HR rejected grievance I made against Colleague

So you’d also take issue with me saying “I’m pumping my tyres up on the way home today”, or “I need to pump my air bed”, or “could I borrow your balloon pump”?

”Doing it” also means sex. But it’s also a normal phrase I use every day for doing many different things.

This guy might be awful and make lots of inappropriate and unacceptable comments, but this one genuinely seems a slight on OP for getting lip filler, not for getting “pumped” by a man.

If he had said “she’s getting pumped this afternoon” or “she’s getting her lips seen to” that would be quite an obvious innuendo but nobody in the history of the world has referred to sex as the pumping of lips. Pump is used sometimes as a euphemism for sex as a standalone but lips is barely ever used unless talking about genitals anatomically and unsexually. Lips is just not ever used a synonym for female genitalia commonly.

If you told any random person you were getting your lips pumped this afternoon, every single one of them would know it meant getting lip filler. It’s a normal slang way of describing it and when people say it, it’s normally meant in a humorous or slightly mocking way as loads of people think lip filler looks comical and visually unappealing. It’s more likely he said it in a contemptuous way to bring you down a peg, ridicule and make you sound superficial and low class than he meant it as a sexual innuendo.

You've chosen the wrong comment to go to HR with given that he sounded actually creepy in the other comments you mention. Men and women refer to lip fillers as getting lips pumped so often and so normally that typing it in google gives you information about lip fillers. It’s literally describing the procedure.

He didn't say anything about labia or states of arousal and as you say he was probably trying to make a joke. I'm not saying it's right but it's been through HR, he claims it wasn't sexual. There's no proof it was. Case closed.

I just don't see what else she can do about it other than go to a tribunal or something? I mean it sounds like a shit place to work tbh.

I'd hope he'd have been spoken to and warned to watch his language and conduct.

Theres absolutely nothing about sex or gender here. He said she's going to get her lips pumped. An actual factual representation of the day.

I dont understand why you would discuss a personal procedure like this at work. It is unprofessional and why do you get your lips filled? It is something that women do to retain the sexual appeal of youth, no? Or am I missing something? It seems to me that discussing this at work is opening the possibility of innuendo-loaded comments. I dont think you can lobbying this grenade into the office banter then act all devastated when someone comments on it.

Well I wouldn't be sharing my beauty procedure at work. I wouldn't have given that remark a second thought.

If he's making remarks to other women let them complain.

Just get on with your work. You've made your point now.

Serious question, on what grounds do you hope to appeal this

Hint: "i don't like the verdict" isn't one.

You have jumped the gun here. I don’t see sexual innuendo at all. Why did you not just speak to him?

In answer to your question, it could stand to be much clearer

You were getting your lips pumped, he was just stating a fact.

Yes because for a lot of us it is seen as a slight on getting her lips filled - lips pumped is used just as much as getting pumped.

words can have different meanings and often do - in this context it at most a double entendre and one I would say quite a lot of adults would miss.

And the OP was getting her lips filed so that part of factual.

the fact is there isn’t enough proof that he meant the smutty version at all. Especially as no other comments would be looked at

Did they give you a right of appeal to a higher authority?

Sorry, OP,
You come out of this situation looking insecure, oversharing, too sensitive and with a very sexualised perception of words.

ln my old days we would (a) never share anything so deeply personal and (b) answer to the creepy colleague directly.

Running to HR with this in the first instance feels childish and ignorant: HR function is to protect the employer from breaking laws, not to help employees.
I guess these are cultural generational differences, but even young HRs would have to act within the law/practice.

Not proof that he meant it as a double entendre. ( though he very likely did)

but proof that his choice of language could be seen to have a sexual meaning.

‘Getting pumped’ is a common term for having sex.

’lips’ can refer to lips on your face or labia. ( in fact the reason full lips are considered so attractive is because it mimics women’s genitals in a state of arousal)

Could it be any clearer ?

also add in context- he jumped into a convo to deliver this line. He wasn’t asked directly. So sounds like he was trying to make a joke.

add in the fact that he asked a colleague if her husband’s‘performance’ had put a spring in her step suggests this guy knew exactly what he was doing

Well actually no its not all the proof we need is it.

Thats the whole point isnt it

It's not innuendo at all though. He's just stating a fact. She was getting her lips pumped with filler. It's a saying I've heard many times. I've never thought once that someone was talking about labia when I've heard this.
If this man is a creep then whoever is affected needs to keep a record of what he is saying and doing until there's enough to build a case. Not raise a grievance over a comment that most people would think entirely innocent.

I patiently await op's next thread after her workmates become too scared to say anything to her at all

"HANDHOLD NEEDED im being ignored in work is this BULLYING?"

@Hotflushesandchilblains has given an example.

I think the fact that many people on this thread can see how this could be a sexual comment is all the proof you need.

it’s the kind of thing smutty school boys say.

I actually think it might have been more of a dig about having lip fillers than sexual. I can see how it could be said in a very derogatory way. I wondered if it was more about that than sexual, because the latter sounds a bit tenuous.

At my last job, I was a code checker. I raised a grievance against my store manager as he bullied me which included hiding some produce and putting out 2 days past the use by date. Every colleague said that produce was empty. Then he says everyone grows out of dyslexia. He put the photo of the cases on my file. Higher value food which was found out of date in the past and no colleague had this treatment.

Raised a grievance against the store manager as he kept on and on about these cases. I cried so much at home that I vomited. The grievance was rejected by his manager as quoted ‘he’s a wonderful manager’. Erm no. I was the 9th colleague to leave due to
the bullying. Two raised grievances and got rejected. I heard about this about a week after I left.

OP, I'd definitely keep track of these comments, be it to you or any other woman and keep reporting him. A pattern will form and if they're a decent HR team they'll see that.

yes, @GanninHyem - lets hope they track patterns and dont treat everything as a one off incident. There are too many examples of terrible outcomes where the pattern of offending was completely overlooked because the investigators insisted on treating each report as a stand alone incident.

Why is "she's getting her lips pumped" sexual? Isn't it just a casual way of describing exactly what you were doing?

I'm not saying this guy isn't an arsehole as he probably is. But those words to me aren't anything to do with sex? It might be a bit dismissive and derogatory for sure.

Anyway you went through HR and they say it's been dealt with. It sounds like a shame but to dwell on it won't really help.

I can't beleive you raised a formal grievance over this. How very dramatic!

Exactly the reason OP said it was an innuendo. Or double entendre if you will.

I think given this colleagues penchant for comments that skirt the line of being sexual in nature it's highly likely the way OP has taken it is the way he meant it. It's clearly not just a one off comment that was taken the wrong way. Bloke sounds like a reet smarmy git.

Of course he can go all doe eyed.to HR like "miss I'm innocent I just meant this" like a naughty teenager, which is why it's not more overtly sexual.

OP, I'd definitely keep track of these comments, be it to you or any other woman and keep reporting him. A pattern will form and if they're a decent HR team they'll see that.