To think that being estranged or no contact by choice really triggers something in people?

You see posts on mumsnet where people make out going no contact is a modern trend that people do at the drop of a hat.
It makes them seem really dim. Estrangement from family is a term that has been around for many years.
Lucky them that they don't know how awful and abusive some families can be.

I dunno... I have NC'd with my brother and I can see how much it hurts my mum because she loves us both equally. I don't know if deep down she knows it's him or thinks that I am equally to blame? Either way she doesn't let on, and although she brings it up less and less, I can tell it hurts her and that would be the only reason I might consider trying to fix it.

I'd probably feel the same if my DC were not on speaking terms as adults. It causes friction, awkwardness and can break the family unit.. I can see why my Mum would prefer it if we could get along.

What a terribly oversimplified view. How about people who believe in the family unit as part of their faith? Or people who feel morally compelled to help others regardless of how they are treated in return? Some people choose to live by deeply held principles, even if you may disagree with them.

You're wrong to assume everyone makes a choice based on being pushed or pulled in certain directions by others, or even by their own lack of strength. Sometimes people choose to stick with difficult things because they truly believe it's the right and morally just thing to do.

I think that people who have lovely family members would be at least somewhat understanding of those who don't.

I think the rest fall in various groups:

1. The have been carefully raised in a family and a culture where walking away from a toxic family is inconceivable. The thought never even occurred to them and they feel stuck
2. They are these toxic families members themselves and are worried people will get ideas
3. They need these scapegoats around as a buffer, lest they become the target of the abuse

Yes I think people who have grown up in a family where abuse/neglect/cruelty is absent often cannot get their heads around why some people might be no contact. If someone told me they were no contact with their family, I would assume they have a damn good reason as breaking those family bonds isn't easy, even if your family is dysfunctional. Having worked with children in the care system, I'm sadly no longer surprised at the horrors some children endure 😔

I think they fall into one of three groups

1 lucky enough to be surrounded by such lovely people that they genuinely cannot comprehend the level of toxicity required to get to the point of walking away but not empathetic enough to put themselves in the shoes of someone who has suffered

Or
2 have one or more total shits in their lives who makes thrm miserable but they lack the courage or ability for whatever reason to walk away so they lash out because they hate the fact they're stuck in a situation someone else walked away from.

Or
3 they are the sack of crap in their own circle and terrified by the thought their victims might walk away