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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To be annoyed at my neighbours for this?

263 replies

Amybelle88 · 29/06/2025 23:11

Perfectly open to hearing that I’m being unreasonable on this.

For background and context - I live on a new build estate that has 70 odd houses privately owned by a corporate landlord - the estate is marketed as a family estate, and is therefore mainly occupied by families with kids.

We are a family of 4 with 2 kids aged 8 and 9. They’re good kids. And I’m not just saying that cos I’m one of those knobhead mums who thinks her babies can do no wrong, they’re genuinely just sound kids.

Our house is a semi detached house - we’ve been here for 8 years and watched tenants come and go. Never had an issue with anyone, so much so the previous neighbour is now one of my best friends. I’m conscious of noise as new builds are notorious for being able to hear your neighbours do so much as fart, but I don’t hear them and according to my now friend, she never heard us, either.

We are relatively quiet people - we are in bed by 9, don’t drink or have parties, don’t play music loud - we don’t even watch TV really. Fully aware that we sound like boring bastards 😂 we’ve never had a problem with our current neighbours - polite hello when we see them etc. So as not to drip feed, my husband always said he thought they were a bit rude but I didn’t notice it as much - I just think some people are more private than others.

We have lots of green space and a massive field in front of our house - because of this, our kids rarely play in the garden and I don’t let them play football, mainly because these houses are mass produced fucking shoeboxes with a lot of them jammed into one place - if they were to kick the ball and hit the fence it is a noise nuisance for around 12 houses and not just our immediate neighbours. Nobody wants to hear a fence being twatted by a ball all day, whether they’ve got kids or not.

Today, they had a game of catch with their Dad and the ball went over the fence, so they asked could they knock at the neighbours and ask for it back, we said yes. They have done this one other time in the whole of the 18 months that they’ve been here - they were playing basketball and I now no longer allow them to play basketball because I don’t want the ball going over the fence.

The neighbour has given my kids down the banks and said they are making her life inconvenient by kicking the ball over.

It’s literally only happened once before and it was a long time ago - when my previous neighbours from any side of my fence managed to kick a ball over, which happened often, I’d just think nothing of it and just throw it back.

If my kids were doing this often and it was a consistent problem, I’d be the first to side with the neighbour, I’d be mortified that we were causing a problem for someone. My stance at the minute is I think she’s a bit of a rude dickhead.

My husband knocked and asked if she was ok as the kids said they’d been shouted at - she replied with “yes, they kicked the ball over, they always do it” to which my husband said “what? No they don’t, they’re just kids but it’s not a frequent issue either.” Neighbour replied with “so what?” - husband said “what do you mean so what? I’m just trying to have a conversation with you?” To which she huffed and puffed and went back in.

I get that kids frequently kicking a ball over into your garden would be a fucking pain in the arse, but this isn’t what’s happening here. We’ve knocked to see if there wa a genuine issue but got nowhere. She was a rude arsehole. I also think if there was a problem she should have spoke to me or my husband as we are the adults, rather than shout at my 8 and 9 year old who just asked for their ball back.

To be honest, my hormones are getting the better of me right now and I feel like getting all of the flat balls and lashing them over into her garden for her miserable face to stare at and feel inner rage at.

I often take parcels in for them - as I do for other neighbours - not particularly something that bothers me as it’s just neighbourly? Some big bastard fuck off parcels, too - which, in my tiny hall means we have to clamber over them until she gets off her high horse and comes to pick them up. But hey ho, they’re not there forever and I’m only being cunty about it now as she’s rattled my cage because not once have I moaned about that ‘inconvenience’. Not even when I was in the midst of shaving my gorilla legs and had to dive out of the bath soaking wet and looking like a fat tramp with half shaved legs to open the door to the dpd driver for more of her shit.

I’m not one of those parents who thinks that those who don’t have kids should have to put up with other peoples kids, cos truth be told, even though I’ve got kids, most other peoples kids annoy me. But a ball going over the fence really isn’t a big deal, is it?!

And surely, if you don’t want to deal with the potential issues kids bring, don’t move onto an estate marketed at families that is slap bang in the middle of three primary schools.

You know what, I’m still open to replies but after writing that I just think she’s a dick and next time I get a parcel for her I’m either a) gonna jump all over it b) throw it over the fence c) knock fuck out of her front door until she gets her arse out of bed to take delivery of her own shit.

Also can’t believe I’ve just spent so much time writing a post about a ball going over a fence, but here we are. Middle age creeps up fucking fast, I used to take mdma in Ibiza, now look at me.

PS I’m moving soon. Fuck that ho.

OP posts:
Suednymph · 30/06/2025 00:21

Having a sense of humour seems to be outdated a thing going on some of the responses.... jesus christ lads shes just having a rant and twice in 18 months the kids knocked its hardly from dusk till dawn.

