To dump dog in one of my husbands offices he works from

It's clear you care about the dog. But it sounds like Ex should step up and help out. After all its not like you are always going on holiday is it. If he helped out with dog sitting payments or agreed to take the dog for a week or so say twice a year.. It would be little effort for him, but huge difference to you. I think you need to say that to him... And get family to back you up too... so that he feels the public pressure.

I get that your dog is happy in your h's office.

However, you do not want h to take the dog home with him and then never give him back - because you love him and want him. And you also do not want h to have the dog over a weekend for example and leave him all day.

so i would really, really not take the dog to the office.

try to find some alternative care for your dog. I know that is exceptionally difficult.

Sometimes I wonder whether there's actually just six of us, but it seems like more because of the name changes...

If you think your ex will look after the dog properly, or find someone else to do it, then I'd absolutely do this.

Different kettle of fish, if you think doggo will end up neglected or distressed. If you love them though, I can't imagine you think this is very likely.

Honestly, I'd hate to have to run my life around a pet to that degree, you have my sympathies.

Gosh, there is a lot going on in your OP. Mainly, your ex is a bit of an arsehole.

That said, I think you need to separate the dog from the arsehole (as it were). You might not have wanted the dog and feel the people who really wanted it have now all buggered off. BUT you also say you love the dog and don't want it to leave. So I think you have to forget its origin story, for your own sanity.

(But if you want to drop it at the ex's office with a breezy, 'here's the lead and food for a week, see you next Monday!' I say go for it.)

And me..........almost! Ive been on MN since September 2004. Many different names since then though. <waves>

@Fatfoot Ive nothing useful to say re the dog situation but...... I wanted to say I totally know how you feel re "and this is why I dont often post on MN". Amen to that!

You've clearly stated the issue and yet...... People endlessly get everything muddled/upside down etc. And then you start to think...... oh dear maybe I should have just figured out that problem in my head! xxx

This. It isn't the dogs fault.

Yes…
tell him you’re going on holiday, he can either have the dog or else pay for something like Holidays4Dogs to look after the dog properly (not kennels again).

I've recently looked after friends' dog for more than a month while they had a long holiday. I have another dog coming for a fortnight in August. I used to own dogs but didn't like being tied, so now I look after other peoples' nice dogs and have the pleasure of doggy companionship for a few weeks without feeling totally tied down. Ask around your friends, neighbours, colleagues, fellow dog walkers, FB local pages: someone, somewhere, may be willing to have him for a while. I charge very little because I enjoy having a dog around so much — as long as I know I can give it back.

Go away with the dog? Take him to the seaside, pub lunches and lazy walks.

The kindest thing to the dog would be for your husband to pay the costs of a dog sitter whilst you go away so that the dog is cared for in its own home,

I think you should have said in your original post that your husband is quite involved with your dog.

I was in the same position, OP, so you have my sympathies.

As the OP, I said no to getting a dog in 2009 as we were both working full time and our DS was off to Uni. No, said Ex, I've got it sorted ... well, daily dog walking service at £50+ per week. Anxious, unsociable dog, months of dog training didn't help. I've had dogs all my life, never one like this. When Ex went to Afghanistan with the Army in 2010 it was just me and the dog - and my full time job. When Ex left in 2012 caught chasing after other women it was just me and the dog and my full time job. He couldn't take her as he was renting a room (and too lazy to sort divorce - and I wasn't doing it for him!

I made it clear to Ex, if I go away he has the dog, even if it meant he stayed at the ex-family home. And the deal-breaker, if he moved in with his girlfriend he took the dog. So he moved in with his girlfriend while I was away at Christmas in 2019, I didn't know that was the last time I'd be seeing the dog I'd cared for daily for 10 years ...

Covid. Divorce. House sale. Four days after the offer on the family home was accepted he took the dog to a rescue and left her there. Over 12 years old, in chronic pain. Didn't tell me. I asked DS one day how the dog was and he told me. Ex wouldn't tell me where he'd dumped her. Took me three months of evenings on Facebook and calling around until I found her. She'd been rehomed, they'd spent hundreds on meds for her. Breaks my heart still.

No answers for you OP, just that I know your pain.

Instead of dumping. Visit your DH offices and tell him that he needs to start paying maintenance for the dog.
Make a list of the dogs needs and expenses ince he left the dog with you.
Vets etc..
Include two kennel breaks/dog sitters a year and cost it up.

Tell him he has imposed this financial burden on you and you can no longer afford to keep paying it.
He sounds minted and publicity conscious.

But do what's in the Dogs best interests which is probably staying with you, yet you having the chance of a break.

Poor dog so bloody cruel YABVVVVVU

I highly recommend having a Trusted Housesitter living in your house while you go away. You can relax then.

I miss my beloved dog terribly, the rats moved into my garden about a month after he died aged 14. I've had dogs for 40 years and had never seen a rat before.

Theres a group called trustedhousesitters where people will stay in your home and look after your pets in exchange for free accommodation. I'd look at that.

Dumping the dog on your ex will only work once and you need a more permanent solution.

How does he 'see' the dog once a week but doesn't walk him? If its at your home I'd put a stop to that. he needs to take the dog out to see him. I'd also ask for a financial contribution to his keep - if you have a family chat "accidentally" put a message on that suggesting that its about time he starts doing that.

There are other ways of having a holiday without the dog, including kennels, people who have your dog in their home, or even people who will pet sit in your home.