HR rejected grievance I made against Colleague

My mind is far from innocent, especially having worked for far too many years at a time when women had no real recourse to sexual innuendo and harassment, which was rife.
I'm usually all over sexual innuendo but I simply did not understand the issue here. I did not immediately think 'lips' = labia. I was trying to figure out how it was sexual and all I came up with was maybe it was something to do with a blow job 🤷‍♀️
I, and those I know have always referred to fillers as being 'pumped'. I thought OP went to HR because he was rude by jumping in and sneering at her having her lips injected. Or 'pumped' which I've heard more often these days as "pumped full of adrenaline" Or "pumped full of hormones" which refers to having something injected.
People judge pumped up lips. On the face. All the time. So it is not immediately obvious, and for some, it's a stretch to apply anything other than injecting whatever it is they inject to make puffy lips.

One grievance to HR over one comment that isn't obviously anything other than a mean judgement isn't going to be upheld. Especially if no one else has complained and there is no documented pattern of sexual harassment

Yes it's completely gross.

Pulling people up in the moment is far more effective than involving HR immediately. Or at least having a direct conversation with the person to tell them that their comments aren't appreciated. I get that it's awkward, but best to deal with things like adults rather than roping management in without trying to go down diplomatic routes first.

(Spoken as a woman who has dealt with similar and worse in the workplace and has managed to resolve the issues herself each time)

I hope this guy will raise a grievance against you OP.

It's not great to discuss medical procedure in an open plan office setting and pretty gross to talk about lip fillers. Pumped up lips look awful and porny or, best case scenario, suggest the owner of enlarged lips is deeply insecure. I'd feel very uncomfortable if my colleagues were mentioning this to colleagues at work (how often? How overt? How many people? was your chat very detailed, graphic, repetitive?).

This man may have felt uncomfortable by how you behave and this was the way he dealt with it by saying loudly your getting your lips pumped.

I'd leave it behind, polish my cv and I suppose enjoy the cosmetic enhancements?

I don't understand how using the word "lips" is "clear innuendo wordplay" for vaginal, when there is no other word for lips?! The sentence he used makes perfect sense and there is no alternative word that I can think of for lips - he didn't pick the suggestive option but the only option?

As others have said, sounds like he may have been an older man who thinks fillers are silly, but that's not the same as being lewd.

It’s grim, but on its own not a sackable offence. Harassment has to be a pattern. So if not the sack, what outcome were you hoping for?

Effectively you’ve ended up with the same outcome as if the grievance had been upheld.

Management and HR have been alerted to his behaviour, the complaint is on file, and if he does it again he will find it very difficult to explain away.

More to the point, who goes
around announcing they are getting their lip filler topped up?

It's the weather. Causes the back door to swell and you sometimes have to use your shoulder to get it open.

Hope we aren't getting the call to HR tomorrow.

Another one who thinks it’s actually a dig at lip filler/the over filled look.

So everyone knew you were getting your lip filler topped up and he said you where getting your lips pumped. You pump air into tyres, pump filler into lips. No innuendo, he stated facts and you reported him lol oh dear.

Why not? It has been stiff lately! Bit of hard work but got it in in the end

I'm just glad the op didn't mention the joiner was seeing to her back door!

I can’t see anything wrong with what he said. Telling work colleagues you’re going to have your lips filled is a bit strange, as it’s quite a sexual thing to do anyway.

Wow, patronising much?

I think you have failed to grasp the nuance of the situation here, which is that what he said was accurate, so it doesn’t meet the threshold for sexual harassment.

I sympathise with OP, but if people haven’t complained about this man before, then this comment alone is not enough to discipline him.

The comment to the colleague about her husband performing the night before, yes, that clearly IS sexual should be reported.

Come on now, you surely cannot think that all words only have one meaning and that context and tone dont influence them. I once referred to pulling someone off of something at work. Cue gales of laughter from the resident creep and lots of nudge nudge wink wink comments. Who then explained it was sexual slang for wanking someone. If it is a once off comment, most people would write it off. But as OP has clearly stated - this guy has form.

My SI radar is probably too finely tuned, but I genuinely cannot see the sexual innuendo in this when said within context you describe.

Honestly, you are lucky he didn't reverse-grievance you, OP.

You are the one getting lip filler; you are the one telling all your colleagues about it; you are the one with the bizzarely sexualised interpretation of a matter-of-fact description of the procedure.

Arguably, you are the one your colleagues should be uncomfortable around in the workplace.

this thread is hilarious…does no- one know what double entendre actually means?

yes, we all know it could be an innocent comment about getting lip filler. But it also could have a double meaning.

OP- the problem is that in isolation it’s very difficult to say it was a sexual comment. But keep logging any further comments with a line manager. I’d also encourage your colleagues to do the same

Unless he said it accompanied by a hip thrust a là Lord Flasheart then I think you are massively overreacting.

I feel harassed every time im asked to do soneyhing entirely in my job remit

Can i raise a grievance?

His previous comments, which I'm sure you have many examples of, demonstrate a pattern of sexual harassment. I hope you raised them during your grievance meeting, they add context and demonstrate his form for this behaviour, it's not a one-off. They should have interviewed you, him and others that may have been witness to them. If you named the colleague who made the 'husband performance' comment to, they should have interviewed her also. If they missed any of these steps they failed to carry out a sufficient investigation and this is the grounds you appeal on. Absolutely DO appeal. Men like this don't stop unless they are MADE to stop. Ignore the ignorant posters telling you it's minor and to drop it. Sexual harassment laws were increased tenfold recently. Your appeal should reference these updates and their failure to take proactive and reasonable steps. Sexual harassment doesn't need to be proved. What matters is that you FELT harassed. I'm an HRBP.

It is a fairly common thing to say because it looks like you have had your lips pumped up like a tire. He may have meant it sexually but
hard to prove.

Ermmmm what now? You were getting your lips pumped - what’s the issue? You overreached then overreacted massively.

Edit: sorry you assumed lips meant labia and pumped meant shagging?! 😂😂 are you serious?!?

Could mean labia?...you've got sex on the brain.