To be annoyed DH used dishcloth to wipe babies face?

I’m not even suggesting that you leave because he’d have rights to seeing baby and he’s clearly a risk. But you should deffo talk to women’s aid, talk to the GP and health visitor. Then tell him he needs to stop doing harmful things and if he doesn’t then you should refer him to SS and leave

OP seriously if I said put a blanket on our kids if my husband disagreed he may grumble but he would do it (or he would say actually it’s 30 degrees out no need) but no way in fuck would it become a big battle and I would refuse to back down if it did!

So sorry didn’t read all your posts 😢

Apparently my grandma used to do something similar to me 😂 good news is I’m still alive 40 years later !

You have to call out everything if your babies health and comfort are compromised!! You have to!

But why did he let that become a battle? Why was he refusing to the point it became a big deal? His behaviour seems just really abusive and controlling but you’ve convinced yourself that it’s your fault. Most couples have these discussions and learn to pick their battles with a bit give and take. But what allowances has he made for your comfort. My hormonal wife weeks after giving birth wants baby to have a blanket - yeah fine pass me the blanket. No fight necessary

I remember your horrific crying in a dark room post. Your husband is abusive and is now physically harming your baby and gaslighting you. You need help to leave, you are already doubting your own sanity.

OP, I remember your previous thread. I think this man is a danger to your baby and had messed with your head to the extent that you’ve lost faith in your own instincts. Please talk to your health visit and GP, and women’s aid.

Handling a newborn like that makes me wonder how else he is handling the baby. This is shocking

This is so troubling. Now you are having to walk on eggshells and compromise on babies safety and comfort to protect a grown man’s feelings. Really?

Also they don’t recommend couples counselling for emotional abuse because the emotional abuser will use it to further victimize their victim. This is a huge red flag that he did exactly that.

This thread is insane. I’m at a loss for words but I have to comment

There are videos that talk of what can happen to babies arms if pulled. Show him one. Keywords nursemaids elbow..their arms dislocate.

Tbh, this man wouldn’t even be near my newborn because he is dangerous and arrogant and I’m honestly scared for your child that you see this as minor.

He’s playing games with you, your baby is a pawn

Just to add - it’s so important that you tell your health visitor, gp and other professionals about your husbands behaviour towards your child so it’s on record. And if you have text messages where he’s doing things like urging you to put your tiny baby in nursery for no good reason, keep them. You may need that evidence to show how unsafe he is in the future.

Agree.

Wiping the baby’s face with a dirty dishcloth is disgusting. No he absolutely would not wipe his own face with one, regardless of his claims to the contrary.

Picking the baby up as you have described is not only shocking, it is dangerous. A 10 year old child would instinctively know not to do that.

You parenting on your own sounds like the absolute best case scenario for both your baby and you.

My dd got nursemaids elbow by dh and ds swinging her when she was 2. Luckily opposite a hospital where they clicked it straight back. They said not till she’s 5 are they strong enough to swing.
3 months is not ok he needs to get over himself.

You have got to get over this people pleasing pick your battles bullshit. No anytime your baby is at risk you say something! Stop worrying about morons feelings and think about your baby first always. But in this case why didn’t you put a blanket on baby?

I don’t know if there’s any point saying this again but you need to stop worrying about your relationship, and worry about your baby. Listen to your instincts and think of the happy future you can have if you can look after your baby they way they need to be looked after. And compare that to a future where your child is emotionally and possibly physically damaged because you didn’t prioritise their safety and security over trying to appease your husband.

His best is wiping his child’s face with a dirty cloth and risking his arms and elbows dislocating. It’s NOT good enough. And then he whines and bitches if anything is said.

Lifting your baby this way is very dangerous and could cause serious harm to your baby. Look up Nursemaids Elbow and show your partner what could happen your poor baby lifting them this way.

Listen OP you’re clearly a good mum or you wouldn’t be bothering to post here about any of this. Don’t beat yourself up about not having reacted strongly to the arms thing. Your heads all over the place with hormones and your husbands behaviour and most of all you’re only THREE MONTHS into being a mum. Like everyone at that stage, you’re learning.

I don’t think your husband is necessarily deliberately causing harm, but he does clearly lack a protective instinct towards his child (especially if he is also the man who left the baby crying in a dark room, as i suspect he is). Unfortunately that makes him dangerous and you need to, at the very least, prevent him from solo parenting while you think about next moves.

Well I’d have called out both. But then if your husband is being dangerous then it’s what he gets. I would t be doing with any of this pick your battles bullshit, no if you are being dangerous with my baby I will say something.