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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To be annoyed DH used dishcloth to wipe babies face?

433 replies

namechangesafe · 29/06/2025 21:16

NC I don’t want this post linked to others.

Just had a bit of a disagreement with DH and wondering if I’m being unreasonable here.

Our baby, three months old, was sick down his chin and on his bouncer and DH grabbed the dishcloth that was sitting by the kitchen sink to wipe it from baby’s face and mouth. I said “are you really using a dishcloth?” and he said yes. When I asked would he use one on his own face, he said yes he’d use it on his own face (so what’s the problem, in other words).

The cloth was taken from our washing up bowl, and the cloths I had recently bleached yesterday. It was a microfibre cloth and DH uses these cloths to wipe up mess from the floor, we use them to wipe the sides and wash dishes.

AIBU or am I being a bit too precious about this?

Another example, he often picks baby up by both arms, did it this morning to take him out the bath and carry him two metres across the room and he keeps doing it, just another example of things he does that I don’t agree with.

Whenever I point things out to him he instead gets defensive and says “don’t tell me how to parent DC.” When he points things out to me I change what I’m doing, because my goal is just to want the best for DC but he thinks my safety concerns are silly and trying to wrap him in cotton wool.

Generally we are struggling with our newborn to be on the same page with safety concerns and I’m feeling very stuck and isolated as he will not respect my wishes when I call things out.

I’m really struggling.

OP posts:
namechangesafe · 29/06/2025 21:21

@MidnightPatroltried it, his response is that when DC are in his care he can parent how he sees fit and when DC are my care he will also leave me to it. And that’s that.

OP posts:
Tinkerbellflowers · 29/06/2025 21:20

Im with you. Using a dishcloth to wipe a three month old baby is horrible. And lifting a baby up by their arms is dangerous.

MidnightPatrol · 29/06/2025 21:20

IMO this is gross as you use it to clean dishes.

I wouldn’t want something used to clean someone’s face then used on the dishes.

Nor tbh do I particularly like the idea of something used on dishes then used on my face!

We have some called ‘cheeky wipes’ which we use for face and hands in the kitchen, that you can then wash.

On the other points… you need to have a discussion when not related to a specific incident, explaining that you’re both learning and need to be able to discuss how to raise your DC / what behaviour you are both comfortable with.

namechangesafe · 29/06/2025 21:20

Because it’s a baby and hence why bottles are sterilised etc, it’s different for my own dishes because my immune system is much stronger @Wolfpa

OP posts:
Rachie1973 · 29/06/2025 21:20

It’s not perfect but it’s not the worst thing I’ve heard.

Wolfpa · 29/06/2025 21:19

If the cloth is good enough for your dishes why is it not good enough for a face?

Confrontayshunme · 29/06/2025 21:18

YABU your baby will be fine. It isn't the ideal (a clean face only cloth) but it isn't the worst either (IE neglect). Let him parent or you will find yourself doing it all alone.

Springadorable · 29/06/2025 21:18

I find it weirder to use a cloth that you use on the floor on your dishes. So with the context provided, while I wouldn't use that cloth, it doesn't seem unreasonable given the other things it's used on.

Totally with you with the arm thing though. Babies and young children need supporting around their body, their joints aren't up to that sort of tension.