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Original poster

HR rejected grievance I made against Colleague

642 replies

RockNRoll25 · 30/06/2025 18:11

Looking for a bit of a hand hold. I submitted a grievance against a male colleague for a comment he made about me which was sexual in nature. HR have investigated and closed the case after speaking to him and accepting his explanation that his comment wasn’t sexual. It absolutely was an inappropriate innuendo and I’m really surprised by the response.

Has anyone been in a similar position - would you try to find another job, or ask to be moved teams?

OP posts:
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RobinHumphries · 30/06/2025 18:26

I’m glad I’m not the only one that can’t see a problem with what he said

nomoretreats · 30/06/2025 18:25

But you were getting your lips pumped? Have I misread something. Thought this was going to be something serious.

Pateallday · 30/06/2025 18:25

I think on balance you know he was being inappropriate, he knows he was being inappropriate but HR can't do much more than speak to him and ask him to be aware of how his comments can be "misconstrued". That is assuming this is the first complaint they have received.

Hopefully thats pulled him up short. If you know HR have received complaints before or he continues id take it further.

PaterPower · 30/06/2025 18:24

Maybe it was the way he said it but, on the face of it, it’s a stretch to see sexual innuendo in “getting her lips pumped”

Crumpet727 · 30/06/2025 18:24

I’m not sure I see anything wrong with what he said. I’m not surprised HR has taken no further action.

SeaDragon17 · 30/06/2025 18:23

Legislation makes it very clear that intent isn’t necessary for sexual harassment to exist so your HR team has dropped the ball on this.

nomas · 30/06/2025 18:21

RockNRoll25 · 30/06/2025 18:20

Apologies, reading back it’s probably difficult to comment without the context.

Basically - I had a random day off and one of the things I was doing was getting my lip filler topped up. Most of my colleagues knew this. Another colleague asked me what I was doing with my day off (in ear shot of the colleague I complained about) and he said ‘she’s getting her lips pumped’.

He is the oldest member on the team and makes inappropriate jokes most days which people pass off as ‘that’s just X being X’. He knew exactly what he was doing making that comment.

Isn’t that what they do though, pump the lips with liquid?

nomas · 30/06/2025 18:20

Sorry that happened to you. It’s good they have spoken to him. Hopefully it stays on his record and will be useful if he does it again.

Original poster
RockNRoll25 · 30/06/2025 18:20

Apologies, reading back it’s probably difficult to comment without the context.

Basically - I had a random day off and one of the things I was doing was getting my lip filler topped up. Most of my colleagues knew this. Another colleague asked me what I was doing with my day off (in ear shot of the colleague I complained about) and he said ‘she’s getting her lips pumped’.

He is the oldest member on the team and makes inappropriate jokes most days which people pass off as ‘that’s just X being X’. He knew exactly what he was doing making that comment.

OP posts:
HeddaGarbled · 30/06/2025 18:20

Hopefully, it’ll have been a lesson for him. I’d let it go (as long as it doesn’t happen again).

Figgygal · 30/06/2025 18:18

What outcome were you looking for?
Did they ask you?

MauriceTheMussel · 30/06/2025 18:17

Realistically, I wouldn’t push this.

BunnyVV · 30/06/2025 18:16

You can appeal.
but we need more info to guide you.
Companies must act to prevent sexual harassment so if they haven’t taken this seriously and it happens again then they are in hot water.

MounjaroMounjaro · 30/06/2025 18:15

Without saying exactly what he said, could you give us a similar example?

Eldermileniummam · 30/06/2025 18:13

Is the person who made the comment very senior or someone you report to?

I think you can appeal a grievance decision but my view is that the first decision will usually stand. It may be worth asking to move teams if that's possible but also look for other jobs if you wish to.

ArtTheClownIsNotAMime · 30/06/2025 18:13

How is he behaving towards you now? If he's learned not to be a pig then maybe you need to do nothing further.

FrodoTheBlueWhippet · 30/06/2025 18:12

Without knowing more info how can anyone answer?

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