To think that proposing to a man kills attraction, even in “modern” couples?

This has got to be a joke.

What century are we in again? 🤨

This! Any man who would be put off by a woman proposing or having sex on the first date is not a man I’d want to marry. (Not proposing on the first date, I should make that clear, that would definitely be time to run for the hills!).

DH proposed to me, but I’d already decided I wanted to marry him and would have proposed if he hadn’t, he just beat me to it. And I actually slept with him before the first date, we hooked up after a party. We had known each other for a long time as friends first and I’d had a huge crush on him for ages. I did the chasing, very unsubtly, in the months before the party. I’ve had a few negative comments when I’ve told this story, but I don’t care. I got what I wanted, I might have missed out if I hadn’t chased him. We’ve been happily married for over twenty years.

The oddest thing is when a woman asks her partner to propose to her. It makes no sense. You're asking him to ask you a question, FFS! To all intents and purposes, YOU have proposed to him!

Yea generally no good comes of chasing men

Same here.

Over 25 years.

It must be something to do with choosing men who are adults rather than delicate like snowflakes who need to "lead".

"most men still want to be the ones to lead when it comes to commitment?"

Who's marrying these neanderthals and why?

I rolled my eyes so hard I saw my brain!

A big decision like marriage is surely best discussed and decided upon as equals rather than being something one person is expected to essentially surprise the other with.

This sounds familiar. So it kills the attraction.. like split costs split energy? Any second now "provider energy" will join the chat.

Gawd what a load of toss. ‘Natural order’ indeed. Happiness comes from loving and being loved honestly. Of course if you focus on who’s job it is to propose or whether you are having sex ‘too soon’ it’s quite hard to work out what you actually want and to be open about it.

Hahaha

Good joke

However if you are being serious, any man thinking his penis will shrink if a woman proposes is not really worth proposing to....

I hate the term ‘emasculating’, weirdly enough I’ve only ever heard it from women that viewed me as too outspoken and opinionated and never from men themselves but my response has always been along the lines of who cares.

I don’t want anything to do with a man who cares about his ‘masculinity’ in the slightest.

My sister in law proposed marriage to my brother by telling him, while out on a walk, after they’d been dating and living together for about five years. I think the gist of it was, “I’d like to spend the rest of my life with you and have a family - so I’d like to get married to you within the next two years”.

My brother then made plans, bought and ring and did a romantic down on one knee proposal a few months later, and then their wedding was the following summer. I don’t think this is unromantic or demasculating!

It was nice that he knew she was sure of him, and thus confident to make plans.

I didn't get down on one knee but I hate all that shit. He was about to propose anyway it turns out.

I've had three proper relationships and in each one I asked the guy out! Worked for me 😬

I proposed to my husband and he was delighted. We are still happily together 23 years later. He is a fairly manly man but doesn't seem bothered by silly things like me being stronger than him (which I am right now) or earning more (which I did early on in our relationship but not anymore). I wouldn't be attracted someone who got emasculated over stuff like that.

Our engagement was mutual. I asked H if he fancied getting married when we were in Wetherspoons. He said yeah, why not. And we went to the cash converters next door to buy me a ring for 15 quid.

Sooooo romantic 🤣

Apparently relationships are more likely to be successful long term if the woman asks the man out first…

Personally, I think the opposite and that a lot of men would actually be absolutely flattered by it and would love the fact that their partner is actively trying to pin them down. If you’re a well balanced man who loves his partner, I can’t imagine how it would make them feel anything less than loved and wanted! I’m quite an introvert in real life but I’d do it if I found the right person and wanted to make an honest man of them!

It's been traditional for centuries that women propose on February 29th

How did that turn out?

Yanbu.
I wanted to be wooed, asked out and proposed to. I wanted the romance and I got it
The one time I asked a guy out who had been flirting with me so much , I felt so insecure after and he went a bit flaky.
I do think there is a natural order of things in the dating world.
As for proposing, yes the couple generally these days will have talked about getting married but I don't know anyone where the woman proposed.
It is lovely to hear of stories where it's worked out but I think it's still rare.