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AIBU?

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Am I over reacting or is this a crazy idea?

40 replies

ANiceCupOfTea1 · 01/07/2025 01:20

Right I need an outside opinion on this because I’m now at the stage where I genuinely can’t tell if I’m over reacting or not!

So for context- partner agreed to do a 10k with his mates. It was agreed about a year ago and he intended to train for it but didn’t. It was very much a ‘I’ll start tomorrow’ but tomorrow never came. I assumed he was no longer doing it and would do some training and try it again perhaps in 6 months or whenever the next one is but he’s still intending on doing it. Despite having 0 training whatsoever.

His logic is it’s only 10k and it’s a very entry level run, i.e. it’s not a marathon. He thinks he’ll be absolutely fine.

My concerns are that he has absolutely 0 stamina whatsoever (he would say that himself, I’m not being unkind by saying that, I also have 0 stamina for the record!) and plays no sports and I’m concerned that running a 10k on cold turkey could be risky. He is a healthy weight but very much has a fast metabolism. He’s not sporty whatsoever so this run would be something completely out of the ordinary for him. He is also asthmatic and has irregular heart issues, or something along those lines, although his health is under control now.

Obviously he's an adult and it's his choice, but am I being dramatic by being concerned about this? Or is he correct that 10k is doable (albeit sore the next day, but still doable) on no training whatsoever and unlikely to cause any serious harm to his health? I know there's the option just to walk it but he is incredibly competitive when in the moment and I know he will absolutely power through and run the entire way to keep up with his friends (who are serious runners and do this regularly) so I know he will quite literally run until he drops just to keep up with them.

but I am absolutely not a runner and have very little knowledge about any of that. Can someone who knows more about it please let me know, is it likely he’ll be fine (apart from a bit sore and stiff the next day) or am I correct in being concerned for his health?

OP posts:
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FeelinTwentySixPointTwo · 01/07/2025 22:46

I have well controlled asthma and can't manage more than about 10 minutes on the cross trainer or rowing machine at the gym
I think you need to see your GP - I have fairly well controlled asthma and run marathons. Lots of people with asthma do.

OP, your husband will be fine, if a bit creaky the following day. But he needs to go easy on the caffeine unless he wants a gut explosion halfway around the course.

Dramatic · 01/07/2025 22:12

I have well controlled asthma and can't manage more than about 10 minutes on the cross trainer or rowing machine at the gym so I do think he's being a bit daft, but you can't stop him.

YourWinter · 01/07/2025 22:09

He’ll run at first then soon drop back to a walk, and maybe jog or sprint a bit here and there. As will dozens of others. A 10k run doesn’t mean you have to run all the way, unless you’ve trained and are seriously going for a personal best, a certain target or whatever. He’ll be fine.

He should invest in good running socks as well as decent shoes, preferably fitted at a specialist store with gait analysis. And learn the importance of stretches both before and afterwards. Hope he enjoys it!

Toooldtopretend · 01/07/2025 22:08

ANiceCupOfTea1 · 01/07/2025 21:54

Yeah I did tell him that but he’s convinced it will help his performance 🤦‍♀️

He can’t be that concerned about his performance or he’d have put some effort into training. Typical Billy Big Balls!

RunningJo · 01/07/2025 21:59

ANiceCupOfTea1 · 01/07/2025 21:54

Yeah I did tell him that but he’s convinced it will help his performance 🤦‍♀️

… more likely to help his need to go for a 💩
🤣🤣

ProfessionalWhimsicalSkidaddler · 01/07/2025 21:59

ANiceCupOfTea1 · 01/07/2025 11:14

Thanks for the perspective!

just to clarify, I was never going to stop him- I can’t, he’s an adult and it’s up to him. I was just asking if I was over reacting by being worried about it

it’s actually a huge relief that I am being dramatic and that 10k isn’t a big deal on no training. Like I said, I’m not a runner so I have no perspective on it whatsoever. But I’m glad it’s not a big deal to run it without training, definitely makes me feel better 👍🏼

my only concern is that he’s announced this morning that he thinks it’ll be a good idea to drink a few energy drinks before it to help keep him going, or to take a pre workout thing (which I think might have caffeine in it, I’m not too sure, he mentioned his friends use it before running) obviously he’s an adult and it’s totally his choice but personally I think that’s a crazy idea. He thinks it will give him energy and keep him going whereas I’ve argued it’s insanely risky. Can’t stop him though so it’s his decision, albeit a crazy one 🤷🏼‍♀️

