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AIBU?

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Original poster

Disrespectful or socially unaware DH.

65 replies

whatisforteamum · 30/06/2025 05:11

Sunday afternoon I get home from a blisteringly hot busy shift that includes a couple of miles walk home.
Straight into a cool bath.The house is boiling so after a couple of sticky hours I decided to lie on my low sun lounger turned towards the left as I only have patterned top no bra and pj shorts on.
Fine it's cooler I can lie here and scroll on my phone.
DH who has had the day off comes out to water plants.Fine I said I would but he is doing it.
He then starts a conversation with the neighbour on the right causing the man to peak over as the fence he put in is six foot!!
I stay facing the other fence until I can sneak back in the patio door.
The thing is DH had already had chats with neighbour in the day.
When confronted DH said I could put a bikini on.
Am I'm being unreasonable to expect some privacy iny own garden.having worn a thick uniform all day.?

OP posts:
Noshadelamp · 30/06/2025 08:32

So dramatic.You were wearing a top?
There's no rules that say you have to wear a bra so it's not like you were inappropriately.dressed anyway. Is that the real issue?

StarlightLady · 30/06/2025 08:29

UnimatrixZeroOne · 30/06/2025 08:16

Shorts and top is not "under dressed".

Show quote history

This!

UnimatrixZeroOne · 30/06/2025 08:16

whatisforteamum · 30/06/2025 05:35

I just think there are times when you are allowed to be under dressed and left alone.

Shorts and top is not "under dressed".

helpfulperson · 30/06/2025 06:33

I dont think you can dictate when your husband talks to your neighbour. You were dressed and there was no expectation of you standing up and joining in. If I've read it right your lounger was also facing away.

StarlightLady · 30/06/2025 06:30

I don’t see an issue in being seen in what you were wearing. You were covered up.

In the warm weather, l sit in the garden topless, l mow the lawn topless. I can be seen by neighbours at a push if they struggle to look. Do you know what? It’s my garden and l don’t care,

Breathableflaps778 · 30/06/2025 06:10

Just have a firm word with your dh saying that you do not appreciate him initiating a conversation with your neighbour when you are resting after a busy shift and sitting bra-less in the garden and can he use his bonce a bit more! It’s a bit of a non issue. Just explain that it makes you feel really uncomfortable and could he please think a bit more before acting?

Unless your dh has form for embarrassing you deliberately, or treats you badly generally, this can be easily resolved can’t it?

Sorry op but only you can know if he was being deliberately disrespectful or not, not a load of strangers on the internet who have no context and no idea how he behaves generally. Is there more background to this than you are explaining?

OneCraftyCritic · 30/06/2025 05:54

Before you mentioned your husband, your story really made me feel all comfy and relaxed.

Zanatdy · 30/06/2025 05:44

To be fair to your DH, he can’t know if the neighbour is going to peer over the fence. It’s not a crime to chat to your neighbour and unreasonable for him to have to think, I better not start a conversation incase he peers over.

Original poster
whatisforteamum · 30/06/2025 05:35

I just think there are times when you are allowed to be under dressed and left alone.

OP posts:
TheSandgroper · 30/06/2025 05:27

I DO NOT wear a bra at home. Your DH is an idiot.

Throughahedgebackwards · 30/06/2025 05:22

No clue what the issue is here.

Shoxfordian · 30/06/2025 05:21

Its not like you were lying there naked. Don't really get the issue

Original poster
whatisforteamum · 30/06/2025 05:19

Maybe I'm a bit prudish nearing 60.🤣

OP posts:
Original poster
whatisforteamum · 30/06/2025 05:18

I didn't have a bra on and boxer pj bottoms.

OP posts:
OneCosyCrow · 30/06/2025 05:14

I don’t understand the issue. You were wearing a top and shorts and he said to put a bikini on?