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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU we leave on holiday tomorrow morning and …

331 replies

Sundaybananas · 01/07/2025 19:43

We leave on holiday tomorrow morning, and I’m the only one packed. DH and two older teens have done nothing. They barely seem to have registered that we are going tomorrow.

AIBU to just leave them to it, and if that means they have nothing but what they are standing up in then maybe they will learn for next time?

(so as not to drip feed, it’s a U.K. self catering holiday but we have to leave at 8am tomorrow, and the location is remote. There will be a small supermarket but no clothes shops.)

OP posts:
Lucynow · 03/07/2025 15:02

BlueFlowers5 · 02/07/2025 22:54

My DM used to have a holiday suitcase packed already at all times.

One year she couldn’t be arsed to unpack post holiday and that was the start of having “a holiday suitcase packed already at all times”!!

Doitrightnow · 03/07/2025 10:02

BlueFlowers5 · 02/07/2025 22:54

My DM used to have a holiday suitcase packed already at all times.

I don't know how this is possible! I pack totally different things depending on where I'm going and how long for!

Cherrytree86 · 03/07/2025 09:56

MyDeftDuck · 03/07/2025 08:36

He’s not my DH……second relationship……..ex wife very domineering and controlling who basically lived his life for him. In my pp I was merely demonstrating how he packs a case…….it’s no drama here and we certainly don’t fall out over it. He piles in all what he wants to take on holiday and I arrange it……….sorted!

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@MyDeftDuck

I’m not sure you can blame his ex wife for his incompetence. And he’s not with her now is he.

Most of us women don’t get taught this stuff, we just figure it out cos we have to.

maybe next time just leave him to it? I’m sure he can manage now, and I’m sure you’ve got lots of other things that you could be getting on with!

ricketybeauty · 03/07/2025 09:42

I'm team @Fitasafiddle1 here. Except last calls to family.

And you absolutely need to clean the car before it goes on it's own holiday to the airport car park. How would you like to be on holiday, all dirty and needing a hoover?

BitOutOfPractice · 03/07/2025 09:16

Wadadli · 03/07/2025 05:55

What about them? Of COURSE I travel with these things. I use the 50g free gifts from Clarins (other skincare companies are available) since if I travelled without serum & moisturiser I’d look like an alligator! 🤣

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Phew! I thought when you said you only had your handbag that you’d omitted them. Oh I absolutely love a sample size for the plane. I can see you and I are cut from the same packing cloth!

VickyEadieofThigh · 03/07/2025 08:53

Codlingmoths · 03/07/2025 04:25

There is no way on gods green earth that I would ever pack for my husband unless he was too unwell. I would go on holiday without him, or leave him at the hotel if he didn’t have suitable gear, but not pack for him.

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I never packed for my exH in the 13 years we were together (it never occurred to either of us that I would) and my (female) partner and I individually assemble our clothes, etc and then pack together, each putting half into the two suitcases (in case one goes missing).

MyDeftDuck · 03/07/2025 08:36

Cherrytree86 · 03/07/2025 08:28

@MyDeftDuck

your husband doesn’t sound very bright.

or is it more a case of if he does a shit job, he knows you’ll do it for him?

Urgh, men

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He’s not my DH……second relationship……..ex wife very domineering and controlling who basically lived his life for him. In my pp I was merely demonstrating how he packs a case…….it’s no drama here and we certainly don’t fall out over it. He piles in all what he wants to take on holiday and I arrange it……….sorted!

Cherrytree86 · 03/07/2025 08:28

MyDeftDuck · 02/07/2025 20:42

If you were married my OH you’d be REPACKING his case! He piles everything up in the middle of his case, shoes not in bags so the grubby soles make contact with clean clothes, shirts not folded correctly…….I could go on but I would be here all night 🤣.
it is so much easier to do it myself from the outset.

@MyDeftDuck

your husband doesn’t sound very bright.

or is it more a case of if he does a shit job, he knows you’ll do it for him?

Urgh, men

Bjorkdidit · 03/07/2025 08:02

Itchytoe · 03/07/2025 06:34

It’s not out of realms of possibility that the OP has arbitrarily told her family “we have to leave at 8am” because that is when she damn well wanted to leave

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Perhaps she wanted to catch the ferry that they had a booking for and could well have lost money and/or a day or more of their holiday if they didn't?

Ewock · 03/07/2025 07:39

Itchytoe · 03/07/2025 06:01

You sound generally quite uptight
so we have to leave at 8am - myself and other posters just assumed it was an arbitrary time set by a pissed off op

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Why would it be an arbitrary time? Do you not specify a time to leave when going on holiday? I find that very strange

Worriednanof1 · 03/07/2025 07:34

Itchytoe · 03/07/2025 07:30

“Attack and be nasty”

heavens. Where?

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Do you holiday alone? I can't imagine anyone wanting to go with you.

Itchytoe · 03/07/2025 07:30

AnnoyedAsAllHeck · 03/07/2025 06:38

You are responding to a frother. Someone who looks for reasons to attack and be nasty. It's their favorite thing to do, and I swear, they read these threads, frothing at the mouth to find something, anything, to attack.

