Do you think smoking weed every night is cause for concern?

I think if your H wants to smoke that it’s his business. Or it would be if he lived alone down a lane somewhere, not with a wife and kids (and neighbours as you mentioned). The two parts that would upset me most would be the creation of an atmosphere for your kids where they’re almost bound to become frequent weed smokers as teens and the fact that he’s a nasty person without the weed.

From people I know well who smoked a lot as teens in most cases it threw their whole life off course. A couple of friends have just done degrees in their thirties and forties because they either never made it through school exams in the first place or dropped out of uni all due to weed use. Proud of them but I know they’re annoyed with themselves for missing out on the chance to get qualifications earlier in life. A close friend developed psychosis and lost years of his life to it. Others just became aimless and kind of just failed to become rounded grown ups because weed was their only interest/hobby and still is.

The fact that he’s not a very nice person without the weed suggests that he … isn’t a very nice person. Don’t you think?

BIL smokes weed daily. He's a nice enough chap but two things irk me with it.

Firstly, they never stay out anywhere without him essentially clock watching to go home and have a smoke. He gets grumpy and irritable, which then impacts the group. Went on a group holiday and it was disastrous. We went off on our own eventually, but my sister and niece missed out on going to a couple of things because BIL wanted to get back to the accommodation (for a smoke).

Secondly, he is getting a bit paranoid and starts talking about the most ridiculous shite. It embarrasses my sister and my niece. He's smoked for so long that he doesn't even realise how far from normal his behaviour is. Now my niece doesn't want school friends to meet her dad which is really sad.

It's my sisters life, so none of my business but I wouldn't be with someone like that. If I'm honest I do judge it a bit when it impacts my niece. But I'd also judge if someone was drinking every night.

Who are the right people?

Even if he’s not driving directly under the influence if he’s a heavy user it’ll never properly clear from his system and he runs the risk of losing his licence at any point as if he’s every drug wiped he’ll be positive.

I have no beef with recreational drugs - i’ve done a ton of them in my time so no judgement from me but this isn’t recreational and addictions are always a safeguarding concern.

And yes, it absolutely stinks and yes, everyone around you will know.

Just because something is in your system doesn’t mean you’re impaired for the same amount of time.

This must mean if people smoke it every day then they are permanently stoned ?

Your children aren’t stupid. They likely already know and will definitely when they’re a bit older. It’s normalising it for your children which means they’re more likely to also smoke it. It can lead to MH issues and affect brain development in adolescence/young adults so it’s not something I’d want any of my children’s role models doing.

Oh no!
cowering
Not....not LABELLED!!!

Weed can stay in the system for around 48 hours, so even if he does not smoke on a day he's driving it could still be in system.

Genuinely, weed absolutely stinks and is awful to be around. Your neighbors definitely know what he’s doing, your house and potentially kids clothes will stink of it. Your kids know he’s smoking and it won’t be long till they know what.

You’re trying to hide his behaviour from your kids, he’s bad tempered when he doesn’t have it.

What part of this is making you think this is OK?

Weed is very normalised and people always come back with the comparison to alcohol but the bottom line is that this isn’t good for him, for your kids, for your relationship with your neighbours.

Your neighbours absolutely do know and they do slag you off for it. Especially in this hot weather when people want their windows open but they can't because of the stench.

You'll have been labelled.

So he's addicted? If he was ok with his decisions, he'd be rolling up and smoking infront of the kids. He knows it's wrong.

Dulling your senses every single night is a dependance OP. No matter what it is.

Not really, you can have it prescribed in the UK now (when other medicines haven’t worked).

She will be the kid whose dad stinks of weed.

Nice

I have found that British people can be really uptight about cannabis (and all smoking).

Obesity, generalised alcoholism, injections into the face and aggressive mental health drugs are all okay though.

So you're asking the wrong people, but the real answer is: its fine, lots of things are fine jn moderation

Are you having a laugh? It’s utterly grim. Weed is for losers. I’m guessing your husband isn’t exactly a high flyer? Don’t do this to your kids. I’m actually hoping this is just a windup. The mind boggles.

You neighbours will know part of the reason ours got an ASBO was the incessant weed smoking it was classed as antisocial.

Everyone I know who smokes it or smoked it loads when young have MH difficulties that weed doesn't seem to have improved despite them believing it does.

@LastPodcastOnTheLeft as o said of course they bloody know. We have had to come in from the garden at times because the smell was overpowering. It permeates into the house.
as I have said DS not only likes to play basketball and football but also likes to go to sleep with the TV on in the room next to the one who smokes so quid pro quo

the irritation etc is because he has an addiction and cannot cope without it __

Smoking weed keeps my dad from drinking, and believe me for him it’s the lesser of two evils. I don’t think it’s that bad but see if he can get a medical cannabis card - that way he can keep out of legal trouble.

I think saying he becomes irritable without it is the biggest red flag for me. I’m not anti drugs but when it’s an addiction I think it can become a problem. What would happen for example if he lost his job because of his weed smoking? Does he drive, what happens if he gets pulled over and drug swabbed? There’s too much at risk when you’ve got kids.

I see what you mean. I agree with you that isn’t always the case, I knew someone who cleaned a lot whenever they smoked weed and they weren’t thick at all. I think the risk of it all is you’ve no idea which way you will go! But yes I agree. you don’t necessarily become lazy or ‘thick’.

Absolutely agree. If a teen smokes weed it permanently changes the way their brain develops and is wired. It's linked to to increased risk of schizophrenia and other mh conditions. This is exactly why ss would consider it a concern.

Your kids will know their teachers probably will too they will smell of it.
The neighbours will definitely know, it stinks I can't have the doors or windows open in summer as a neighbour smokes and it's smells all through my house.
If he got arrested and you have a job where you need a dbs you will have to report it.