Was my husband unreasonable or was I

Hot teaspoon on the bites takes the itch out of them. Your husband should have helped you.

I'm like you too with the bites and the disabilities that render you needing help sometimes. I'd be cross if my DH did that and I'd remind him my condition isn't curable by giving it a better try ... that attitude makes me really cross, a bit like it's just laziness when actually it's painful to move in certain ways, at best I'd have tried to roll off sideways and gone onto all fours, but that's a bit embarrassing if there's someone there to help
Re the bugs, I use jungle spray but TBH I've woken with more bites this morning anyway (we get gnats lurking) so I'm looking like I've got the bloody pox again

Surely this didnt go on for more than 30-60 seconds? We would have a quick laugh about someone stuck in a bean bag in my house. Unless it went on for a very long time it wont have made a huge difference to the bites.

I am having a hard time understanding how someone who can actually get themselves up can get stuck in a bean bag even if it collapses. What do you mean by being a bit weak? Surely you just roll over and get on your hands and knees if the angle is wrong for getting straight up? But maybe I have the wrong picture in my head. Your DH could have been more helpful and done what you asked immediately, but I wonder if he was similarly was of the opinion you keep calling for help when you could do more for yourself and was trying to make that point? It’s not as though he didn’t help at all, it just ended up being later than you would have liked.

I think the truth of how unreasonable either you were is lost in the detail of how much you’re relying on him when you could be doing more to help yourself. Constantly being asked to things for someone that you think they should be capable of themselves is wearing. But being left hanging by your partner when you really do need help is upsetting.

I’ve always taken two/three of my usual one a day loratadine antihistamine if they are swelling badly. It works.

A doctor would prescribe stronger medication if necessary. All anti itch creams that you buy abroad are also much stronger than you can buy in the UK. Maybe google brands and buy some online?

Jesus, these comments!?

Your husband was being a prick to not help you immediately when you asked.

Where do you live where there are swarms of bugs!

I think you need to work on your independence - what would you have done if he wasn't around. Either don't sit in a chair you can't get up from our position it next to something you can use to help you up.

You're not being unreasonable. Regardless of whether you should have anticipated the bugs, you were unable to get up and any reasonable human being would have helped you up.

You know you're sensitive to bites yet you still sat in a chair you couldn't get out of and were uncovered I'm assuming. If you have these issues you should take precautions. It isn't your husband's job to babysit you.

Play stupid games....

I react really badly to anything that bites - bites get huge and turn into multi headed blisters. I've got a 50mg Prednisone script to take if needed. I try not to take that very often - it's a last resort

Prior to that, as soon as possible I take antihistamines. A chemist told me Fexofenadine eg Telfast is good for bites and I've had good success with it. I just get the generic 180mg version.

Absolutely ridiculous responses from people saying you should take care of yourself. If you were stuck, you were stuck. What were you supposed to do, stay there indefinitely?!

It doesn't sound like he took long to help you out though? You called him over, he made his jokey comment, he helped you out. Unless he left you for ages it sounds like he's not really responsible for all those bites.

They do sound painful though you poor thing.

Why were you doing lounging about in the garden if you react that badly? At the first sign of a biting insect I’m indoors. I don’t wait until I’m being assailed by a cloud of them then flounder around waiting to be rescued. YABU to be annoyed at your DH because of your own lack of foresight.

Tbf you had probably already been bitten before you called him over but if you were struggling to get up due to health conditions and asked for help it was mean of him to tease you.

Another poster here who thinks you should be taking care of yourself, as should all adults.

Is your husband your carer?

When was the last time you took him out for a pint to say thank you? Genuinely curious.

Yes sorry I am with PPs. You are responsible for yourself. Maybe he’s a little tired of caring all the time and didn’t mean to be unsympathetic or helpful. Why are you sitting outside and why aren’t you taking antihistamines??

Try virasooth gel. It's for chicken pox but does wonders on my bug bites.

Does he often have to take care of you like a child? Yabu really

You’re over reacting a bit to him and projecting your anger at yourself onto him I reckon. You’re responsible for sitting outside in a chair you knew you’d struggle to get out of at a time of day which you were likely to get bitten. This is on you.

Is your husband actually your carer? Even so I’m wondering why you would sit on a beanbag if you have muscle weakness? What would you do if your husband wasn’t around? I’m pretty overweight but can generally get myself to my hands and knees to get up off the floor.

However your husband doesn’t sound very sympathetic but I think on the face of it YABU.

YABU
you are responsible for yourself

If you are sensitive to bites, as I am, why would you sit outside when there are bugs? Especially if you know you are weak and cannot get up easily ? What if your husband wasnt around?
Avoidance is best for bites.
If you are very sensitive then get a steroid cream and I use the mossie heat gadgets to stop the itching

bites -

take a systemic antihistamine (usually a tablet).
you can buy anti histamine cream from the chemist and also a painkilling cream (I use lanacaone)

if you put the creams on and alternate them, with a dressing to keep the cream in contact with the skin it makes a massive difference.