MIL obsessed with charity shops, Aibu?

Me too. Also rugby/football boots, ballet slipper style sparkly shoes and heelies (not sure it’s spelt right).

They don't sell second hand knickers. It's probably been said already on this thread but charity shops gets new things that are from last season and couldn't sell in the sales donated to them by big shops all the time. M&S does it a lot and it's very common with underwear.

They keep the original shop labels on and put their own labels on alongside, so customers can see it's brand new shop-donated stock.

I have bought bras from charity shops. Nice ones, brand new, and at a fraction of the price.

Everything she buys my 3 year old, whether it be birthday or Christmas is from charity shops. Knickers to shoes.

I'd be very surprised indeed if any charity shop sold second hand knickers. That's a bit of a fib, isn't it?

But it is literally EVERYTHING from there and what upsets me is the lying about it. Just because it has a ‘next’ tag on it means it’s from next when I ask ‘where is it from’? She always says ‘next’ or ‘M&S’ and rips the charity shop label off so I can’t see it before giving it to me.

It's pretty flipping obvious when something is not brand new and has been washed a few times. It wouldn't have a brand carrier bag and a receipt for a start. Just look at it and say 'is this another one of your charity shop bargains then? Thanks, although she's getting so much stuff from you she'll grow before she gets a chance to wear half of it. Don't be offended if I end up donating it back again.'

I've bought children's shoes from charity shops too. Wellies, boots and sandals.

This isn’t strictly true. It’s illegal to sell something unsafe or “not fit for purpose” under UK product safety law but second hand worn shoes are not automatically unfit. In most cases with light wear they are highly unlikely to cause issues for a child they fit. A lot of large charities simplify it for volunteers and have a blanket policy not to sell them but that isn’t the same thing.

I think you've totally exaggerated this for dramatic effect.

I have never known unclean or smelly clothes from a charity shop. Just doesn't happen.

Also knickers? only if they are sealed in a pack. Charity shops do not sell second hand underwear.

Your MIL ( had to be didn't it!) likes to pick up a bargain; branded stuff at Primark prices. Good for her, and good for the landfill.

Buying decent stuff from a chazzer or vinted etc is better than cheap crap from Primark or Tesco

Stop over egging the pudding here, and if you have a problem just tell your MIL that you don't want any more charity shop stuff, it's not something you like.

I don’t get what’s wrong with the idea. Unless they are damaged or stained somehow surely once you wash them at 60 they are clean. Presumably you rewear your own and wash over and over so it’s not as if you view them as a consumable.
It’s pretty common to see second hand cloth nappies so why would knickers be different?

Perhaps she feels like your judging her hence why she says Next instead of the charity shop. Its harmless. Be glad she's helping you with buying stuff.

Surely people wash stuff they buy or receive second hand. Like even hand-me-downs I would wash...

Then it sounds like this would solve your problem.

Its one thing to buy decent, REUSABLE, items of clothing or toys but if the clothes have stains on them, look tatty or the toys are just junk then this would piss me right off too.

Next time she does it, check the things and find a fault and tell her to return it because its no good. If that prompts her to not speak to you for weeks, well thats on her.

I do think it's weird. There can be some amazing stuff in charity shops but they're pricing things ridiculously in some. I wouldn't put my child in anything that smelled of smoke or that had marks (and wasn't a hand me down from someone I knew).

My late mum had a charity shop/secondhand obsession that basically turned into hoarding. Big plans to sell things on - furniture, shoes, tea sets - but ended up piling up at home. And she'd then insist on bringing it as gifts to one of us because she didn't want to throw it away but didn't want it in the house. Does sound like some kind of shopping addiction to me if she's there every day.

Also it's not that environmentally friendly if she's gifting you loads of things you can't use, that just puts the burden on you to put them in landfill. Are there any clothes recycling places near you?

I think it's fine for your DH to say your DD doesn't need any new clothes, you're low on storage space so you're good for now. Doesn't have to mean your only two choices are accepting everything from the charity shop, or asking her to buy things brand new.

