DP comment to his friend about sex worker, would alarm bells be ringing

I'm not defending it, but factually he has a point that there are people (mostly women, but men also) who choose to make money through offering sex, and who aren't being controlled/ exploited by a 3rd party

It doesn't take a 3rd party for it to be exploitation. I don't believe any woman does it from free choice. I can believe they do it as a way to make money but if you need money it's no longer a free choice. In which case it's the punter exploiting their lack of choice. Or perceived lack of choice.

Well I would hope not given that you describe the women in those clubs as being exploited.

😂😂
I was a young chap, travelling, working odd jobs and trying to write a book, while living off not very much money. I merely observed what was going on, and asked friends and colleagues about it. Just an inquisitive mind, asking questions.
The wives tended to stay back in restaurants while the men went off to wherever.
Even if I'd had the money, it wouldn't have been for me.

Well hopefully you werent too excluded whilst living over there if you describe it as being the routine that men over there visited exploitative (your words) strip/sex clubs. Did you enjoy a good natter with the wives over the washing up 😆

No, not my scene. 👍

And did you enjoy the fun too?

Well, they knew where they were going,and what sort of place it was.
I'm sure couples had their own conversations and agreements/rules about how they expected their partners to comport themselves.
[edited to revise content]

And were the wives aware their husbands were going there for sex?

Well, I was playing it down, tbh. Some of those clubs served a dual purpose.
But my main point was about the fact that some people choose to be 'providers'.
(for clarity, I'm talking about the UK context, not the strip clubs abroad - those were most definitely exploitative).

Yes of course that's true in some cases.

Not sure you can compare visiting a strip club to having sex with a prostitute so not sure your point there?

I'm not defending it, but factually he has a point that there are people (mostly women, but men also) who choose to make money through offering sex, and who aren't being controlled/ exploited by a 3rd party.
There were reports/studies etc after student loans came in about the numbers turning to stripping /prostitution to finance their way through uni.
So it can happen without the imagined pimp/controlling thug etc.
I also lived abroad for some years, (European country) where it wasn't unusual for all the middle class men at a big dinner or gathering to de-camp to a strip club while their wives stayed behind and had a natter. It was routine, tbh.

ditch your DP and consider shacking up with him

Worst advice ever.

Your DP believes you can buy consent

I don't agree with it, but you can purchase consent. Have you not seen what girls are doing on OnlyFans?

'Not sure what to make of it to be honest'

Yes you are. You're really going to pretend you're 'not sure what to make of it'?

Why aren't you sure? Could it be more obvious what he is?

If you like him give his friend a call and tell him you find yourself unexpectedly back on the market.

On your first post he sounded like a sleaze, your second post tells me he’s an utter moron.

@Lauren887 I would just be wondering why his mind would have went there in the first place. Fair enough making a quick joke about hiring a girlfriend for a day or something but to go into a bit of detail about prostitution and almost giving advice to his friend about it. Do you like that he would speak like that/think like that?

He said he misses elements of being in a relationship, companionship on a weekend etc.

Doesn't sound like your DP read the room at all. It's not like the friend was saying 'I don't even miss her, she was a cow, but damn I miss having sex whenever I want'. From what you've said, the friend was sad about being part of a couple and that aspect of the loss - nothing or little to do with sex.

It's almost like your DP couldn't get his head around missing being in a relationship if he was single, and he'd only miss the readily available sex. I'd look at him differently after this and what he saw me as (or my 'function' as) in the relationship tbh.

Is he generally a bit thick that he needs to mansplain the ‘oldest profession in the book’ any ‘middle aged man would know’.

What do these middle aged men know that’s not bleedin’ obvious to everyone?

You’ve got DC, why would you expose them to this sort of attitude? I would bet he’s not having this conversation in front of them but 💯 has other misogynistic comments that spill out.

Yep. A staunch champion of female empowerment.

Good grief. He's obviously a cunt, love. I wouldn't believe him.

You'd be unreasonable not to be repulsed. It's not just gross, it stupid. Because a sex worker is from the UK does not mean she hasn't been exploited.
It's also worrying that he's come up with these shoddy rationalizations. One can only assume he did so for his own purposes.

It looks like you want to believe him. Ha. If you would not stay with a man who sees/has seen/ will see prostitutes, I'd be breaking up right now, before there are kids or further commitments.

This.
Sleaze.

Just saw you haven’t been together long and don’t live together - would be throwing this one back.

Walking red flag 🚩

Repulsive yes.

I would have total ick after this.

Has he never said anything like this before?