Relatives living with us - no jobs

I think you opened yourself wide up to this OP the moment you opened the door of your home to them with free board, and showed them a fridge full of luxury foods! I would sit them down, say they have to start contributing as you can no longer afford to financially support them, and have a week on basic rations to prove a point. Have your chocolate/smoked salmon at work and find your backbone.

Im sorry their lifestyle is difficult back home and I would’ve had sympathy if they’d shown willingness to craft. But the way they are taking advantage of your hospitality is truly shocking!

I wouldn’t dream of eating your expensive stuff as a guest! What a cheeky people.

@BunnyVV ah I wasn’t thinking about you not being UK based - my bad!! Their attitude sucks , tell them to bugger off , it’s clear they have no intention of paying their way or they don’t have the skills/language to actually get work in your country or they only want something that ‘suits’

How old are they?

It can't be so bad if they've treated your hospitality so poorly and are turning down work so send them back.

Stop cooking for them. Just for your immediate family.

My thoughts exactly. You need to care more what your dc and husband are feeling and thinking rather than these freeloaders.

@BunnyVV what are we talking OP? niece and nephew? aunt and uncle? mum and dad?? distant cousins twice removed (whatever that might be)!

Less smoked salmon in the fridge and more basics from Asda and Lidl for a few weeks. Especially ones with an "oops" label on.

That was my first thought - are they British? They can’t just come here and get jobs without appropriate visas- it doesn’t work like that -

Tell them that after 10 weeks you can only conclude that they’re highly unlikely to secure the type of employment they want and because it’s clear they don’t want to take on other work as suggested, like bar work, they should make arrangements to return home. Say they are welcome to stay for 2 weeks which will take it up to 3 months but they need to be gone by the 13th. Add that financially it’s been difficult to fund their expensive tastes so unfortunately there will be more limited food available for those two weeks.

Ah, that’s tough.

how have they come to be guests of yours? What have you told them?

a new conversation is needed. Whether they should already know, or not (they should), they’ve outstayed their welcome.
so it’s down to you to ask them to leave, or tell them the new rules.

I think this would be my approach too. I'd say something like; you have been here for almost three months and you still haven't found any work so it's clearly not working out. You should probably head back home and make a new plan as I can't afford to house you for much longer.

That will either give them a kick up their arses to take just any job asap or they will indeded return home. Either way, you should know within a week or two.

I wouldnt even say they need to find a job, 10 weeks in Nd they've refused jobs offered means they're taking the piss and need to sod off back home, no ifs ands or buts, they have to go, tomorrow hopefully.

Can you get a small fridge for your bedroom ?

The problem is that when they start working then they will have to move out so there really isn’t any incentive.

Absolutely you should not have to hide your food, cheeky fuckers I am aghast that they eat all your treats without shame

They need to go home and re think. You didn't say whether they were your relatives or your husband's? It's also not fair on your kids to have their home over crowded, particularly in the summer holidays when they are more likely to be at home.

They are taking you for a ride, I would 100% ask them to leave. Now!

Why have they come to live in your country with no work lined up or no savings to sustain them? They have been very irresponsible and you have been quite naive to allow this.
Are you in the UK? Do they have work visas? I'd want to check they are actually able to work and haven't just come with the intention of leaching off you forever.

Can they work here without a visa? Maybe they are British I don't know.

It always baffles me how such people never seem to be embarrassed or feel awkward about leeching off someone else. Must be they feel entitled to take advantage of the good nature of others.

It isn't easy OP, but I think you have to bite the bullet and get your home back. Give a time limit and then out they go, changing locks if necessary or some other method of keeping them out. Redecorate, move the beds, whatever it takes. They won't be shamed into leaving, so you are going to have to be tough here I think.

How did they get visas or work permits without work?

How have they even managed to come and work here from abroad- surely they would need a job lined up to come here? Or are they Uk citizens in which case can they claim any benefits whilst they look for work?

“it’s been 10 weeks.”

OP, I would be going berserk - that’s FAR too long. They are Cf’s who have got their feet under your table. Of course they don’t want an uncongenial job when they have hot and cold running everything, including smoked salmon, alcohol, and good chocolate at yours. You are going to HAVE to issue them with an ultimatum, no matter how uncomfortable that might be - and stick to it. Nobody freeloads at someone else’s house for ten weeks - it’s outrageous behaviour. You say, “I assumed they’d be gone 40 hours a week working.” - does that mean the arrangement is that they live with you forever more? If so, you need a re-think - either that, or resign yourself never to eating smoked salmon again. Frankly, OP, I don’t know how you stand it.