Page 21 | HR rejected grievance I made against Colleague

RockNRoll25 · 2025-06-30T17:11:52+00:00

Looking for a bit of a hand hold. I submitted a grievance against a male colleague for a comment he made about me which was sexual in nature. HR have investigated and closed the case after speaking to him and accepting his explanation that his comment wasn’t sexual. It absolutely was an inappropriate innuendo and I’m really surprised by the response. Has anyone been in a similar position - would you try to find another job, or ask to be moved teams?

Butchyrestingface · 30/06/2025 19:43

RockNRoll25 · 30/06/2025 18:57

I didn’t involve my manager because he is usually (awkwardly) laughing along at the comments my colleague makes rather than pulling him up on them.

He said to a female colleague a couple of days before this that she looked like she had a spring in her step and was that because her husband had performed the night before. She was too embarrassed to say anything, whilst I decided enough was enough. Hopefully he will now stop as he knows HR have had a report.

It seems to be a pattern of behaviour so I can understand why the 'Oh matron' schtick has worn thin for you. Your colleague was definitely entitled to complain so maybe that's something everyone needs to start doingl

As an apparent one-off, I can understand why HR was reluctant to take action over the lip pumping comment since it is, on the one hand, a literal description off what you had done.

Do any other people in the office (other than your manager) find him amusing?

Drivingmissrangey · 30/06/2025 19:43

RockNRoll25 · 30/06/2025 18:57

I didn’t involve my manager because he is usually (awkwardly) laughing along at the comments my colleague makes rather than pulling him up on them.

He said to a female colleague a couple of days before this that she looked like she had a spring in her step and was that because her husband had performed the night before. She was too embarrassed to say anything, whilst I decided enough was enough. Hopefully he will now stop as he knows HR have had a report.

Unfortunately you picked the wrong comment to take a stand against OP.

Zucker · 30/06/2025 19:42

You were literally getting your lips pumped with filler ffs. The only reason you went to HR with this is because you were trying to punish him for what he said to your colleague.

DitzyDerbyBabe86 · 30/06/2025 19:42

Haha, you complained about that?! 😳

BobbleHatsRule · 30/06/2025 19:42

Hr made a reasonable call.

CrackOfYawn · 30/06/2025 19:41

usedtobeaylis · 30/06/2025 19:33

Are you in Scotland, the west of Scotland? There could definitely be a different connotation to that comment if so.

I was going to ask that too. In Scotland having a day off to get pumped defo has different connotations 🤣🤣

JifNtGif · 30/06/2025 19:40

RockNRoll25 · 30/06/2025 18:57

I didn’t involve my manager because he is usually (awkwardly) laughing along at the comments my colleague makes rather than pulling him up on them.

He said to a female colleague a couple of days before this that she looked like she had a spring in her step and was that because her husband had performed the night before. She was too embarrassed to say anything, whilst I decided enough was enough. Hopefully he will now stop as he knows HR have had a report.

I dont think you need to pump up the volume any more about this. The man hasn't done anything wrong! If anything HR will have your card marked now!

VeterinaryCareAssistant · 30/06/2025 19:40

RockNRoll25 · 30/06/2025 18:20

Apologies, reading back it’s probably difficult to comment without the context.

Basically - I had a random day off and one of the things I was doing was getting my lip filler topped up. Most of my colleagues knew this. Another colleague asked me what I was doing with my day off (in ear shot of the colleague I complained about) and he said ‘she’s getting her lips pumped’.

He is the oldest member on the team and makes inappropriate jokes most days which people pass off as ‘that’s just X being X’. He knew exactly what he was doing making that comment.

But that's exactly what you were doing.

As an aside, if you expect / want people to take you seriously don't get lip filler!

Orderofthephoenixparody · 30/06/2025 19:39

InterestQ · 30/06/2025 18:31

I needed that spelt out to me. I would never have come to that conclusion myself. I was just racking my brains as to why that would be a problem.

I would not have gone through HR for this but I suppose they also had it spelt out to them?

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It's the explanation he gave that HR accepted he is looking down on the op. A lot of older men know why certain women do it and take the piss out of them. He was taking the piss out of her I don't want to go to deep and insult the op. Come on!

InterIgnis · 30/06/2025 19:39

He may have meant it as innuendo, but ‘getting lips plumped/pumped’ is common parlance for augmentation, and by itself it isn’t enough to prove sexual harassment imo. I’ve used ‘getting my lips pumped’ myself with zero (intended) sexual connotations.

I’m not surprised by the outcome of your complaint.

MaraB77 · 30/06/2025 19:38

Personally I wouldn't want to work around a colleague who tried to get someone fired for such an innocuous comment. I'd never say that to the colleauges face but I'd be watching my back all the time.

