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AIBU?

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Original poster

Sports day!!!

222 replies

autumngirl714 · 30/06/2025 15:47

At my child’s school, Sports Day is split into two parts. Part 1 is great—an obstacle course where everyone takes part in their team colours, and each team earns points. But Part 2 is where I feel a bit torn. It’s competitive racing and field events, but only the best from each team colour get picked—fastest runners, longest jumpers, etc. The rest of the kids just sit and watch.

Every year, the same sporty kids get chosen, and my daughter —who tries really hard but isn’t the fastest—never gets picked. She's started to really dread Sports Day now and feels like no matter how much effort she puts in, it’s not enough. It’s heartbreaking to watch.

I do understand the argument that this gives athletic kids a chance to shine, and I don’t want to take that away—but I can’t help but feel it’s unfair and disheartening for the rest. Wouldn’t it be better to include more children in Part 2, or offer additional fun races so that everyone gets a turn?

Just been to sports day today where the same girl got picked to do every single competitive race meaning nobody else got chance. She gets picked every single year which is great for her, but not fair on others.

What do you think? Aibu?

OP posts:
Eight8eight · 30/06/2025 16:17

My DS is probably dyspraxic and really struggles with sports day for the opposite reason. He has to take part in everything and finds it humiliating. I'm not sure on the happy medium really.

Amethystanddiamonds · 30/06/2025 16:15

I don't think it matters how you do sports day. It's still a day to let the athletic shine at the expense of others. School would be torn to shreds if they had something similar for academics. Can you imagine the uproar if they got the parents in for an arithmetic challenge and put all the best kids in group A and all those that struggle with maths in group F and told them to compete against one another?

m00rfarm · 30/06/2025 16:15

autumngirl714 · 30/06/2025 16:10

You're all right, not everyone is sporty. I get that.
And whilst things aren't always fair, they could be fairer imo! Maybe introducing some mixed ability races, so to only "the best" get a turn!

Mixed ability! FFS - this is a school sports day. What next? Everyone has to win a prize that takes part? Have a sports birthday party if you want this sort of event.

Coffeeishot · 30/06/2025 16:14

If you think it is unfair can you contact the school about it ?
How many more years has your dd left at her School if they take your suggestions on board she might be able to take part next year, but I do think you have to help her cope with not being picked it isnt a failing on her part she does need help dealing with that.

cardibach · 30/06/2025 16:13

autumngirl714 · 30/06/2025 16:10

You're all right, not everyone is sporty. I get that.
And whilst things aren't always fair, they could be fairer imo! Maybe introducing some mixed ability races, so to only "the best" get a turn!

But you say they’ve done that - the first part of sports day is for everyone.

m00rfarm · 30/06/2025 16:13

So if there was a spelling bee, then the best children should not be chosen? Or a maths competition? Stop protecting children to the level where they expect to be selected for everything, even if they are not good enough. How are they going to grow up in a competitive world with this sort of mollycoddling.

Ablondiebutagoody · 30/06/2025 16:12

I don't think schools can win on this. If everyone is involved, you will have some dc apparently crippled by the anxiety of a public shaming if they are rubbish.

I like how my son's school do it. Couple of hours of events for everyone to earn points for their house. Then sprints for 30 mins for the fastest, having done heats behind closed doors in PE.

ilovesooty · 30/06/2025 16:12

autumngirl714 · 30/06/2025 16:10

You're all right, not everyone is sporty. I get that.
And whilst things aren't always fair, they could be fairer imo! Maybe introducing some mixed ability races, so to only "the best" get a turn!

They all get a turn in the morning. The afternoon is about competition between the best people. Why should that involve mixed ability races?

Original poster
autumngirl714 · 30/06/2025 16:10

You're all right, not everyone is sporty. I get that.
And whilst things aren't always fair, they could be fairer imo! Maybe introducing some mixed ability races, so to only "the best" get a turn!

OP posts:
cardibach · 30/06/2025 16:05

autumngirl714 · 30/06/2025 15:53

I understand what you're saying. I was never good at sports when I was younger and remember always loosing 🙈 But at the same time, children shouldn't be feeling excluded/not good enough. This practise of the same sporty children getting to do the races every year only feeds into the sense of "I'm not good enough", "I'm too slow", "I won't get picked".

