HR rejected grievance I made against Colleague

Exactly. And to be clear, the 'lips' he meant were not the ones on her face.

I actually can't believe what I'm reading. Are you all so naive that you don't see the sexual connotations of what OPs colleague said?

He knew exactly what he was saying. He didn't mean plumped. He was basically saying that OPs lips were getting fucked.

It should not be said in the workplace. Why should anyone have to feel uncomfortable at work because a man decides to be inappropriate.

This also has nothing to do with lip filler either. If you don't like it, you don't need to tell us you don't 🙄

OP, I would check with HR that they understand the meaning of what he said because if this thread is anything to go by, it seems that most of the population have never heard the word pump used in a sexual way.

I think this is pretty spot on.

I am sorry you felt offended and I appreciate people are different. The work place is very PC compared to what it was, it's not an excuse but we as humans need to be more tolerant of others in each direction. If he is older he will learn that times are changing but you can't always condemn others based on your expectations alone, particularlyas we are from differentcultures and generations. He hopefully got a proper albeit informal chat from HR as this is a process of education.

I personally would not tkae offence to gis comment. It's not cut and dry as innuendo and even if it was, who cares. It's not something that I'd even flinch at, or anyone I know. However if he has form, he will need some education or it won't go well for him.

Also, I'd be horrified if my work colleagues discussed things like lip filler. It's not chatter for in the office I'm sorry. Unless you have a very tight knit group of friends there... It's just not a thing that's appropriate.

I immediately understood what he meant and it's extremely vulgar. Often with these sorts of comments it's the way they are said. She's getting her lips (vagina) pumped (sex) ;) ;) if you know what I mean etc etc double entendre type thing. But he will of course say he stated it factually and with no double meaning whatsoever.

I work in a male dominated field. Trust me, if I said this sentence at work they'd all fall about laughing. Everyone would 'get it'.

Also, some men automatically see filled lips as a sexual thing anyway (blow job association) so it isn't a big leap to them to jump to innuendo on the mere mention of the subject. I hear this a lot at work (blow job lips etc).

It's extremely frustrating OP as without further reports he will be able to wriggle out of this one but someone who speaks like this will slip up again. If you keep reporting it builds a stack of evidence that means it's harder and harder to keep denying.

Anyone who believes this was an innocent remark is incredibly naive. The way men talk about us when it's men alone (or mostly alone - or only with a woman 'inferior' to them around) is honestly shocking. Yes, yes, not all men. But definitely this one!

Huge over reaction. What he said was correct

After reading your update, YABU.
Heat be that sort of man but he stated a fact, lips being pumped.

You took it a certain way because of his history, but it doesn't automatically mean he was talking about sex in this case.

Don't you sound like a lovely, feminine and refined lady. Exactly the type I hope my son brings home.

What a total waste of HR's time to even have to investigate this.

This thread is the first time I've felt sympathy for people working in HR.

I'm pretty sure that if you look hard enough, near enough any term could be interpreted sexually, but this really isn't the one to complain about. It doesn't help that talking about getting lip fillers in the office makes you sound vain and insecure.

I think a lot of people on this thread (unless incredibly innocent/naive) are being deliberately obtuse in saying that they can't see any way that this term could have been meant/interpreted sexually.

As I mentioned in a PP, I personally wouldn't have accepted this grievance, but come on. Just because it's not a term you use, and even if you'd never once heard it before, if I told you that John had been caught pumping Jane, you'd instantly know exactly what I meant.

Same goes the other way around, with posters saying that it couldn't possibly have been a comment about filler because they haven't heard it/don't use it in that context. If we were talking about someone who'd gone full Donald Duck and I said "She's getting her lips pumped again on Friday", you cannot seriously tell me that you'd assume I was suggesting a little afternoon delight was on the cards.

Also, I think as a fun experiment we should all casually drop into conversation with our partners that we need to set aside half an hour at some point this weekend as we fancy getting our lips pumped. The reactions will be worth it.

Huge over reaction if you're all adults! Poor HR having to deal with this nonsense.

Yeah, don't do this OP.

rare that this is deployable but:

LOL

You are hopelessly naive if you believe that man was mithering around this subject.

He absolutely knew what he was saying.

Because your mind is in the gutter.

The meaning is not clear at all and just because "you" associate the word "pumped" with something sexual is your problem and is the result of porn culture. In any case, I think he may have meant "plumped" but these awful lip fillers look just like tyres that are indeed pumped!

All the people saying he didn't mean it as an innuendo are wrong.

The whole lip pumping / filler "fashion" is dreadful. I don' know anyone personally who has had it done but I've seen it here far too often and they look like they've been stung by a wasp.

This is certified bollocks.

Comments like these are misogynist and create a hostile environment for female employees.

In this instance the innuendo is clear - this man is suggesting that your lips (mouth) or more likely your genital lips will be inflamed by sexual activity.

I'd advise you to go back to HR using these terms:

"John Smith's comment suggested that during my time off my lips or, more likely, my genital labia would be inflamed in a manner which calls to mind sexual activity.

There is a history of similar comments by John Smith.

Severally and in combination, these comments create a hostile environment for female employees.

In failing to address this complaint, [Company Name] are choosing to allow this hostile environment to continue. "

As a general rule, raising a formal grievance about things like this will definitely change the culture, because organisations are very wary of having a paper trail like this.

Please, destroy these motherfuckers.

Adding comments is not just for the Op but for readers in general. Who made you the arbiter?

Are you serious, is that it? Get a grip.

(And lip filler is tacky AF, btw)

Sorry Op, but he did not make an inappropriate comment at all. It is exactly what you had done and I would likewise use the same phrasing. Yes, you got your lips pumped. I'm more worried that you thought it would be sexual. Porn culture has infiltrated younger society and it deeply concerns me.

Does no one else find the extent of this pile on bewildering? Op has clearly withdrawn, she’s probably having a bit of a bad time and wishing she hadn’t made the complaint I would imagine. Why do people feel the need to continue to add their opinions? Don’t get it.

Pulling people up in the moment is far more effective than involving HR immediately.

This. A simple "What do you mean Bob?" would have stopped him in his tracks. He's hardly going to stand there and admit he was talking about you getting your flaps rattled, and if he says he was talking about your filler, you hit him with "Please don't make comments about my appearance."

You say he has form. Have other people gone to HR about him? Obviously if there's a pattern of behavior they should be addressing it, even informally if it's not reaching the bar for disciplinary action. "Please be mindful of your language around colleagues, as its bordering on a breach of our COC" sort of thing.

I absolutely wouldn't have actioned this in and of itself. Even with the low burden of proof required, I think most reasonable people would have understood it to have more likely than not been a (admittedly unwanted) comment about your filler, which you have discussed openly around colleagues. I certainly would have suggested he keep such comments to himself in future regardless. I would have arranged a quick face to face so that he could apologize, if that was something you wanted.

Is it possible OP - given that you see this man as a 'creep' - you are reading the absolute worst into the jokes/comments he makes? He may have been absolutely mortified to hear that you interpreted it that way.

Or, he might have meant it.