I want to ready for vacation as you do. Instead, I come home and groan at all the crap that now needs to be done. I also have a day where I "remember" all the things I have forgotten up to this point that still need to be done. 😊

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“Attack and be nasty”

heavens. Where?

CavalierApproach · 03/07/2025 07:19

Itchytoe · 03/07/2025 06:01

You sound generally quite uptight
so we have to leave at 8am - myself and other posters just assumed it was an arbitrary time set by a pissed off op

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wow, so unnecessarily twattish

AnnoyedAsAllHeck · 03/07/2025 06:45

Itchytoe · 03/07/2025 06:34

It’s not out of realms of possibility that the OP has arbitrarily told her family “we have to leave at 8am” because that is when she damn well wanted to leave

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And it's not out of the realm of possibility that the cow really did jump over the moon, but since I have ZERO evidence to support that claim, it has not happened.

I took the OP at her word. Do you always argue with everyone about everything, or just on Mumsnet?

Maybe you are just looking for the above? HHhhmmmmm.......

Right Here Please GIF by RIOT MUSIC
AnnoyedAsAllHeck · 03/07/2025 06:38

Fitasafiddle1 · 03/07/2025 06:09

I am going to guess I do work but didn’t when my dc were young, thanks.

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You are responding to a frother. Someone who looks for reasons to attack and be nasty. It's their favorite thing to do, and I swear, they read these threads, frothing at the mouth to find something, anything, to attack.

I want to ready for vacation as you do. Instead, I come home and groan at all the crap that now needs to be done. I also have a day where I "remember" all the things I have forgotten up to this point that still need to be done. 😊

Itchytoe · 03/07/2025 06:34

AnnoyedAsAllHeck · 03/07/2025 06:32

This poster figured that they HAD to leave at 8 a.m. to make sure they would be on time for however they travelled. But then, I don't read into stuff trying to find something to nitpick over. Maybe more posters should try that approach.

Show quote history

It’s not out of realms of possibility that the OP has arbitrarily told her family “we have to leave at 8am” because that is when she damn well wanted to leave

AnnoyedAsAllHeck · 03/07/2025 06:32

Itchytoe · 03/07/2025 06:01

You sound generally quite uptight
so we have to leave at 8am - myself and other posters just assumed it was an arbitrary time set by a pissed off op

Show quote history

This poster figured that they HAD to leave at 8 a.m. to make sure they would be on time for however they travelled. But then, I don't read into stuff trying to find something to nitpick over. Maybe more posters should try that approach.

Itchytoe · 03/07/2025 06:20

Fitasafiddle1 · 03/07/2025 06:18

You are being a bit weird, yes. I expect everyone to help, even when the dc were young they were helpful. Particularly as they were excited to prepare for a holiday.

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😆

Itchytoe · 03/07/2025 06:20

JMSA · 03/07/2025 06:14

I have teenage girls. One would definitely be similar to yours. She works better under pressure, apparently 🙄 Often she will end up wearing the same thing several times …
Your holiday isn’t our cup of tea though, so the motivation wouldn’t be there from the start.

This!

I am very organised and an early packer, because I’m so bloomin excited!

I think knowing I had an early ferry to a UK destination when the weather forecast from Saturday is grey and max 20ish, oh and I was going with a partner who seems fundamentally very pissed off with me - I’d probably wait for the last minute!

Fitasafiddle1 · 03/07/2025 06:18

Itchytoe · 03/07/2025 06:17

Heavens…. Asking if you do all that yourself means I am “so interested”?! 💐

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You are being a bit weird, yes. I expect everyone to help, even when the dc were young they were helpful. Particularly as they were excited to prepare for a holiday.

Itchytoe · 03/07/2025 06:17

Fitasafiddle1 · 03/07/2025 06:16

We have older dc and we all pitch in, prior to a holiday, so sweet that you are so interested 😊

Heavens…. Asking if you do all that yourself means I am “so interested”?! 💐

Fitasafiddle1 · 03/07/2025 06:16

We have older dc and we all pitch in, prior to a holiday, so sweet that you are so interested 😊

JMSA · 03/07/2025 06:14

I have teenage girls. One would definitely be similar to yours. She works better under pressure, apparently 🙄 Often she will end up wearing the same thing several times …
Your holiday isn’t our cup of tea though, so the motivation wouldn’t be there from the start.

Itchytoe · 03/07/2025 06:13

Fitasafiddle1 · 02/07/2025 04:19

Really? I think about my preparation and wonder how we are so different

Spring clean house ready to return
Clean fridge and cupboards
Pet delivery
book shopping
salon visit for hair
Salon visit for wax, pedicure and manicure
Wash and iron everything
Security lights etc
house checks
water plants
buy new clothes if needed
match with jewellery
cosmetics bought
trips, activities and restaurants booked
last calls to family
book food shopping for return
Double check schedule and hotels
passsport check and paperwork
car refuelled, washed and cleaned and ready
Meals planned for travelling days
snacks and water for journey
washing completed

How can this be done in a few hours?!

Edited
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Does your partner do any of this? Or just you?

Itchytoe · 03/07/2025 06:11

Fitasafiddle1 · 03/07/2025 06:09

I am going to guess I do work but didn’t when my dc were young, thanks.

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Ah

and there we have it.

So how did you manage to do all of that cleaning and preparation whilst enjoying every precious moment with your child?