Not good enough at athletics, sure. What’s wrong with that? Everyone can’t be the best at everything, like I said.

ilovesooty · 30/06/2025 16:04

autumngirl714 · 30/06/2025 15:53

I understand what you're saying. I was never good at sports when I was younger and remember always loosing 🙈 But at the same time, children shouldn't be feeling excluded/not good enough. This practise of the same sporty children getting to do the races every year only feeds into the sense of "I'm not good enough", "I'm too slow", "I won't get picked".

Some people are better at things than others. That's the reality. At least everyone is included for the first part and she's not being forced to participate in something she isn't good at. The second part is a competitive event, so of course they want the best people.

cardibach · 30/06/2025 16:04

Screamingabdabz · 30/06/2025 15:58

How do they know who is the best if they hand pick before they’ve even run the races? Let anyone that wants to compete compete. Just don’t force those who really don’t.

Show quote history

Because they have PE lessons? The teachers will know the best sports people as they know the best mathematicians, scientists, artists etc. I have some sympathy with letting people compete if they want to, but it can make the day unwieldy because you start to need heats.

Coffeeishot · 30/06/2025 16:04

I remember my kids school sports day was run like this i had 1 sporty the other not.
some kids are just sporty not everything has to be fair it really is about everybody having fun and taking part, the same kids get picked because I assume they are just the fastest and will win for the "team" . I do think its up to parents to manage expectations.

Original poster
autumngirl714 · 30/06/2025 16:01

So they do small obstacles to begin with, like throwing bean bags and jumping hoops, the second half is the bigger part of sports day where they get to do the races and more athletic stuff.

I just feel it should be more inclusive. I can see two sides, but I can't ignore how my child feels and the fact it's the same person getting picked for every single race every single year.

OP posts:
greencartbluecart · 30/06/2025 16:00

DD school would split them into bands A team were the strongest but if enough children wanted to take part, sometimes they had an E team event for rounders

In other words they managed to let everyone join in with everything and at the same time celebrate those who were extra special

the only sad things about the lower groups were that very few other schools bothered so inter-school opportunities were very limited for the weaker chikdren

edut to add occasionally chikdren would move between the groups depending on performance

PreetyinPurple · 30/06/2025 15:58

In the 80s we used to have to walk to the local stadium - watch the sporty kids compete in sports day - walk back to school. Waste of time, no body watched or cared that much.
For me, the issue is being made to watch. Not unless everyone has to go watch the musical kids play, or go and see the arty kids art work.
i don’t know why they don’t just stick to day one/ or on day two offer alternative activity for the kids not in those races.

Screamingabdabz · 30/06/2025 15:58

cardibach · 30/06/2025 15:52

They include everyone in the first half. The second half is more serious competition for those who are genuinely good at athletics. I don’t see the problem. Everybody can’t be best at everything.

How do they know who is the best if they hand pick before they’ve even run the races? Let anyone that wants to compete compete. Just don’t force those who really don’t.

Brefugee · 30/06/2025 15:55

yes, if we let them all do everyting no matter how good, how do you think our elite sports will look in 15 or 20 years?

All get a go at the first part, the best get a go at the 2nd. I think that is pretty good

Uifpdjjjj · 30/06/2025 15:54

If they have two days surely everyone is included?
I really don’t get the issue with the best performers being selected to do additional races on the second day.

Original poster
autumngirl714 · 30/06/2025 15:53

I understand what you're saying. I was never good at sports when I was younger and remember always loosing 🙈 But at the same time, children shouldn't be feeling excluded/not good enough. This practise of the same sporty children getting to do the races every year only feeds into the sense of "I'm not good enough", "I'm too slow", "I won't get picked".

OP posts:
cardibach · 30/06/2025 15:52

They include everyone in the first half. The second half is more serious competition for those who are genuinely good at athletics. I don’t see the problem. Everybody can’t be best at everything.

Screamingabdabz · 30/06/2025 15:50

I think sports day shouldn’t have to include everyone. It’s a uniquely cruel form of public humiliation that stays with people for years. But I do think if kids want to take part, yes let them, that’s the whole point of competitive races surely?