AprilShowers25 · 30/06/2025 19:37

Yes it’s not the comment in itself but the fact OP is saying this man is always making lewd comments and innuendo and she knows what the tone and delivery was like.

CoralOP · 30/06/2025 19:36

Yikes, complete over reaction.

Yellowboat · 30/06/2025 19:36

Nccih · 30/06/2025 19:24

Poor HR.
Also, we really need to stop crying wolf, it’s making it harder for women with actual issues to get the help and support they need.

Yes this. Most people forget HR are there to protect the company NOT the employees.

ChristmasCwtch · 30/06/2025 19:36

You’re overreacting. You had your lips pumped with filler. The guy might be an old perv, but a standalone comment like that makes you a drama queen.

blackbird77 · 30/06/2025 19:34

Even Chat GPT states it’s a completely normal/slightly mocking way of referring to someone getting lip filler

HR rejected grievance I made against Colleague

Yellowboat · 30/06/2025 19:34

RockNRoll25 · 30/06/2025 18:20

Apologies, reading back it’s probably difficult to comment without the context.

Basically - I had a random day off and one of the things I was doing was getting my lip filler topped up. Most of my colleagues knew this. Another colleague asked me what I was doing with my day off (in ear shot of the colleague I complained about) and he said ‘she’s getting her lips pumped’.

He is the oldest member on the team and makes inappropriate jokes most days which people pass off as ‘that’s just X being X’. He knew exactly what he was doing making that comment.

Why did you tell them you were going to get your lip filler topped up?

I think you are oversharing with your colleagues. You could of just said you were going to the beauty salon. In effect you were getting your lips "pumped up" what did you think he was implying that you were giving blow jobs?

friendlycat · 30/06/2025 19:34

chatgptsbestmate · 30/06/2025 19:33

He was out of order with your colleague. But I don't think "lips pumped/plumped" is out of order. That IS the treatment that you paid for

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Agreed.

Stravaig · 30/06/2025 19:34

You have misinterpreted, and massively over-reacted. That's how it looks, even if there is a backstory that you say lends weight to your interpretation.

'Pumped' is a now-common misspeak (as seen in this thread) for 'plumped (up)' which is the original everyday description for the procedure.

I'd keep a low profile for a bit — and stop over-sharing at work! Your colleagues have no need, nor likely any wish, to know anything whatsoever about your private beauty treatments, and it's bloody intrusive to force that information on them in the workplace. Nor should they be asking you about such things during work time. Focus on developing your professional boundaries and general workplace decorum.

PleaseStopEatingMyStuff · 30/06/2025 19:33

Sorry OP but I'm witn HR.
Around here getting your "lips pumped" is a very common phrase for getting lip filler.
As in, pumped up.

IchiNiSanShiGo · 30/06/2025 19:33

You were asked a question, he interrupted and made that comment to answer on your behalf. He was rude, and I suspect crude, but he has plausible deniability. It sounds like it’s one of many incidences, and this is the one that tipped you over. Unfortunately, it’s just not enough for HR to uphold your grievance.

Hopefully they’ll have given him some words of advice and his behaviour will change. If it doesn’t, I’d make a record and keep reporting where you can.

usedtobeaylis · 30/06/2025 19:33

Are you in Scotland, the west of Scotland? There could definitely be a different connotation to that comment if so.

chatgptsbestmate · 30/06/2025 19:33

RockNRoll25 · 30/06/2025 18:57

I didn’t involve my manager because he is usually (awkwardly) laughing along at the comments my colleague makes rather than pulling him up on them.

He said to a female colleague a couple of days before this that she looked like she had a spring in her step and was that because her husband had performed the night before. She was too embarrassed to say anything, whilst I decided enough was enough. Hopefully he will now stop as he knows HR have had a report.

He was out of order with your colleague. But I don't think "lips pumped/plumped" is out of order. That IS the treatment that you paid for

TheCurious0range · 30/06/2025 19:32

Pumped means fart where I'm from! I would've taken it as pumped up/inflated. I have never in my life heard of someone referring to sex as pumping! Humping yes, Shagging, banging , giving a seeing to, knocking boots, bumping uglies, playing a game of hide the sausage.... Never pumping. Where are people from where that's used to mean sex?!

BIossomtoes · 30/06/2025 19:32

BunnyVV · 30/06/2025 19:21

I can’t believe everyone here who doesn’t understand. Nobody refers to lip filler as getting lips pumped. Nobody.
nobody has a right to answer a question intended for someone else.
the fact he did interrupt and ensure he answered first shows he knew his intention was for everyone to hear the innuendo.
the only reference I know to pumped is sexual. The common word for facial lips is filled and nothing else.
this man intentionally used the word pumped. And he interrupted as he wanted everyone to hear.
HR have a duty to protect you from sexual harassment.

Oh dear.