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Original poster

HR rejected grievance I made against Colleague

642 replies

RockNRoll25 · 30/06/2025 18:11

Looking for a bit of a hand hold. I submitted a grievance against a male colleague for a comment he made about me which was sexual in nature. HR have investigated and closed the case after speaking to him and accepting his explanation that his comment wasn’t sexual. It absolutely was an inappropriate innuendo and I’m really surprised by the response.

Has anyone been in a similar position - would you try to find another job, or ask to be moved teams?

OP posts:
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5
Mrsttcno1 · 30/06/2025 18:53

God what a drama over nothing, no wonder HR have closed it. It is true, you were getting your lips pumped!

londongirl12 · 30/06/2025 18:53

Yeah I feel like I’ve totally missed the point. That is not a grievance at all. Not everyone knows the correct terminology. It’s like lips do get pumped up! I think you’ve majorly overreacted here.

AlwaysFreezing · 30/06/2025 18:50

Yeah. He meant your 'other' lips, didnt he. Creep.

RunningBlueFox · 30/06/2025 18:50

A formal grievance is the nuclear option you take when you have exhausted all other ways of resolution. You completely overreacted. First thing you should have done is speak to your manager and say you are very unhappy with what he said. If you don't have a good relationship with your manager you could speak to another manager, call HR or speak to your union rep. You are going to get a terrible reputation using a formal grievance for something like this.

tumblingdowntherabbithole · 30/06/2025 18:50

I'm not surprised they rejected it.

viques · 30/06/2025 18:49

RobinHumphries · 30/06/2025 18:26

I’m glad I’m not the only one that can’t see a problem with what he said

Agreed, it wasn’t the kindest of comments perhaps, but that’s about all. And factually it is true.

His real mistake was saying it within the OPs hearing, I bet a lot of colleagues also secretly feel that a day off to get lip filler is an odd choice but kept their opinions to themselves, or away from the OP.

GameOfJones · 30/06/2025 18:48

Hi OP, I work in HR and would have made the same decision your HR team did.

I can see how it could be a sexual innuendo, and he may well have known exactly what he was implying but he also has a plausible defence. If he said "I can't believe @RockNRoll25 thought that, that's not what I mean at all, I'm absolutely mortified, I just meant she was getting filler" then the HR representative's hands are tied. They can't uphold the grievance although could have a quiet word about how comments can be misconstrued.

You have the right to appeal which should have been put in your letter but that means a more senior manager reviews the decision made by HR and I don't think there's enough evidence here to reach any different conclusion.

DwarfBeans · 30/06/2025 18:48

I think you chose the wrong hill to die on there OP. All you’ve done is flag yourself to HR that you’ll need to be managed with kid gloves. Could you not have laughed it off and moved on or do you two have history?

NiftyGreyRaven · 30/06/2025 18:48

JumpingPumpkin · 30/06/2025 18:45

is It partly that the look of a highly sexualised woman includes pumped up lips? So you feel the comment is more sexual?

“Pumped” is a crude way to say having sex and “lips” could mean labia..

3luckystars · 30/06/2025 18:48

You said it and he repeated it. I don’t think you had a a case either.

ChocolateGanache · 30/06/2025 18:47

ThejoyofNC · 30/06/2025 18:34

Sounds like a completely innocent comment to me. Why were you announcing to everyone about your lip fillers anyway?

if you were going to the dentist or getting a haircut on your day off, would you keep it a secret?

TempyBrennan · 30/06/2025 18:47

Sorry OP, in agreement with the majority so far - not seeing the issue.

I wouldn’t leave the team, I’d just avoid that person where possible.

Tollington · 30/06/2025 18:47

You have had them pumped up so I don’t see what the issue is

Helpmeplease2025 · 30/06/2025 18:45

cant see anything wrong with this

why are you telling everyone you’re getting your lips done anyway?

hattie43 · 30/06/2025 18:45

OP you are being ridiculous

TheDandyLion · 30/06/2025 18:45

In isolation the statement doesn't give reason for a grievance but if this were 1 of many comments or examples of behaviour then it could be.

JumpingPumpkin · 30/06/2025 18:45

is It partly that the look of a highly sexualised woman includes pumped up lips? So you feel the comment is more sexual?

ChocolateGanache · 30/06/2025 18:45

Crumpet727 · 30/06/2025 18:24

I’m not sure I see anything wrong with what he said. I’m not surprised HR has taken no further action.

Have you not heard of innuendo?

cantthinkofausername26 · 30/06/2025 18:44

That’s all he said?? No wonder HR dismissed it! Grow up!

MagpiePi · 30/06/2025 18:44

I’m sure there is a grievance procedure that HR have followed which probably starts with talking to the parties involved, which they have done. HR have accepted that what he said wasn’t intended in a sexual way, and from the comments above, I think you are being a bit OTT about it.

But I don’t understand why you think HR didn’t uphold your grievance, what were you expecting them to do? Have a public whipping? Sack him?

Stompythedinosaur · 30/06/2025 18:44

Is it is the context of him making other comments?

From description you've given it sounds innocent enough, but I guess your felt sense at the time was an intent to harass you? I wonder if there was a vibe that isn't coming through just from the words said.

Pricelessadvice · 30/06/2025 18:43

But you were getting them pumped, essentially. I don’t see what the problem is.

Ihopeyouhavent · 30/06/2025 18:43

OMG seriously?! How old are you? Is this your first job?

And what did you expect HR to do?

Magenta82 · 30/06/2025 18:42

I usually have no sympathy for men who say things like "you can't say anything these days" but you just proved them all right.

CopperWhite · 30/06/2025 18:41

That comment wasn’t worth a grievance. I’m not surprised it wasn’t upheld and feel sorry for someone having such a pathetic complaint made against them.

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