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Original poster

Do I need to unclench? Horrified by comment my manager made

105 replies

KellieMum3 · 30/06/2025 15:21

I recently moved teams at work, think big corporate company with a lot of middle managers. Team meeting (virtual) today. Manager was in the office - someone pointed out this isn’t his usual day to go in. His response was to say he checked the forecast and picked the day the most female flesh would be on display. Much laughter from some others on the call.

Am I being prudish or is that really not the time or place for such a comment?!

OP posts:
TreeDudette · 30/06/2025 16:37

I'm in a big corporate. I'd report this to HR. Fine to say you checked the forecast and came in to take advantage of aircon but not what he said 😳

lifeonmars100 · 30/06/2025 16:37

What a tedious silly little man. What bothers me is that aside from the fact he thinks that this is acceptable to say is that others laughed. If you laugh at crap like this you are giving men like this the idea that this is reasonable behaviour. Any women laugh at him? if they did they are complicit in letting this sort of pathetic end of pier sexism continue.

NeedToChangeName · 30/06/2025 16:23

Dartmoorcheffy · 30/06/2025 16:14

I would just reply with i was hoping the men would be coming in wearing shorts so I could admire their legs.

I don't see how that would help

The aim is to reduce everyday sexism dressed up as humour, not to increase it

MsOvary · 30/06/2025 16:22

I’d just make a note of it for now and see if it’s an ongoing trend. If it is then I think you should raise it with him first and if that doesn’t help then make it formal. Keep a record.

NeedToChangeName · 30/06/2025 16:22

thestudio · 30/06/2025 16:09

I think it's really important to complain about this, and to use the phrase 'this comment creates a hostile environment for female employees' to HR and/or your higher manager if no HR.

Comments like these don't just have an impact at the moment that they're made - they effective become the fabric of the workplace. Your employer will be very aware that in tolerating this they make themselves liable.

Excellent advice

DiscoBob · 30/06/2025 16:21

That's revolting! I'm hoping the laughter was nervous rather than approving?
Did anyone say anything? Is this person like that a lot? I mean even if they're not it's grim.

I would make a complaint to HR. But maybe see what others on the call thought about it as well. If nobody else saw it as a problem then there's a wider issue going on with attitude and sexism.

limescale · 30/06/2025 16:20

The work place is NOT the place.
I work with a very informal bunch of people. At conferences we all go out and have a laugh. We tease each other etc. Not ever has anyone commented on the amount of flesh I am showing.

thenightsky · 30/06/2025 16:19

OhMehGoddess · 30/06/2025 15:46

Given what’s happened this year at my work, he would be suspended and fired as an outcome. They are red hot on anything just now.

What happened?

ClareBlue · 30/06/2025 16:17

Labelling people who didn't go along with this kind of 'banter' as prudes has been a tactic for years to minimise it. It's so ingrained that the OPs first reaction was, was she being prudish. Of course not. But it's always there, isn't it. Is it my reaction or feeling that is wrong, not is what was actually said wrong.

randomchap · 30/06/2025 16:17

Dartmoorcheffy · 30/06/2025 16:14

I would just reply with i was hoping the men would be coming in wearing shorts so I could admire their legs.

That's just lowering the bar.

He's a prick who needs to learn that sexism in the workplace is not acceptable

Dartmoorcheffy · 30/06/2025 16:14

I would just reply with i was hoping the men would be coming in wearing shorts so I could admire their legs.

Imaybeoldbutstillrandy · 30/06/2025 16:13

KellieMum3 · 30/06/2025 15:21

I recently moved teams at work, think big corporate company with a lot of middle managers. Team meeting (virtual) today. Manager was in the office - someone pointed out this isn’t his usual day to go in. His response was to say he checked the forecast and picked the day the most female flesh would be on display. Much laughter from some others on the call.

Am I being prudish or is that really not the time or place for such a comment?!

OMG this is such a sexist remark. Suggest you contact HR & call him out.

Passionfloweronthefence · 30/06/2025 16:12

JellyBellies · 30/06/2025 15:28

I would raise a complaint about that statement, completely unacceptable

This. That’s just not on.

Zanatdy · 30/06/2025 16:11

Inappropriate, especially from the manager.

Sana145 · 30/06/2025 16:10

OhMehGoddess · 30/06/2025 15:46

Given what’s happened this year at my work, he would be suspended and fired as an outcome. They are red hot on anything just now.

You are absolutely not being prudish that comment was inappropriate and unprofessional, full stop In a workplace setting, especially in a big corporate environment, a manager joking about “female flesh” is sexist, objectifying, and completely out of line. The fact that some people laughed doesn’t make it okay — it just shows how normalized these kinds of comments can be, which makes it harder for others to speak up
You’re right to feel uncomfortable. In fact, your instinct is the one rooted in respect and professionalism, not the manager’s behavior.l If it stuck with you, and especially if it made you or others feel uneasy, it’s worth considering Documenting it, just in case there’s a pattern
Speaking with HR or someone you trust if it happens again or gets worse.
Work should be a safe and respectful space and your reaction shows you value that. That’s not prudish that’s
just decent.

Disturbia81 · 30/06/2025 16:10

This is so gross but typical sadly.. they just don’t usually say it now. But I’ve heard enough comments from men that show they do plan journeys/look forward to summer knowing women will wear less, and how their sunglasses will hide the perving.

randomchap · 30/06/2025 16:09

Was the call recorded? Send it to hr if so.

It's not acceptable behaviour

ClareBlue · 30/06/2025 16:09

coxesorangepippin · 30/06/2025 16:06

And he's stupid enough to say it out loud

That's what I thought. We know there are plenty who think this, but if you have anything about you, you know not to say it in the workplace. Not a good graduate trainee for accelerated promotion if he doesn'teven get that.

thestudio · 30/06/2025 16:09

I think it's really important to complain about this, and to use the phrase 'this comment creates a hostile environment for female employees' to HR and/or your higher manager if no HR.

Comments like these don't just have an impact at the moment that they're made - they effective become the fabric of the workplace. Your employer will be very aware that in tolerating this they make themselves liable.

coxesorangepippin · 30/06/2025 16:06

And he's stupid enough to say it out loud

GonnaeNoDaeThatJustGonnaeNo · 30/06/2025 16:06

Not acceptable in the workplace at all. I’d complain

when you let the little stuff go it enables bigger stuff later

Bromptotoo · 30/06/2025 16:05

A while ago it might have been the sort of comment that somebody who knew all their team well might get away with or be shrugged of as it's just Dave.

Not acceptable now.

ClareBlue · 30/06/2025 16:05

So the new generation of make managers are just the same. Great.

EmeraldRoulette · 30/06/2025 16:05

KellieMum3 · 30/06/2025 16:02

He’s off a graduate scheme, appears to be following the ‘management handbook’ for all other matters, a bit annoying but I’ve given him the benefit of the doubt in terms of being new up until today. There are a few other younger colleagues and I expect he is playing up to them.

But the younger ones will hate it too. Urgh.

Vaxtable · 30/06/2025 16:04

That’s not ok and I am really surprised on the number of posters who would accept it

unless we challenge nothing will change.

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