DH unable to cope with my MH menopausal struggles

You’re an adult. Your emotions may be all over the place but you don’t get to take that out on the family. Find better coping mechanisms.
I also can’t see how snapping is because you’re upset. It does sound like a short temper.

I also think it's deep misogyny for women themselves to say that they can't control their emotions or reactions when they're going through the menopause.

Quite clearly they can otherwise they'd be sacked at work for their behaviour. If you can control it at work, you can control it at home. It doesn't render you helpless and completely unable to control any reaction you have

I can’t see that OP has mentioned anger issues here, just being snappy which is a normal part of menopause and whilst not pleasant to be on the receiving end of, isn’t the end of the world.

OP try explaining to your DH what’s going on and give him some reading materials on menopause so he can try and understand what your body is going through and how it affects your state of mind. Ask for his support. If this is new, it’s normal for your partner to think it’s a dramatic personality change and to take it personally.

What did he say though? What makes you believe he thinks you're putting it on?

If you want and expect grace from others, then you need to give it back. Nit picking over a ‘politicians apology’ is probably not worth it.

You need to work on strategies for handling your MH, which could include as @Catladywithoutacat says walking away, or being clear that you won’t make decisions on abc, or talking therapies, etc.

What did you DH say?

I do sympathise because perimenopause sometimes makes me very short-tempered and intolerant with my DP and DD. The sense of frustration and irritation can be overwhelming and I sometimes have to go out for a walk just to get away from it.

At the same time, I think its incumbent on you to be mindful of how this can impact your loved ones. Peri/HRT isn't carte blanche to let fly all your pent up frustration and you do have a responsibility to not allow this to spill over into your relationships with everyone. It's not OK to just say "it's the menopause" but continue to be an arsehole. If its so bad you can't contain your anger you need to speak to the GP about your dose.

What triggers your anger?

My DP has OCD. He snaps at me an awful lot when something triggers it.

I am not a saint. My patience has limits. He cannot help what triggers him but he absolutely can help his reaction. I've told him to his face its for him to regulate his emotions well enough to not take it out on me.

It's no fun having MH issues and equally no fun being on the receiving end either.

when you start feeling that anger emotion walk away and don’t say anything, put some headphones on and play music. Tell your dh when you’re walking away to not follow you