HR rejected grievance I made against Colleague

Think you’re being hypersensitive, perhaps don’t share so many details of your personal life in future.
Mountain and mole hill spring to mind.

Did you raise it informally with your manager before submitting a formal grievance? Unless there is prior history, this seems more like something that should be dealt with as part of the normal process of management, rather than as a formal grievance.

An informal process would have allowed them to say that his comment was at best misjudged and that he should speak with more care in future. Raising the stakes to a formal grievance might have made it harder for them to deal with the issue in a proportionate way?

EDITED TO ADD: Like others, I didn't see the innuendo interpretation until it was explained. It is quite a stretch to see it as such a crude sexual comment.

You happily told everyone you were getting filler and he said pumped instead of filled… you over reacted.

Would you feel the same way if a women said it?

HR background here and I agree with them, I feel you over reacted.
I don’t get the sexual reference and he stated what you were having done.

Honestly, if someone said they were getting their lips pumped, I wouldn’t bat an eyelid. Are you sure you’re not misinterpreting?

I would stay exactly where you are. Why should you leave the job or the team? This incident is on record. Just bide your time, and if he does anything similar in future, go back to HR and complain again. They are under an obligation to deal with sexual harrassment (look up definition), and it would not look good at all if they brushed a second incident away. 🍷

YABU I know lots of people who say lips pumped or plumped instead of fillers.

If he has form for it then perhaps you’re already on the defensive.

Focus on reporting actual inappropriate behaviour, especially if as you say he has form for it.

That’s a very normal sentence to say in that context. Unless there’s a massive backstory, I can’t believe to reported that to HR!

I googled the phrase and AI definitely wasn’t offended and just explained it means filling your lips /lip augmentation.

A lot of people find lip-augmentation joke-worthy, so he was probably tapping into that aiming for a cheap laugh. What a geezer.

I agree he was inviting the other person to laugh AT you not WITH youand I am guessing that this colleague and yourself have a bit of a history of him making loud/lewd comments.

Id just glare at him from now on and steer clear!

I hope the lips turned out well!

I don’t think it’s sexual, but I think it was probably said in a way that was not complimentary.

It’s clear that this man is someone you don’t like or probably respect. I don’t think it’s worth going through the hassle of changing jobs, but I think there are two things you can do. One is to avoid him as much as possible and the other is to make a note of anything he says that you feel uncomfortable with.

Sounds like a completely innocent comment to me. Why were you announcing to everyone about your lip fillers anyway?

I don’t understand how that’s sexual? You were getting your lips pumped up - maybe I’m missing something as I’m old and not up to speed with those sorts of treatments, but I’m struggling to see any sexual connotations at all there.

I thought you were going to say he made a clearly crass comment like "blow job lips". I'm sure I've described lip filler as someone "having their lips plumped up". Pumped rather than plumped is barely any different in either sound or meaning so I can see how HR couldn't infer an innuendo.

He might have intended it in a vulgar way but the choice of words is too neutral for a third party to reach that conclusion.

It sounds like he has form though, so hopefully this has given him a short sharp shock and he will modify his behaviour.

Getting your lips “plumped” might be a thing, but “pumped” is not! I agree it sounds like an innuendo OP and I would bet this isn’t the first time he’s made a comment like that? Men making grim sexual comments wears thin very quickly and just shows his horrible character.

Do you like your job overall or would you have other reasons to leave?

Hardly personal information - it can cause bruising/swelling so it’s likely OP was going to be asked about it when she returned to work anyway!

LittlleMy I've obviously lived under a rock, I've never heard either word used with those meanings?! It wasn't obvious to me at all

I see nothing suggestive here. An uncalled-for quip but nowt more than that.

I needed that spelt out to me. I would never have come to that conclusion myself. I was just racking my brains as to why that would be a problem.

I would not have gone through HR for this but I suppose they also had it spelt out to them?

But It’s a reasonable description? After considering it again I can just about see where you could call it innuendo, but frankly it’s a stretch and you are putting obscene meaning into something that may or not have been meant. You are being ridiculous.

I agree it was probably an innuendo but - given the actual words - I don’t think that HR could have done much else.

In the absence of there being anything further to it (him making lewd gestures or the like), I think I would have struggled to uphold that grievance too tbh. It’s a well known informal description for someone getting lip fillers - what exactly was so inappropriate about it?

I'm with HR. You overreacted.

Why on earth would you share such personal information with all your colleagues? I hope you've learned a lesson as well.

If he does make inappropriate comments, in your opinion, maybe he'll stop now he's been spoken to.

The fact the colleague has form for this and answered on behalf of OP even though Q was not directed at him so he must have been pretty fast and so desperate to reply and the way that he termed it is clear innuendo wordplay for for vaginal (lips) intercourse (pumped).

However, yes technically that it was OP was having done but in the context of how it was said you can see why OP had an issue with it.

But I also see HR pov and he could argue nothing was meant by it so it’s difficult to be shocked by the outcome because of that.

I don't see how that's sexual innuendo?