MIL obsessed with charity shops, Aibu?

I was thinking this. My aunt used to volunteer at a charity shop and said anything stained was binned and everything was washed.
I've also never seen underwear or shoes for sale in a charity shop.
Just bin what you don't want it it's too much effort to take it back to the shop.

Has she been doing this for a long time, do you know? I ask because I'm in the USA and thrifting (buying used goods, in all of the manifestations of that practice) is HUGE and very hyped here right now. Some of the reasons (buy nothing to protest the Trump administration, resist tariffs) would be irrelevant to the UK, but some others (prices spiking post-COVID, desire to protect the environment) might resonate, especially if she's susceptible to social media.

It's super weird that she is so often buying tags-on items which smell of smoke so it sounds like maybe she has no thrifting experience at all. If she is always getting stuff that smells even when new, there's a problem with her source. Give her feedback; tell her when stuff smells and you can't use it.

Also, if she's your MIL I am guessing that she is your partner's mother. Can your partner maybe shed some light on what's going on and how best to stem the tide of unwanted items, while maybe clarifying what IS wanted and would be welcome without hurting her feelings?

I think you're exaggerating. I used to volunteer in a charity shop and all clothes were cleaned first and anything stained wouldn't be sold. I think it's very unlikely that the things she'd bring you are stained and stinky. Why waste money buying new when excellent quality items are sold like-new in charity shops? Raising money for a good cause and reducing waste?

Likewise, I've volunteered for 15 years and all items are carefully checked. Stinky or stained just wouldn't go out. Straight into textile recycling which we sell to textile merchants.

Environmentally it's better, I'm sure most of the things are totally useable so just be glad she cares and quietly donate what you don't want.

Our local charity shop (it's one of those warehouse type ones) has a lot of "new" stuff as businesses close they give a lot of the stock to this charity shop. My mother loves going in there and finding fun bargains and vintage treasures. I've no issue with it at all and I enjoy it too but honestly, we're very discerning so we won't bring anything home that has marks etc. I'd have a chat with your MIL when the occasion arises and just say that you don't mind secondhand but that you wish to have unmarked, clean and fresh looking clothing for your daughter only. Otherwise, let it rest and just toss it out.

I'd love to hear MIL's side... there must be some hint she is trying to make, right? The longer OP takes to get the hint, the more passive-aggressive stained jumpers and smelly leggings will arrive...

Knickers to shoes

Charity shops are not allowed to sell childrens' shoes or knickers. Maybe knickers if brand new in an unopened pack but the shop I work in (one of the major charity shops) not even then.

It sounds maybe she gets very excited about buying lots of things for your DC. My MIL does similar. When she visits she has a haul of charity shop clothes and also passes it off as having bought it brand new. I would prefer one or two items because we have a tiny house and little storage. DH has gently tried to tell her this but she doesn’t listen. Because my MIL does not frequently visit, she is unaware of DC’s size and many things are too small or too big. Within the bundle she gives, I pull out a couple of items I think may be ok (right size and nice style). Then I will pop the rest in the charity bin. I always say thanks.

DH has no idea and has never asked ‘where is this or that item’ - he is completely oblivious to this whole process. So I put the clothes to the side during the visit and take my time later to have a good look at the haul.

YANBU
It's awful.
I never buy second hand as I hate the smell and it often doesn't wash out. It's an old smell. Someone bought my DC a top from a charity shop with a stain on it.

Knickers in a charity shop?! 😱

I buy from several charity shops in various local areas & they are all set out perfectly, some better than your average shop , all is clean, nothing broken & clothes all just as you would buy in any clothes shop. Ive never encountered anything that smells or is stained or not fit for purpose, quite the opposite.

My MIL is like this too - i've nothing against charity shops if the items are nice and needed but she'll buy things just because they are cheap. I don't say anything as she means well

She doesn't contribute to land fills and I like that.

Broken or stinking things of course are inappropriate

However, lots of people get eco anxiety about gifts and love being green. I'd be very happy with second hand (not smelly, decent quality) gifts. I don't think she sounds stingy I think it sounds like she gives your dd lots.

And that's a bad thing because? 😉

She is in the same x3 local shops every day

Sounds like a social thing, like other people go to the gym or coffee shop or whatever. Is she a bit bored and lonely, do you think?

Agree with PP: you were exaggerating about the knickers.

I think you're exaggerating. I used to volunteer in a charity shop and all clothes were cleaned first and anything stained wouldn't be sold. I think it's very unlikely that the things she'd bring you are stained and stinky. Why waste money buying new when excellent quality items are sold like-new in charity shops? Raising money for a good cause and reducing waste?

Pick the battle.

Sell the stuff on vinted let your kid have the money