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Original poster

Divorcing a cocklodger

78 replies

Abouttobescrewedover · 01/07/2025 08:26

I have put almost £750k of savings/inheritance into our relationship in order to support STBXH business.

I’ve paid off the mortgage on our joint property, and own a smaller rental myself.

With the exception of the properties, I have nothing left. Not a penny once the solicitors have been paid.

STBXH earns about £8k a year. He refuses to give up on the business as it means he can do what he wants, when he wants.

I work part time as well as being the main carer to two young children (plus DSC when here) and the person doing all the housework, etc.

We’re in the early stages of divorce, completing our Form E. My solicitor said his needs will be assessed and that he needs somewhere to live.

AIBU to think this is unfair given he’s choosing to pursue a business that’s making no money?

Has anyone experienced anything like this before?

I have loads of evidence whereby I’ve begged him to get a job!

OP posts:
Shouldbedoing · 01/07/2025 08:41

He will have to be housed but that will be worth it to be rid of him. At least he doesn't pretend to be the main carer of the DC. You do need the most shrewd solicitor you can find. One with an understanding of Business and inheritance.

Hoardasurass · 01/07/2025 08:40

Could you offer him the small rental property to live in and you and the kids keep the main house?

olderbutwiser · 01/07/2025 08:37

Well done for getting rid.

Unfortunately, this is what the deal is with marriage. You were sucked in to supporting him in his madness and tolerated his cocklodger ways for a while, and you have children to support. The needs of the children come first, but if there’s enough equity then both partners in the marriage get their housing needs met.

Just look forwards - in the future he can piss his own money up the wall while you are building a stable future for yourself and your children safe from his selfishness. It will be fabulous and well worth the short term pain of getting out of the marriage.