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Original poster

Does your DH hate when family visit?

194 replies

Justwanttobehappyx · 29/06/2025 21:39

I live an hour away from my mum I usually see her once a month and she will stay for 3 days or so. However since my brother has moved nearer to us and I’ve needed the extra support as he is going through a lot of stuff she has been coming up every two weeks.

DH would always moan when she visited once a month and now it’s every two weeks he’s even worse. It just makes me so miserable i feel so stuck as he never wants her here but I need her help with my brother.

is your DH like this? Or would he in this situation. It’s making me miserable and I love spending time with mum too. She helps out with the kids & chores it takes some stress of me.

OP posts:
SilviaSnuffleBum · 29/06/2025 22:01

I'm Team DP.

Moveoverdarlin · 29/06/2025 22:01

Been married twenty years. My in-laws stayed the night once about 12 years ago. Never again. It’s an hour and a half journey - piece of piss to do in one day. They did it until they were about 82. We just go to them now. Couldn’t cope with three days.

Jigaliga · 29/06/2025 21:59

Wouldn't it make more sense for your brother to move into a one bed and for your mum to stay on his couch?

BarnOwlFlying · 29/06/2025 21:57

1 hours drive is nothing! People do that and more for daily work commutes.
Your mum can pop round for a short visit.
I’m totally team husband.

Uifpdjjjj · 29/06/2025 21:57

No my DH doesn’t ever moan when my family stay, nor when we travel to see them. He often encourages me to book flights so they can come to visit soon.

DelilahBucket · 29/06/2025 21:57

A one hour drive is too much for her to do twice in one day or even two days, so she has to stay three? Seriously? That would really piss me off. My parents in law are a 55 minute drive away without traffic. If do my absolute nut if they were staying here three plus days every fortnight. Totally unnecessary.

Picklechicken · 29/06/2025 21:56

What’s the situation with your brother? Does he have additional needs, why is she helping so much?

I used to absolutely hate my MIL and there’s no way I could cope with her staying nearly a week every month, sorry.

Gymmum82 · 29/06/2025 21:55

Wait so you’re driving and picking her up and taking her home again? Why can’t she drive herself or take public
transport?

Why has your brother moved when he’s not self sufficient?
Sorry I’d be with your husband too. I couldn’t cope with my own family
in my home for that amount of time. Nevermind the inlaws. It’s just too much.

neilyoungismyhero · 29/06/2025 21:55

I'm team husband on this one. Who wants their MIL staying every fortnight..much too intrusive.

ultraviolet4753 · 29/06/2025 21:53

Why does your brother need so much help from you and your mum, and what sort of help? You may qualify for carers allowance

Zanatdy · 29/06/2025 21:51

It’s a lot so understand why he finds it too much. I personally would find that frequent a visit a bit too much.

Original poster
Justwanttobehappyx · 29/06/2025 21:51

Jigaliga · 29/06/2025 21:49

Id be pissed off if I were your dp

So I am being unreasonable? 😂

It’s so difficult it’s not forever it’s just until my brother gets better really. I need another family to share the mental load as DH couldn’t give a crap.

OP posts:
Jigaliga · 29/06/2025 21:49

Id be pissed off if I were your dp

Original poster
Justwanttobehappyx · 29/06/2025 21:48

ultraviolet4753 · 29/06/2025 21:47

She's staying in your house for 1 week a month then? It's a bit much to have someone in your space that long?

Why isn't she staying with your brother and helping him?

Brothers in a house share.

OP posts:
ultraviolet4753 · 29/06/2025 21:47

She's staying in your house for 1 week a month then? It's a bit much to have someone in your space that long?

Why isn't she staying with your brother and helping him?

Original poster
Justwanttobehappyx · 29/06/2025 21:47

Outrageistheopiateofthemasses · 29/06/2025 21:44

He is being unreasonable if he is making either of you feel uncomfortable. However he is entitled to have his own limit. Can you alternate with going to see her? Or is it too much hassle to move brother and kids for a monthly visit?

Thr hour drive is exhausting as it’s M6 always standstill traffic so always end up taking longer and I’d have to drive down up down and back up again.

Where mum lives aswell it’s a 55+ place it’s tiny and doesn’t comfortably fit us all in it doesn’t make sense

OP posts:
LettingyougoMovingOn · 29/06/2025 21:46

Three days is too long in one go for most people

Outrageistheopiateofthemasses · 29/06/2025 21:44

He is being unreasonable if he is making either of you feel uncomfortable. However he is entitled to have his own limit. Can you alternate with going to see her? Or is it too much hassle to move brother and kids for a monthly visit?

Cowparsley1 · 29/06/2025 21:42

My only comment would be why does she need to stay for 3 days for an hour’s journey? She can just come and go back in a day? Or just stay for 1 night so she’s there for 2 days. Having a guests for 3 days every fortnight is too much IMO so I’m not surprised he’s getting annoyed.