MIL obsessed with charity shops, Aibu?

this all sounds like a lot of work for the OP. I think when you’re giving a gift that becomes really burdensome for someone then it’s not really a gift for them, it’s more something for you. Cycling through loads of tat and binning it constantly is just a waste of time, money and resource. OP just grow a pair and say you don’t like second hand things so can she please refrain from giving you any further stuff .

So what did your MIL say when you told her to stop giving you shit covered in marks that smells?

“Skip shop”? Aka the shop where items too good to be thrown away are sold, often for charity? There are some vile attitudes on this thread.

Broken or stinking stuff isn't sold in charity shops.
You sound entitled and ungrateful.
Your mother in law is repurposing clothes and good for her.
If you don't want it, it's takes 30 seconds to fill a charity bag and leave it out on collection day.

The “skip shop”. You mean the freecycle and recycle points most recycling centres have these days?

I’ve seen loads of nearly new items at hours which are perfectly sellable - children’s barely used bicycles are a common option along with full sets of china, small unmarked items of furniture - mostly perfectly good stuff which is bulky or otherwise less useful to charity shops. People take it there precisely because its good enough to be reused. Some areas use them to raise funds for local charities.

I’m still looking forward to hearing from the OP which charity and which area has all these shops selling smelly ripped clothes and underwear as I don’t know of any charities which sell them.

It sounds like a shopping addiction - don't take it personally and don't expect it to change, and it will become less stressful.

Pick a few of the nicer things to keep and make some time to re-donate the rest of it. Make it DH's job if you can't find time to do this.

My ex mil was obsessed with charity shops, she was loaded though but she didn't see the point in spending £25 on a pair of jeans for any of the boys when she could get them in either new or very good condition for £4. The only time it annoyed me was when she would not get the boys 1 brand new thing for their birthday.

She did used to get some good bargains and it has rubbed off onto my middle son who will only buy clothes from charity shops as his dress sense is very eclectic and he can't find what he likes in high street shops.

My mum is like this, always has been. Everything is from a charity shop, or from the "skip shop" which is the grubby little shop next to the local tip, where they sell stuff people have chucked out.

I don't mind a good charity shop myself but I do draw the line about the skip shop she's obsessed with, I just feel like I have to hold my breath while I'm in there.

The advantage is, if I want to give away clothes to the charity shop, my mum is always happy for me to put the bag in her car as she is always going to a charity shop 😄she can't drive past one without stopping!

If they do they are breaking the law

Sorry, I meant their own guidelines. Not sure about the law.

This needs restating again because a lot of posters are taking the OP at face value. I don't just think she's exaggerating, I think she's straight-up lying. Charity shops do not sell second-hand underwear. (They sometimes sell new, packaged underwear and socks.) Everything I've ever browsed through is perfectly clean, laundered and fresh-smelling. Even the second-hand workout gear! If anything, sometimes it smells a bit over-laundered.

I’ve bought shoes from a UK charity shop before!

Adults shoes, yes, they all sell them. There are rules for children's shoes, however. Charity shops are not allowed to sell worn childrens' shoes.
If they do they are breaking the law.

They don't.

The OP made that bit up.

At the end of the day it is your home and your are the home keeper. I would go down the downsizing route and say 'It is very kind of you to think of us but as the children are growing they have their own ideas and we are having a huge clear out as I find we just don't have the room. Perhaps you could suggest something she could get the children for just birthdays and Christmas. You do need to be firm and also she needs to take on board your feelings. I would even address the 'silent treatment' and say that there is no need for it as no harm intended. People won't know unless we tell them but being polite and persistent is the way to go in my books.

I'm not sure what TIL stands for? I've bought shoes (crocs) for my little one from a charity shop, I only really used them for an outdoors messy play thing that we attended now and again

Maybe crocs which are not really 'fitted' might get past the rules. Maybe brand new unworn shoes too. But most of the main charity shops will not sell childrens' shoes as the rules about this are fairly strict and they need to stay on the right side of the law. Shoes that have been worn by someone else can cause damage to a child's foot.

Shoes for adults, fine. No rules about that.

Charity shops do not sell second hand knickers. They most CERTAINLY do not sell dirty second hand knickers. But any hyperbole goes in a MIL thread.

This is spot on.

