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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To wonder what ‘living as a woman’ means?

59 replies

Stressmode · 29/06/2025 16:59

I don’t think I ‘live as a woman’. I only wear men’s clothes, for work and at home. Don’t own makeup or any woman specific items. Hobbies are motorbikes and wood work. My job is in a traditionally male industry. I am the only woman on the team. I know I am genetically a woman. I have a womb and have given birth to a kid. My name is androgynous sounding. It is the name my parents picked for me.

Non of how I am is a sex thing, or an identity thing. I just like practicality and comfort.

I am constantly mistaken for a man. I get challenged about using womens toilets. I am nearly 6 foot tall. A lot of the time I enjoy male privilege. For example I can go running at night with worrying.

What does it mean to ‘live as a woman’? If I say I am a woman, is that enough? Why is it that men have to become a caricature of a woman to live as one?

Genuinely confused by this…

OP posts:
Pollqueen · 29/06/2025 17:20

You don't need to live as a woman or a man, you just are. It's a state of being, not living

ginasevern · 29/06/2025 17:17

Despite all the shit and discrimination, I like being a woman. I hope I'm not reincarnated as a man.

Jujujudo · 29/06/2025 17:16

If someone who isn’t a biological female then they can only pretend to be a woman, which is appropriation and enforces stereotypes. It is a fantasy. Women are diverse and are. That’s it. Only women can live as women.

murasaki · 29/06/2025 17:14

Dp was doing exactly the same as me re the TV, clothing and make up bit. Oddly we can totally tell who is male and who is female.

grafittiartist · 29/06/2025 17:12

Agreed. This isn’t my choice- I just got this body. I shall always refuse to live up to the stereotypes and expectations placed on my sex.

murasaki · 29/06/2025 17:09

Well today it's meant watching UK's strongest man while wearing shorts, a t shirt and no make up and drinking a beer.

I did do the laundry though, so maybe that counts.

It's just being a human adult female, which no man can be how ever much he wants to.

RinklyRomaine · 29/06/2025 17:06

Of course not. The only way to ‘live as a woman’ is to be one. The men who say they identify as women are at best identifying, as their idea of femininity. They cannot live as a woman because they are men.

Theresyoursalad · 29/06/2025 17:06

The only way to live as a woman, is to be an adult female human being. Regardless of what you wear, what you call yourself, who you sleep with, it's all irrelevant.

No male person lives as a woman and never can.

NeedToChangeName · 29/06/2025 17:04

I agree that gender ideology is regressive cos it reinforces stereotypes, but I'll wager you know fine well that "living as a woman" = a man in a frock, calling himself Sally