it.

I once very sleep deprived (3 kids under 5).took the kids and 2 dogs to the river. Had a good play and walk. Got home. 1 kid been sick. Another crying. Carried them in, got the dogs out the boot.and the 3rd kid. Got in the house.
Cleaned up sick. Stop crying child. Nappy changed 3rd child. Made lunch then thought were the fuck is the other dog.
He was still in the boot. Probably about 20 minutes later. Luckily it wasn't that hot and he was fine (he probably jumped back in again to grab his toy while I was distracted and then shut the boot on him). Made me feel awful though and still remember the panic 15 years on.

There's always some people who will say "I would never do that". I'm sure all the parents who have done it thought that too.

Echoing the advice to read that WaPo article with caution. It is one of the most upsetting things I've ever come across online.

I remember reading the America article a few years ago and it’s stuck with me. Absolutely horrifying.
i have had busy mornings with lots on my mind and can see how this happens. Unbelievably tragic. The poor child.

Its really not. As humans we manage a lot of our time on auto pilot. Mundane, routine tasks are done without too much brain power or thought. We are creatures of habit and routine. Something like the other parent taking the child to nursery when they usually drive straight to work is one of the most common reasons, especially if the child has fallen asleep.

After reading that article years ago I always made sure my handbag went next to DD's car seat and made DH do the same with his work bag as we dod the drop offs between us in our own cars. We were guaranteed to always check the back seat then.

None of those parents deliberately left their child in a car as hot as an oven. There but for the grace of God.

I would never do this to my dog never mind a child.

It happens, people are distracted and it’s usually when there’s a change in childcare routine.
Unfortunately, in hot climates a small child doesn’t stand a chance and would die within a short space of time and although not frequent where I live you do hear about cases every few years.
There is some sort of car technology designed to prevent this from happening, but it will be a long time before it’s standard.

How could you forgot your baby is in the car regardless of the weather
bonkers

We once managed to lock one of our DC in the car aged around 6 at a motorway service station - all a bit flustered from travelling, I had other DC bursting for the toilet so I rushed ahead with him, thinking I had communicated to DH to go to get food with other DC. Meanwhile he thought I had taken both DC with me, and managed to jump out of the car and lock it with one DC still in the back. We only realised after about 5 mins when I reunited with DH, and we initially thought he’d got lost inside the service station so we spent another 5mins shouting for him before the penny dropped. DC was very upset but thankfully nothing worse. Before that happened I would have believed you could accidentally leave a 6yo locked in a car, but it was alarmingly very simple to do so.

I agree. I read the article years ago and the descriptions have stuck with me

I think the US mother went on to be featured in The Guardian’s Experience column a few years ago, written by herself (or transcribed from an interview).

I still think about it from time to time and just can’t get my head around what someone’s mental state must be like to forget their child is in the back of their car…

In most cases, it happens when there’s been a change in the routine - i.e. mum normally takes baby to nursery, but she wasn’t feeling well, so dad took them instead. Dad was sleep-deprived, drove to his office on autopilot instead of dropping baby at nursery en route, and completely forgot baby was in the back.

It could happen to anyone - it’s really not wise to judge. It’s recommended to leave something you need - like your phone, keys, or your work smart card - in the back of the car next to the baby. That way, you have to go into the back and there’s no risk of forgetting that the baby is there.

I would advise extreme caution before reading that Washington Post article. I read it years ago and have never forgotten it. There are descriptions that will stay with you forever.