Send DHL next time to collect the kids ball and some posters may be happier with that haha

NuffSaidSam · 30/06/2025 00:14

IchiNiSanShiGo · 30/06/2025 00:10

Honestly, this is so weird. Asking your neighbours for your ball back is no different than asking them to take a parcel for you. It’s not rude, it’s what we do as a friendly society.

If you’re in a really rough area then fine, don’t interact with your neighbour at all.

You shouldn't ask your neighbour to take a parcel in either!

If they're home and they can then they absolutely should, but you shouldn't be asking them to (unless they're also friends or it's an absolute one-off). In the same way, they should absolutely return any balls when they see them. They don't have to do it according to your timeline though.

Part of living in a friendly society is respecting other people's boundaries. You're not a more friendly person because you impose yourself on others.

Isanyonereallyanonymous · 30/06/2025 00:12

HarkerandBarker · 30/06/2025 00:09

I'll save the one about the Romanian Street dog for another night. I think everyone has fallen asleep already 😂

Noooo.
we need the Romanian street dog story.
then this thread can go off to classics because OP’s rant has made my day.

IchiNiSanShiGo · 30/06/2025 00:11

HarkerandBarker · 30/06/2025 00:09

I'll save the one about the Romanian Street dog for another night. I think everyone has fallen asleep already 😂

I’m still awake! So intrigued now 🤣

IchiNiSanShiGo · 30/06/2025 00:10

NuffSaidSam · 30/06/2025 00:02

Ten years younger than you.

When I was a kid we waited until the neighbours threw our balls back because it would have been rude to keep knocking on their door asking for it. We survived. Kids today will survive waiting a few hours to get their ball back. There is no need to knock and ask for it immediately.

Have a bit more respect for your neighbours.

Honestly, this is so weird. Asking your neighbours for your ball back is no different than asking them to take a parcel for you. It’s not rude, it’s what we do as a friendly society.

If you’re in a really rough area then fine, don’t interact with your neighbour at all.

HarkerandBarker · 30/06/2025 00:09

I'll save the one about the Romanian Street dog for another night. I think everyone has fallen asleep already 😂

HarkerandBarker · 30/06/2025 00:06

Amybelle88 · 30/06/2025 00:03

Game as a badger (praying I don’t fall asleep and everyone is like well OP is rude she asked about the Romanian street dog and fucked off)

I'd rather do it on a PM. My language won't be for the faint hearted 🤣

IchiNiSanShiGo · 30/06/2025 00:06

Amybelle88 · 30/06/2025 00:03

Game as a badger (praying I don’t fall asleep and everyone is like well OP is rude she asked about the Romanian street dog and fucked off)

I’ll take a bullet for you op and say I asked about the dog first. You get some rest and save yourself for the mammoth task of leg shaving if you need to xx

HarkerandBarker · 30/06/2025 00:04

NuffSaidSam · 30/06/2025 00:02

Ten years younger than you.

When I was a kid we waited until the neighbours threw our balls back because it would have been rude to keep knocking on their door asking for it. We survived. Kids today will survive waiting a few hours to get their ball back. There is no need to knock and ask for it immediately.

Have a bit more respect for your neighbours.

Well I'm 20 years older and it's not a big deal for a kid to ask for their ball back. Unless it's gone through someone's window 🤣🤣🤣

Amybelle88 · 30/06/2025 00:03

HarkerandBarker · 30/06/2025 00:00

Well ir will be a long night. If you're feeling up to it? 😅

Game as a badger (praying I don’t fall asleep and everyone is like well OP is rude she asked about the Romanian street dog and fucked off)

OP posts:
NuffSaidSam · 30/06/2025 00:02

IchiNiSanShiGo · 29/06/2025 23:59

I disagree. How old are you? I’m 47. When I was a kid, we’d knock on and get our ball back. No issues. Kids knock on now and ask for their ball back and we give it back. No problem.

Ten years younger than you.

When I was a kid we waited until the neighbours threw our balls back because it would have been rude to keep knocking on their door asking for it. We survived. Kids today will survive waiting a few hours to get their ball back. There is no need to knock and ask for it immediately.

Have a bit more respect for your neighbours.