I have pledged to not buy my nephews anything brand new.

Their birthday and Christmas presents come from charity shops, eBay, Vinted, FB Marketplace and they have had some great gifts that's they've loved for years.

I can afford to buy new but there is so much waste and over consuming, I don't want to.

I wouldn’t have an issue with most things being second hand.

i would have an issue about dirty, smelly or broken things (which most charity shops wouldn’t resell) or too much stuff in general.

perhaps find a way to express that you’re happy to have second hand items but you’ve notice the quality of goods is going down / you’re running out of space so maybe if she could look out for xx in future? A hunt for something specific might give her a reason to be more selective but still give her the chance to pop into her shops (which no doubt has a social element too)

if it was the same amount of stuff but new would it bother you this much?

is it that its 2nd hand or the quantity? if its a lot if stuff, maybe say thank you so much but you're spoiling her too much, you're too kind.

if its that's 2nd hand you're being a snob. her grandmother clearly wants to give her lots of gifts but maybe this is the only way she can afford to?

Charity shops sell underwear swimwear and shoes in my area. Have done for years

I went round our 4 local charity shops yesterday and was trying to decide if I could get a stain out on of the tops. The stain was right on the front too. I’ve also bought countless things that turn out to have broken zips.

I think this could be a generational issue and could be linked to your MIL's background and upbringing.
Not sure how old she is but if she would come from the 'make do and mend' generation this might explain it.
If not, was she brought up in a poor financial situation and if she was this could have had a life long impact on the relationship she has with money now.
You might also find it is all about your MIL, in her mind, thinking she has got a bargain and the endorphimine hit she will get from doing so.
I know it will be annoying OP but I would 'suck it up' by washing anything useful and re-donating anything which is not.
Your MIL obviously spends a lot of time looking for things for you and your daughter and gets a lot of pleasure from doing so. I think it is lovely to think you and your daughter are so uppermost in her thoughts.
I would just treat it as an eccentric trait and try and be kind about it.

In commercial units, internal decoration and refurbishing is usually down to the tenant.
the landlord do ligation is to hand it over and maintain it in a safe condition.

This is usually because the leases are self-repairing leases. The majority of the ones I came across are such.

I think it's more a being a tight fisted cow thing than a generational thing. Lots of over-sixties love to spend money. I should know, I am one!

Why would you ask her where she got a gift for your daughter? It's the height of rudeness. Just accept what she gives you with a thank you and do a wash with some laundry sanitizer before putting them on your daughter.

Oh goodness, so sorry to hear of this whole mess.
I hope you and the children are all much happier and less heavy, loosers, gifts, bugs and all! 🤣🤭

she definitely sounds one inch away from being a hoarder. I can’t actually believe she didn’t pay for the bugs to be exterminated nor that she didn’t try the “natural way”! 😭

I used to volunteer for the Red Cross. We steamed the donated goods. Anything that wasn't fit for sale was sent for rag. There are a few charity shops where I live and anything that's put on the shop floor is in very decent condition. I have also never seen knickers in any charity shop. The only time I would think there would be if they were donated still in original packaging

In the US that depends entirely on where you live. I live in an affluent suburb outside Chicago, and I find great stuff constantly—especially for my son. Vintage Jordan sweatshirts, $3 designer kids’ brands and a stitched Mark Buehrle (White Sox '05) jersey last week. Not exactly see-through tops and low-rise jeans.

You've had several people who work or volunteer in charity shops telling you that a lot do.

Have volunteered for both Oxfam and save the children. Neither of those chains banned the sale of children’s shoes.

The things we were not allowed to sell were arm bands, bike helmets, car seats, life jackets - all for safety reasons. Anything counterfeit because that’s illegal. Both chains have a policy of not selling items made from fur, toy weapons or any items with racist or homophobic sentiments, or glamourising war/violence. The STC shop won’t sell used earrings, Oxfam happy to do so.