My mother used to do this but with car boot sales

In her case it was her narcissistic brain telling her to buy utter crap so she could tell everyone that she clothed my children

She bought a travel cot that not only stank of poo and smoke,but it had no base to it

Slippers that had come away from the sole,clothes with leftover food down the front,children's knickers with the last childs shit still on them and toys with half the bits missing

One highlight is when she bought my tatty Teddy obsessed child a cheap,fake,not-a-tatty-Teddy and screamed at her for being 'fucking ungrateful' (I didn't know about this until years later)

Another was a toy garage that was an inch thick with smokers tar-it was filthy but I was in trouble for not 'washing it down with a bit of soap'

She did it to fill my house up with crap (I don't drive so couldn't take it to the tip) and to have bragging rights about how she supported me as I was a crap single mum who 'spends all her money on herself' (not true)

I'd have to give it back to her to get rid of and I'd get screamed at for being 'ungrateful' (I wasnt-i don't live in Buckingham Palace-I simply didn't have the room to store all her broken/smelly/raggy tat)

It was about control and power in her head-the bits I did need help and support,she was nowhere to be seen

Sounds like a result! Do say something if it’s actually unsuitable / unusable.

I do buy some charity shop or Vinted bargains but wouldn’t want a lot of excess stuff, haven’t got lots of storage.

Knickers? I cannot believe that any charity shop would sell used knickers.

I have seen things in charity shops that are stained, have holes in them and look dirty.it also sounds like she has developed an obsession if she's going in every day.say no thanks we have enough and you could ask her why she's buying new for the other grandchildren and not for yours

Living outside the U.K. I miss them a lot. They are just a great functional part of society. Reusing old things, an avenue to avoid throwing away things you don't need any more, allowing people a cost-effective way to buy things, and a portion of the money goes to charity rather than big companies? Great.

@NJLX2021 This has made me think back to when I was a child and, TBH, I don't think charity shops were a thing then. At least, nowhere near as common. What we did have, once or twice a year, was a good old fashioned jumble sale. Do jumble sales ever happen now? Bet they don't.

God I used to love a jumble sale when I was a kid. I think my Mum would be horrified sometimes at the things I took home claiming it as a bargain. I can remember a purple cardigan I bought for a few pence which looked wonderful to me but my Mum flat out refused to let me wear it. I believe it ended up being used as a shroud for our poor old cat when she died.

They do, I have been into loads of charity shop that have shoes on sale. I have never bought any and i rarely buy from charity shops anyway. I wasn't aware that charity shops sell underwear that is just nasty, I wouldn't want somebody else's used knickers. Some charity shops i have noticed have a new section, I have seen jewellery and fascinators and some ornaments that are clearly new.

I volunteered in a charity shop years ago and any underwear, lingerie or hoiserie had to be brand new to sell (because ew grim who would want used). We did sometimes get used donations but they went into the textile bin. The rules are very strict around what could and couldn't be sold.
Any undies we sold we all clearly brand new in packets. Sometimes local clothes shops would donate end of season bits and pieces that weren't sold that we would put out.
We had a steamer but no washing machine so goods had to be in good enough condition that we could steam and put it out for sale. Anything smelly or a little too used also went into the textile bin.

It can vary from shop to shop and from town to town. Charity shops in better off areas often get the donations of really nice stuff. Where my adult DD lives she has found some really good quality stuff, a coat and a fab summer dress. Also a great pair of boots.

But most charity shops sell far more than just clothes. Most take books, toys, household items and the ones with bigger premises even sell furniture. When DD was looking for furniture for her new flat she got a solid pine round dining table and four matching chairs, all in excellent condition, for £65! From the same place a 3 seater sofa for £100. Since then other great bargains for household stuff.

I find it hard to understand where people like this are coming from and why they do what they do. It just seems vindictive and purposefully nasty to bring all that garbage over to your house. If not it has to be mental illness, although I'm not sure the two are mutually exclusive.

my MIL is genuinely mentally unwell but it still fucks me off when she tries to let my child bring home crap from her musty home. Everything smells of not having been dusted for a thousand years and she tries to foist absolute garbage onto my child to bring back to our home. I put the foot down from the get go as I can envisage it growing arms and legs over the years. She’s the type that will wrap a single bar of dove soap for you for your Christmas present. I grin and bear it all because she does have a mental illness, but I have to guard the threshold of my home because it absolutely would turn into bags of rubbish on my doorstep if I’m not firm about it now.

Has all that stopped completely for you now? I always love seeing posts on Mumsnet where people stuck to their boundaries.