HarkerandBarker · 30/06/2025 00:02

IchiNiSanShiGo · 30/06/2025 00:00

@Amybelle88

🤣🤣🤣🤣

IchiNiSanShiGo · 30/06/2025 00:01

HarkerandBarker · 30/06/2025 00:00

Well ir will be a long night. If you're feeling up to it? 😅

SO up for it 😂

IchiNiSanShiGo · 30/06/2025 00:00

Amybelle88 · 29/06/2025 23:58

Also want to learn about the Romanian street dog. This thread is evolving and I like it 😂😂

@Amybelle88

Confused Dog GIF by MOODMAN
HarkerandBarker · 30/06/2025 00:00

Amybelle88 · 29/06/2025 23:58

Also want to learn about the Romanian street dog. This thread is evolving and I like it 😂😂

Well ir will be a long night. If you're feeling up to it? 😅

Amybelle88 · 30/06/2025 00:00

NuffSaidSam · 29/06/2025 23:57

No, it's rude. You lose your ball in someone's garden, you wait for them to throw it back. That's just good manners.

I’m genuinely gonna take this on board. But then if it’s left would she be like “fucking cheeky fuckers just leaving their ball in my back garden?” Oh it’s a mine field. But I won’t allow the knocking again. To be fair, I only said yes because it’s not a regular occurrence and it was my sons new ball (his new pride and joy 🥴) but point completely taken 👏 although, I still don’t care if anyone knocks here for balls if any of my nice neighbours are here - come on down 👋 😂

OP posts:
IchiNiSanShiGo · 29/06/2025 23:59

NuffSaidSam · 29/06/2025 23:57

No, it's rude. You lose your ball in someone's garden, you wait for them to throw it back. That's just good manners.

I disagree. How old are you? I’m 47. When I was a kid, we’d knock on and get our ball back. No issues. Kids knock on now and ask for their ball back and we give it back. No problem.

HarkerandBarker · 29/06/2025 23:59

IchiNiSanShiGo · 29/06/2025 23:55

Also, the amount of people HORRIFIED by the concept of knocking on someone’s front door is mental. Kids knocking and asking for their ball back is a totally normal thing. It’s not a massive invasion of privacy, it’s not rude, it’s just a part of having neighbours.

Her neighbour is stuck so far up her own arse.
I'd love to have a considerate neighbour like OP!

Amybelle88 · 29/06/2025 23:58

Also want to learn about the Romanian street dog. This thread is evolving and I like it 😂😂

OP posts:
IchiNiSanShiGo · 29/06/2025 23:57

HarkerandBarker · 29/06/2025 23:53

I think your neighbour is an arsehole and trying to assert her authority. If other kids are kicking balls over her fence that's no reason to take it out on you! I get your frustration because I also have a new arsehole neighbour who I also take parcels in for. The only thing now is I don't tell her. I just wait for her to figure it out herself. Passive aggressive is the best approach when dealing with nasty unyielding people! You PM me anytime! I have so much more shit I could tell you about her and her Romanian aggressive street dog she adopted!

Ok, I need to know about the Romanian street dog. Tell us please!

NuffSaidSam · 29/06/2025 23:57

IchiNiSanShiGo · 29/06/2025 23:55

Also, the amount of people HORRIFIED by the concept of knocking on someone’s front door is mental. Kids knocking and asking for their ball back is a totally normal thing. It’s not a massive invasion of privacy, it’s not rude, it’s just a part of having neighbours.

No, it's rude. You lose your ball in someone's garden, you wait for them to throw it back. That's just good manners.

IchiNiSanShiGo · 29/06/2025 23:55

Also, the amount of people HORRIFIED by the concept of knocking on someone’s front door is mental. Kids knocking and asking for their ball back is a totally normal thing. It’s not a massive invasion of privacy, it’s not rude, it’s just a part of having neighbours.

NuffSaidSam · 29/06/2025 23:55

Amybelle88 · 29/06/2025 23:46

I’ll take this on board, kids have knocked at mine before it genuinely doesn’t bother me. But I’ll remember this in future.

I’ll also remind her that her bastard parcels spoil my peace when she doesn’t answer her door for them.

Tbf I absolutely wouldn't be jumping out of the bath to take her parcels in either.

If and when it's convenient to me I will both take parcels in and throw balls back. I'm not doing it according to someone else's schedule and I shouldn't be expected to.

It's not convenient to have kids knocking at the door when I'm in the bath. Or having a shit. Or having dinner. Or putting the baby down for a nap. Or working. Or on the phone. Or just sitting down. They'll get them back as soon as I see them and can get out into the garden.

Amybelle88 · 29/06/2025 23:55

pharmer · 29/06/2025 23:51

You could have asked this in 3 sentences.

It’s been a slow evening.

OP posts:
HarkerandBarker · 29/06/2025 23:53

I think your neighbour is an arsehole and trying to assert her authority. If other kids are kicking balls over her fence that's no reason to take it out on you! I get your frustration because I also have a new arsehole neighbour who I also take parcels in for. The only thing now is I don't tell her. I just wait for her to figure it out herself. Passive aggressive is the best approach when dealing with nasty unyielding people! You PM me anytime! I have so much more shit I could tell you about her and her Romanian aggressive street dog she adopted!

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