Is this a generational thing or is it just my friendship circle [Content warning: mentions of suicide]

I am 43. I've lost a friend to suicide in recent years and also a friend of a friend around the same time and same age. It's really heartbreaking. Hugs.

I think you posted about this a few months ago? I’m sorry things are even worse now.

do you think all traveller communities have this terrible issue or are your friends disproportionately affected?

It’s not normal and it must be taking a terrible toll on you. Is there a way you can reach out for support or try to break away from the group or lifestyle that are mainly involved, for self preservation purposes? I think there is evidence that people who know someone who’s died by suicide are more likely to kill themselves so that may be partly what’s happened with your friends.

You can’t save them but can you help yourself/your kids if you have them be out of that type of situation?

Very abnormal from my perspective - it seems likely it’s connected to the prevalence of addiction issues in your friendship group.

I only know one person who has died by suicide - the father of a girl my dd was at primary school with. He was in a high-flying professional career, but I always got the sense that he hadn’t quite reached the level of success he wanted. He clearly took some sort of risk which backfired and got him into serious trouble. He was called into an HR meeting and lost his job, but I guess he couldn’t face the shame of his family/friends/colleagues finding out, so he jumped in front of a train instead of going home.

I didn’t know him well - our daughters had been at different secondary schools for several years by this point - but it was a massive shock nonetheless (particularly because I was caught up in the resulting train disruption, and finding out afterwards that it was someone I knew was horrible). I can’t imagine losing so many close friends in this manner, OP - I hope you’re getting help with this from your GP/a therapist etc.

This is definitely not normal. You’ll have been traumatised by this number of deaths. If some of the deaths are caused by illegal drugs, then as someone else has said - kindly - if that’s the type of group you are friends with, then you will see more drama, death and tragedy than most. Sorry for your loss.

This is horrific 💔I have lost more than average numbers of people in my life including 2 friends in the past 2 years, one of which was also suicide. But I really think this is too much to deal with alone. Please could you look for some counselling or support for yourself? Even losing one friend is a massive deal. I really feel for you. I have found listening to NDE (near death experience) podcasts surprisingly helpful and comforting. Sending you a big hug.

I'm sorry to suggest this, but please change your friend group. This is very unhealthy to be around, drugs, OD's, deaths at this level.

You are a similar age to DD. She had one friend commit suicide about 10 years ago, completely out of the blue, and another who keeps threatening to. I had a room mate back in the 70s who threatened but didn't carry it out and DH had 1 colleague, kill himself about 30 years ago, in his 40s. His sister was fuming with him for the grief he put his parents through. I think a big difference is drug use is more prevalent in the younger generations. As a teenager, we saw a bit of weed at some parties, but that was about it, and the people using it were slight oddballs. I didn't go to Uni, so there may have been more there, but you certainly didn't smell it every day of the week when just walking through town.

We tend to say ‘died by suicide’ nowadays. I think it used to be illegal hence the outdated term
‘comitted’.

Very sadly clusters can be a bit of a ‘thing’, as Lamelie says. Someone experienced in mental health care might be along to explain why. But no, not normal.

That’s sad OP, but not typical I would say
I’m mid 30s dh is 40 and we don’t have any friends as adults who committed suicide
I know of one man who I was friends with at school who committed suicide in early 20thag was tragic

No, I don't think that's usual.

None of my friends have commited suicide or taken an overdose.

I've known one person who committed suicide, a work colleague. I had a distant cousin who died from an accidental overdose.

Gosh that’s awful. I’m so sorry.

I don’t know anybody who has taken their life.

I don't think that many (so sorry) is normal but I do think suicide is becoming more prevelant for the older millennials, there were 4 suicides from my year at school notified on FB last year and 3 this year already.
There's a hopelessness since covid, it went to shit and life has not improved much and doesn't look likely to for generations if at all.

That's rough. Sorry you're going through this.

I think it's fair to say a number people in my extended circle have lived at the extremes (drugs, alcohol) and there have been early deaths - suicide and otherwise. It shouldn't be normal.

Yep that was my reaction too.

no, @Andoutcomethewolves that's not 'normal' (thankfully)

im 55 & 'only' know 1 person IRL that died by suicide (it was tragic, DC 11 yo friend) many many years ago.

Sadly a few MNers partners/kids ❤️‍🩹

Please find a therapist to help you cope with this extreme loss of lives x

OP I’m like you but Im 50 and from the age of 18 I’ve lost lots of very close friends over the years a variety of ways car accidents, sports accident, hospital negligence x 2 overdose and a few to cancer.

I feel like I’m the unusual one so I think you’ve just been unlucky.

12 suicides in 18 months is a massive amount OP.

I'm so sorry

Thankfully no, not for my friends and acquaintances. I'm early 40s and only know one person who's died by suicide. Four people I know of around my age have died in the past 10 years, two from bowel cancer, one from alcoholism/Covid, and one, most likely, from doing too many drugs for too long.

Did the people all know each other? It can be something of a copycat thing, sadly.