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AIBU?

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Original poster

Is this a crazy idea?

270 replies

MattHandjob · 30/06/2025 10:17

We are a family of 4 DC aged 11 and 9.

My husband would like to sell our house and buy two, two bedroom flats.

The flats are next door to each other and he envisages us (me and him) living in one and the children living in the other.

This doesn't sit right with me for a few reasons, I feel like we would lose family time if they have their own living space, not being close in case of a fire, giving up on a freehold property to buy two leaseholds and the annual charge they involve.

Is this a wild idea, is it even legal to live in a seperate flat to your minor children?

Anyone done anything like this or similar? Any thing else I need to take into consideration?

OP posts:
wandererofthekingdom · 30/06/2025 17:26

Surely he means in the future like when they are in their 20s, he can't possible want to do this now? Of course that wouldn't be ok on any level!

Garbera · 30/06/2025 17:25

I mean obviously it's crazy.

Dividing your home into 2 separate flats one day, when the children are grown, might make more sense. At its heart it's just making sure there is a full bathroom on both floors, and installing a second kitchen upstairs.

Two flats next to each other could be a superb solution for divorced parents. But buying leasehold flats with any idea of knocking through or adults living apart from your kids? No, bonkers. And massive safeguarding issue to have children sleeping in a self contained flat with unsupervised access to the hob etc.

Ohtobemycat · 30/06/2025 17:23

Insane. Neglect and bonkers.
What if someone knocks at their door. What about waking up in the night. What about a fire. What about kitchen appliances, a trip or fall, and thats in either flat.
Sorry your husband is living jn a dream world 😂

mummydoorgirl · 30/06/2025 17:20

Good grief, if he wants to rent out you could do this by finding somewhere with an annexe or something that could be divided into flats later.
In reality any mortgage would be buy to let and that’s a different kettle of fish anyway so it doesn’t matter how old you are.
Its way too soon to be planning a retirement based on being landlords, goodness knows what the state of play will be in 10 years, the whole notion may be taxed beyond economic viability by then.

BeanQuisine · 30/06/2025 17:17

I'm sure the kids would love this idea, so you may be outvoted...😆

But yeah, not the wisest course of action.

Pherian · 30/06/2025 17:11

TreeDudette · 30/06/2025 16:35

We are buying a rental flat now for our teen. For various reasons her earning potential as an adult is likely to be limited and she wants to stay in our small village and me and DP want to move to the coast. We need to get her mortgage paid off asap so we can potentially move later unencumbered. She's 14 and very happy with her own company and we can see the flat from our front window - it's like 3 houses down. I'm assuming she'll be ready to move out 18+ and she certainly can't leave home before so am renting out the flat. Unless you could knock 2 flats through until the kids were old enough to leave home (18+) then your DHs idea is nuts.

In the U.K. children can leave home at 16 without parental consent.

Parents have responsibilities until the child is 18 though.

Pherian · 30/06/2025 17:07

MattHandjob · 30/06/2025 10:17

We are a family of 4 DC aged 11 and 9.

My husband would like to sell our house and buy two, two bedroom flats.

The flats are next door to each other and he envisages us (me and him) living in one and the children living in the other.

This doesn't sit right with me for a few reasons, I feel like we would lose family time if they have their own living space, not being close in case of a fire, giving up on a freehold property to buy two leaseholds and the annual charge they involve.

Is this a wild idea, is it even legal to live in a seperate flat to your minor children?

Anyone done anything like this or similar? Any thing else I need to take into consideration?

I think this arrangement could prompt safeguarding issues with the school which could potentially prompt involvement from authorities. You may also have issues with insuring the property.

This is completely bat shit.

Plumnora · 30/06/2025 17:06

I mean, if you actually went ahead and do this your kids will be taken off you and put into foster care quicker than you can unpack....

carly2803 · 30/06/2025 17:04

does he not like your children?

what a awful idea!! unless they are in their 20s - awful!

butterfly0404 · 30/06/2025 17:04

Is he on mind altering drugs ?

Threeboystwocatsandadog · 30/06/2025 17:04

limescale · 30/06/2025 10:57

....god I'd love this set up now though!

It's mostly me and DS (16) but DS (26) is coming home for a couple of weeks. I'd love them to do their bro thing in an entirely different property to our home!

We have a similar setup although not two separate properties. Dh and I live downstairs and the “children” live upstairs. It’s a fantastic arrangement. They can have their friends in without us even having to see them. They are completely responsible for their own bedrooms, bathroom and living room/office. I rarely venture up there. Unfortunately they don’t have a kitchen so collect their meals from ours but have a kettle etc. we communicate mostly by txt.

They are 30 and 19 though so that might make a difference.

Illprobsregretthis · 30/06/2025 17:03

Did you ask ChatGPT to write a post that would go viral on Mumsnet? If this isn’t a troll post, I’m astounded

Silvertulips · 30/06/2025 17:03

Shocking!!! A house would increase in value quicker than 2 flats

Buy a bigger house, downsize when necessary.

Hopefully your kids will move countries.

travelallthetime · 30/06/2025 17:01

i'll take things that aren't real for £100 bob

Boilingfrogatprimaryschool · 30/06/2025 16:58

MattHandjob · 30/06/2025 10:17

We are a family of 4 DC aged 11 and 9.

My husband would like to sell our house and buy two, two bedroom flats.

The flats are next door to each other and he envisages us (me and him) living in one and the children living in the other.

This doesn't sit right with me for a few reasons, I feel like we would lose family time if they have their own living space, not being close in case of a fire, giving up on a freehold property to buy two leaseholds and the annual charge they involve.

Is this a wild idea, is it even legal to live in a seperate flat to your minor children?

Anyone done anything like this or similar? Any thing else I need to take into consideration?

I've only heard of this being done once. I was in Uruguay about 20 years ago and a friend told me about their deceased neighbour, a German man and his wife, who arrived just after WW2. They build a house for themselves and another house at the bottom of the garden for their many children. So there is your precedence...

Hayley1256 · 30/06/2025 16:54

I'm not even sure why you need to ask the Internet this. You can't let a 9 and 11 year old live alone. This can't be a genuine thread surely

Sunshineandgrapefruit · 30/06/2025 16:54

Obviously bonkers! Impractical and dangerous. Is there a reason he doesn't want to live with his kids?

Frenchiex · 30/06/2025 16:52

This can’t be serious or legal

NoCyclingInTheUKforMe · 30/06/2025 16:52

This has to be the most stupid MN post of the day! Utterly ridiculous

HunnyPot · 30/06/2025 16:49

This is genuinely the most batshit thing I’ve seen on the internet!

Tiswa · 30/06/2025 16:46

This is an absolutely awful idea that is neglectful of course you cannot have 2 under 18 living in an apartment by themselves - how would insurance would, how would council tax work. And frankly it is irresponsible

i would report you

Wanttobefree2 · 30/06/2025 16:46

This is a joke, surely?

Suffolker · 30/06/2025 16:45

Of all the insane things I have read on here, this is up there with the very maddest.

terracelane23 · 30/06/2025 16:45

Is he serious? I can’t think of a reason to do this.

Jujujudo · 30/06/2025 16:45

I’d go live in one with the kids and he can go live in the other alone. Perfect arrangement for a selfish dick.