HR rejected grievance I made against Colleague

This. Unless he did hip thrusts while saying it? Did he do that OP??

FFS that is not a sexual comment.

Yikes, big overreaction OP. That’s a common phrase for having lip filler

Having your lips pumped/plumped is an incredibly common term to refer to getting lip filler. A lot of women would use the term themselves. If you said to someone you were off out because you had an appointment getting your lips pumped, 99% of the population would understand that to mean you were getting lip filler instead of you were off to have sex.

It’s a cartoonish/exaggerated way to describe the procedure because it’s still viewed as quite a comical/daft thing by a lot of people and people have the visual reference of the comical fish pout lips.

It’s a very hard stretch to consider it an innuendo when the term itself exactly how he said it is a normal way to refer to the procedure, regardless if the two words independently are slang for something else. Together in this context, it’s a clownish reference to the procedure itself.

I wouldn't leave the company or ask to be moved purely as a result of this situation. Why should you have to take a hit for someone else's bad behaviour? I can understand that the incident and the decision may have changed how you feel about the company, but give it a little bit of time to see if you still feel the same way. I can understand your disappointment in the decision, but to a stranger who does not know you, your colleague, or the work dynamic the comment could be ambiguous. It's not to you as you know the larger context and see it as a part of a pattern, but IF HR discipline him and he takes legal action, it's going to seem unclear to an outsider, and HR will always want to err on the side of caution. (I'm not excusing them, just saying I'm not sure they're any worse than your average HR department). Your complaint, though, at least provides a little bit more context in case he does this again.

Of course, do keep an eye out for other jobs internally and/or externally if that's something you want anyway, but don't be pushed to settle for something because of this.

Going back over 20 years now I’d not long bought my first house and took some annual leave for a tree surgeon to do some work. The joke in my workplace was “tofana is having her bush trimmed”.
The next day making a coffee one of my friends asked me if it was painful and I didn’t know what she was on about. Office whispers had gone from a trimmed bush joke to a full blown rumour I’d booked the day off for a bikini wax.

Lips pumped - I didn’t think that was sexual, until OP said. I can see the grey area especially when it’s plumped, pumped or filled. FFS - why tell anyone at work if you are sensitive??

In regrades to comment to other woman, your work doesn’t need to involve you in this at all. You made complaint & now next step not your business.

When you complain to HR, really you should tell them what you want to happen so they can provide feedback to you regarding what they will do and if your request is realistic.

Oh, OP - I’d agree with PPs, you picked the wrong hill. It’s such a shame as I know the type you’re talking about. But this was an easy one for him to bat away. I would force your line manager to man up and do his job. Raise complaints with him until he takes action. Keep a note of the comments he makes and compile some actual evidence to take to HR if he doesn’t lighten up now.

"Pumped" also, per the dictionary, has the very non-crude meaning of something "being filled with liquid or gas". And "lips" are also the ones everyone has on their face, and which the OP was having filled.

I can’t see a problem with that. Any more than if he’d said you were getting a spray tan, or your hair done.

Im confused @RockNRoll25 - wasn't he just stating a fact? what's sexual about having your lips pumped?

I can’t believe everyone here who doesn’t understand. Nobody refers to lip filler as getting lips pumped. Nobody

A lot of us aren't into cosmetic surgery so don't know the lingo. And lips that have been filled do look like they've been blown up with a cycle pump.

Anyway the OP felt offended so she complained. HR didn't agree (neither would I).

Matter closed. But he might think twice about making a comment that could be misconstrued in future so all is not lost OP.

But I think it says more about the people who make that leap than the person who made the comment in the first place.

It is very hard to prove this kind of thing. But kudos to you for taking it so far.

Poor HR.
Also, we really need to stop crying wolf, it’s making it harder for women with actual issues to get the help and support they need.

Stuff like that and much worse gets said in my workplace pretty much every day. I wouldn't want to work somewhere staff have to be all polite and formal with each other 24/7.

YABU.

It’s really not a leap.

I can’t believe everyone here who doesn’t understand. Nobody refers to lip filler as getting lips pumped. Nobody.
nobody has a right to answer a question intended for someone else.
the fact he did interrupt and ensure he answered first shows he knew his intention was for everyone to hear the innuendo.
the only reference I know to pumped is sexual. The common word for facial lips is filled and nothing else.
this man intentionally used the word pumped. And he interrupted as he wanted everyone to hear.
HR have a duty to protect you from sexual harassment.

I used to be HR. You'd have massively struggled to get that one past me. There could be innuendo, of a Carry On nature, but surely it could also just be descriptive. I don't know the correct terms, as I've oddly never known anyone well who gets lip filler, but surely a pump or syringe is used to put the stuff in.

I also think they would be in a very weak position if they had tried to discipline him on that one example, and he may have kicked back. You really have to be able to nail someone through a grievance.

I'm not saying that you weren't upset, I'm not negating you feeling upset, but I'd suggest that you didn't have enough to raise a grievance - there was too much ambiguity.

This will now go two ways. You may actually have achieved something good anyway - he will accept a warning shot across his bow and will rein it in. Otherwise, he will grow bold in defiance and one of you will actually be able to nail him for something far less ambiguous. I really hope it will be the former - that will be more pleasant for you all overall.

Unfortunately you win a few, you lose a few.

What 😂. I think it clearly means her lips are pumped as in pumped up with a bike pump (mean but not her fanny).

I find it bizarre people thought of those lips. What a leap!

But is that not the case! I can see why HR dismissed the grievance.

This is so awful that I had to have it explained to me. What a disgraceful man.
the fact that he admitted saying it is enough. He knew it was innuendo. Otherwise he wouldn’t have spoken for you.
appeal the grievance.

I don't see the issue.
If he'd said you were getting blow job lips that would have been totally inappropriate.
Why on earth do you discuss getting lip filler with your colleagues?!

How are so many people failing to see why it’s inappropriate?!

Sorry it wasn’t upheld, OP. Hopefully it’s enough for him to stop. He sounds like a creep.

I don't like uncalled for sexual innuendo in the workplace - I once ticked off a colleague for referring to my pigeon hole as a "glory hole."

But this - really, OP ????

Another colleague asked me what I was doing with my day off (in ear shot of the colleague I complained about) and he said ‘she’s getting her lips pumped’.

How on earth is that grievance worthy?