Pre workout will definitely help but some of them can make you feel a bit weird. Some make my ears and face itch and I go red. Lovely. those that don’t make you feel like you can run around the world. Recommend mutant madness from Amazon if he must. A few energy drinks will make him bloated and sluggish.

heart issues probably mean no high caffeine intake. And this is 295g per scoop if I recall.

ANiceCupOfTea1 · 01/07/2025 21:54

RunningJo · 01/07/2025 11:58

10k is doable with no training. The fact he doesn't do exercise in general will mean he won't run much of it. But people run/walk races all the time.
The energy drinks are a bit of an overkill for this distance, he would be better making sure he is hydrated and eaten well.

Yeah I did tell him that but he’s convinced it will help his performance 🤦‍♀️

OP posts:
RunningJo · 01/07/2025 11:58

10k is doable with no training. The fact he doesn't do exercise in general will mean he won't run much of it. But people run/walk races all the time.
The energy drinks are a bit of an overkill for this distance, he would be better making sure he is hydrated and eaten well.

ANiceCupOfTea1 · 01/07/2025 11:46

Kissedbyfire1 · 01/07/2025 11:20

I think both of you are totally over thinking this. It’s 10k, 6 miles. All that will happen because he hasn’t trained is that he will set off far too fast (because if it’s a city road race the start will be crowded) then because he has no idea of pace he will very soon run out of gas and find himself walking. He will likely walk/jog to the finish, collect his t-shirt and medal and think he’s the bees knees. That’s it. He doesn’t need carb loading, gels, jelly babies or water.

yep haha it seems like I was definitely over thinking it, I just had no idea about if 10k was considered a big run or not since I’m not a runner at all! All I’d heard about was people training for a run so I thought it was something that has to be done, relieved to hear it’ll be fine!

the caffeine I’m definitely correct is a crazy idea but that’s his choice as an adult, albeit a stupid one 🤷🏼‍♀️

OP posts:
B1anche · 01/07/2025 11:46

NiMaithLiomDeLuain · 01/07/2025 11:30

How fast do you walk that you could do it in 70mins? The average woman runs 10kms in just over an hour and you think any able bodied person can walk it in 10mins more. I think you are just a super speed walker rather than that being the norm for everyone.

Yes you're right. I'm thinking 70 mins for a jog / slow run. My point is that 10k is perfectly doable, even if you have to walk it, for someone who hasn't trained. It's not like a half marathon which would take an age to walk.

NiMaithLiomDeLuain · 01/07/2025 11:30

B1anche · 01/07/2025 06:40

For 10k, he would only need to train to get a decent time. Any able-bodied person could walk it in 70 - 80 minutes.

How fast do you walk that you could do it in 70mins? The average woman runs 10kms in just over an hour and you think any able bodied person can walk it in 10mins more. I think you are just a super speed walker rather than that being the norm for everyone.

Kissedbyfire1 · 01/07/2025 11:20

I think both of you are totally over thinking this. It’s 10k, 6 miles. All that will happen because he hasn’t trained is that he will set off far too fast (because if it’s a city road race the start will be crowded) then because he has no idea of pace he will very soon run out of gas and find himself walking. He will likely walk/jog to the finish, collect his t-shirt and medal and think he’s the bees knees. That’s it. He doesn’t need carb loading, gels, jelly babies or water.

