AIBU to expect my friend to change holiday plans?

I would have just told my friend that I would now be coming on the Friday night and staying until Monday. It presumably doesn't affect her travel plans at all. If she's one of those people who won't go anywhere on her own then that's her problem.

How do you know they can do that?

I know it’s not what you asked, but doing scuba diving when neither of you are strong swimmers doesn’t sound ideal to me, are you having lessons? I know you can meet the minimum requirement…. But it’s the minimum requirement. I’m not a great swimmer and 200m is 5/6 minutes swimming, I know you won’t be swimming all day non stop but an 8 hour course is a lot with just being able to swim 6 minutes isn’t it?

Im surprised to find out they are adamant we stick to the earlier plan.

What do you mean 'earlier' plan. It's just 'the plan' isn't it? You have made a plan together and you are trying to change it!

Your husband and other child can go to the event, you don't need to. Stick to the plan.

Doing a weekend thing where you’re home on the Sunday is completely different to coming home on Monday night. Are you expecting her to take a day off work so that you can go to your sons event?

I think I’d be pissed off with you too.

What was her reason for not wanting to move it? I would have no issue if I could rearrange my plans if any or could get annual leave on the Monday. If she is just being stubborn or refusing to be flexible that would annoy me.

Was there any reason from your friend about why she didn't m

Sorry, but YABU. You are basically telling your friend that you know you had planns, but sonething better has come up.
It's tough for your son, but his Dad will be there. I'm sure he'd like you there, but it's not essential.

YABU. I wouldn’t be changing plans for an award ceremony. Your son will have his other parent and sibling there it’s not as if he’s being left there alone with no support.

It is healthy for children to see that their parents are not just solely there to revolve around them. They have their own independent lives and plans as well.

Your friend could have booked childcare, pet care, time off work, changed other plans to fit this in etc. It’s a hassle to change some plans and especially when it’s for such a non reason such as an award ceremony.

I’d be a bit annoyed too, has she booked the time off work? Maybe she can’t change it now.
I think it was fine for you to ask if you could change things but also ok for her to say no, and you should then stick to your original plan.
It can’t be anything that important for your son or you wouldn’t have booked these dates in the first place, you will just have to explain to your son that you won’t be able to be there, but his dad can take lots of photos/videos for you to watch later. Even possibly he could video call you so you could watch live?

YABU - 'child really wants you there' is never a good enough excuse to change longstanding and/or holiday plans. This is ridiculous.
Tell the kid you already have a holiday planned, holidays are a big deal both financially and for all involved. Your friend is relying on you and we don't just break plans with friends. And you will be sad to miss it but kid will survive. Children need things explained to them and have been brought up with enough grit to cope with stuff (but this is not really a huge thing to deal with - son, I can't make it because x, I'd have loved to come and will really miss it but you will have your dad there).

They're going on the train. It's in the OP.

She says “get the train.”

This isn’t some surprise emergency. You knew about your son’s thing, but felt happy to skip it as your husband was going. You can’t change it now.
Your friend isn’t the problem here.

Where are you going to? Are you flying? You can’t fly back the same day that you go scuba diving

I don’t think offering someone something they don’t think is necessary means they owe it to you to offer the same in reverse.

They didn't change plans though - they said they would get up to the required standard by the time you go away. They are escalating their training to be able to go on the break you had both booked, at the time agreed.

You want to go a whole day later - and not just a day, in the evening. They are doing more to try and meet the date/time agreed, and you are just saying: "Oops, didn't chat to my son about me going to this and now it turns out I have to be there, so can we do a day and a bit later?"

You can see why they are peeved surely?

Nor me.

I wouldn’t change my plans for this.

Also, the lengthy details about you and your friends swimming ability has no bearing on the story whatsoever!

You didn't have to change anything for your friend tho. They are sticking with the original plan

Its unreasonable to want to change the days from Thur to Sun to Fri night to Monday...its not easy to change days away and you also say you already booked the hotel?

I think you need to tell your child you can't be at the awards due to already being away, but their dad will be and can take photos/a video.