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AIBU?

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AIBU to end relationship over this?

39 replies

Positivevibes01 · 29/06/2025 18:23

Feel like I may be acting a little dramatic but at the same time feel as though I'm also being gaslit into being the unreasonable person.
My partner and I have different sex drives. He would happily have it 3-4 times a week whereas I am happy to have weekly, sometimes longer between. But it's never usually longer than 2 weeks.
However, this week I have been feeling very tired and exhausted (due to the heat but also Diabetes - recently changed meds and it's making me fatigued) so after working all week, I ended up sleeping in on Sat morning until 11.30am which I never, ever do.
When I woke up, partner in a mood, says he's fine but it's because I said I'd give him some Friday night but ended up going to bed as I was exhausted. We went out Saturday running errands and when we got back I had a nap. Fast forward to today, I had a friend coming over at 11am and he knew this, however was trying it on around 10am even though I said repeatedly that I was still exhausted and needed to get ready for friend coming over. He accepted it after asking a million times but again, in a mood.
He's working away all next week so was saying how he wasn't going to see me and did I not want to be intimate with him. I explained I wasn't because I didnt want to, it was because I'm so exhausted and too hot and bothered due to the weather (my meds also increase my body temp). He then sends me an Instagram video of someone talking about how people make time for those who they want to and that you shouldn't have to force someone to care or love you, which has left me feeling absolutely shit and like I'm in the wrong.
I just feel put down and like he's being selfish for putting it on me when he's seen how much I've struggled this week and how fatigued I am.
I also do see his side and know he has needs, and maybe I'm not meeting his expectations?

OP posts:
Katemax82 · 29/06/2025 18:57

Ps never promise you will do it, in case you don't want to when the time comes

Katemax82 · 29/06/2025 18:55

Christ is your partner my husband?

Namechangetry · 29/06/2025 18:54

Oh wait is this the one who said he may as well just take what he wants from you and called you a fat cunt? Do you need to be told to bin him again or have you found another gross women hating prick since?

BigFattyBoomBoom · 29/06/2025 18:50

God there is nothing worse than being 'pestered' into sex.

Firstly, when will men get it that its the least sexy thing ever, and that pestering is actually a massive fucking turn off, and will not get you what you want.

Second to pestering is men who bloody sulk like babies when they don't get their leg over.

Dickheads 😠

Crikeyalmighty · 29/06/2025 18:47

It’s not ‘needs’ its ‘wants’ - it’s meant to be mutual enjoyment, not you ‘giving him some’ and I certainly wouldn’t be enjoying it with this sex pest who seems to think you are there on tap to service his wants

Namechangetry · 29/06/2025 18:45

I said I'd give him some

You don't have sex with someone as a present. Anyone who wants to have sex with you, knowing you're not into it, is not someone you should have sex with.

Arlanymor · 29/06/2025 18:37

His behaviour is gross.

IhadaStripeyDeckchair · 29/06/2025 18:30

He doesn't respect that you have medical issues affecting all aspects of your life at the moment.
He doesn't respect your "No" and pesters for sex.
He send emotive manipulative videos to you to coerce you into having sex with him.

He's a sex pest.
He wants you so he can have sex.
He considers his need for sex more important than anything else.

That's gross.
My advice is to end it and move on.
Hell never improve, he'll only get worse.

I'm sorry 💐 it's tough when you realise someone you care about doesn't care about you in the same way.

Havetheweekendoffreports · 29/06/2025 18:29

Op just read your last threads

this is a loveless and thoroughly awful relationship almost from the get go

DeniseSecunda1 · 29/06/2025 18:27

He is a selfish prick, OP. He clearly thinks of you (and probably all women) as “required” to satisfy the “needs” ( big eye roll there) of men. I think this is a red flag. If you never wanted sex and this was happening aaaaaaall the time, then sure, it’s reasonable to talk about the problems in your sex life, but this sounds like a one-off. He should grow the hell up.

LostThePlotEncore · 29/06/2025 18:27

This is really unattractive and would put me right off.

BCBird · 29/06/2025 18:26

He shouldn't be pressuring you into sex.

Havetheweekendoffreports · 29/06/2025 18:26

Gross

how long have you been together?

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