ANiceCupOfTea1 · 01/07/2025 11:14

Thanks for the perspective!

just to clarify, I was never going to stop him- I can’t, he’s an adult and it’s up to him. I was just asking if I was over reacting by being worried about it

it’s actually a huge relief that I am being dramatic and that 10k isn’t a big deal on no training. Like I said, I’m not a runner so I have no perspective on it whatsoever. But I’m glad it’s not a big deal to run it without training, definitely makes me feel better 👍🏼

my only concern is that he’s announced this morning that he thinks it’ll be a good idea to drink a few energy drinks before it to help keep him going, or to take a pre workout thing (which I think might have caffeine in it, I’m not too sure, he mentioned his friends use it before running) obviously he’s an adult and it’s totally his choice but personally I think that’s a crazy idea. He thinks it will give him energy and keep him going whereas I’ve argued it’s insanely risky. Can’t stop him though so it’s his decision, albeit a crazy one 🤷🏼‍♀️

OP posts:
ThreePointOneFourOneFiveNine · 01/07/2025 06:50

It depends how bad his asthma is and what exactly the irregular heartbeat is. Without those two things I wouldn’t be at all worried. With those two things, if he’s sensible enough to stop if either becomes a problem then I still wouldn’t be worried. It’s if he got stubborn about proving he could finish that things could go wrong.

My daughter did park run (5k) on no practice whatsoever as a small ten year old. Given her short legs I imagine she’d be doing two steps for an adult man’s one so roughly equivalent to your DH doing 10k. She had the only concerning asthma attack she’s ever had straight after, which is when we realised she had asthma and took her to the doctors to get an inhaler.

MiddleClassProblem · 01/07/2025 06:44

I just think his fantasy of keeping up with his friends will not be a reality. And as much as you are saying he will push him self to keep up, realistically his body won’t let him. Not in a health disaster way just in a my legs won’t go that fast anymore kinda way…

B1anche · 01/07/2025 06:40

For 10k, he would only need to train to get a decent time. Any able-bodied person could walk it in 70 - 80 minutes.

terracelane23 · 01/07/2025 06:38

I’d let him try. He can walk some or all of it if needed. He will just resent you if you stop him doing it.

BlueEyedBogWitch · 01/07/2025 06:38

Tell him to check with his GP. That may or may not give him a face-saving ‘out’.

If he does go through with it, tell him to google ‘Jeffing’.

Comtesse · 01/07/2025 06:35

What’s his heart condition? That’s the only thing to worry about.

Namechangerage · 01/07/2025 06:34

You can think he’s an idiot but he will be fine. Being “concerned” is a bit much.

10k isn’t that much although he will find it very tough and prob have to walk some of it.

Are you generally quite an anxious person? As your reaction seems a bit strong.

Gallowayan · 01/07/2025 06:30

You have not mentioned his age? I say this because I would consider the lack of preparation concerning if he was 50 but not so much if he was 30.

Billybagpuss · 01/07/2025 06:21

When is it and has he ever been a runner/exerciser.

If he’s never done anything before and he just gets out of bed and off he goes he’s gonna struggle.

I have started c25k more times than I can count. Yes I can hobble my way around a 5k. Yes I could do that twice. My 5k time is painfully slow at 45 mins so double that and then some for 10k. I do walk that distance fairly regularly with the dog with lots of sniffy stops. However I do remember the first time I did c25k it took me 3 weeks to be able to comfortably do week 1 which is 8 sets of 1 minute runs.

My guess he will have massive regret some point within the first km, he will either suck it up and keep going, or he will stop. I just hope he’s not too stubborn to not listen to his body with his health issues and stays sensible.

GreenSmithing · 01/07/2025 06:11

Does depend on the weather, and also his age. Over 40 we tend to be a bit less springy and there's more chance of developing joint problems. But assuming it's not going to be in the mid to high twenties, and it's a road race rather than some insane hilly trail event, he should be able to get around, doing a walk run approach. It's 6.25 miles with water stations. Most reasonably fit people can walk that in 2 hours at a fairly relaxed pace

So, i wouldn't say it was dangerous. But I also don't think he will be absolutely fine. I think he will in pain the next couple of days, and he may develop ankle, hip or knee problems if he's not used to the impact of running. However, some people won't be told so, I'd just let him get on with it and deal with the consequences. Maybe buy him some ibuprofen if you're feeling kind.

Itisnotdownonanymap · 01/07/2025 06:09

I did a 10k with barely any training and was fine. I was generally fairly fit but not an exerciser at that point

NoKnit · 01/07/2025 06:03

Totally fine

A 10k is barely over the recommended 10,000 steps a day depending on how long your legs are and how generous your step counter is

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