Page 2 | When parents say their child is their best friend

ClickClackClock · 2025-06-29T11:44:11+00:00

Is this not weird. Perhaps when you are both adults but why is your best friend a 2 year old?

QuesodeLuna · 29/06/2025 18:49

I would say my child is my soul mate. I know it’s often used in a romantic way but where I come from it can be equally used platonically. I always thought it was a weird phrase but now I get it. He really is so much like a piece of me in every way. We just get each other. I have never felt so connected or in sync with another human being in this way.

I do not repeat this because I know for a fact people would look at me like I’m insane.

But on that note… back to the point that I can’t get worked up about calling your kid your best friend.

TinyTempest · 29/06/2025 18:08

Profpudding · 29/06/2025 15:55

If you see a 2 year old going clubbing dressed in their mothers clothes let me know

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Well exactly! 🤣

SilviaSnuffleBum · 29/06/2025 16:33

I love my DTs and I enjoy their company more than that of anyone else, but I'd never describe them as my 'best friends'.
But, I don't think it's weird; it's just not the phraseology I'd use.

Minnie798 · 29/06/2025 16:30

Greencustardmonster · 29/06/2025 15:37

“Favourite person to spend time with” is fine. “Best friend” with your minor child is just icky to me - it implies a level of reciprocity and equality that isn’t there in a healthy parent and child relationship. I love spending time with my kids 1:1, but I certainly don’t tell them things I’d tell my (adult) best friend, I don’t rely on them for emotional support and I do expect them to obey me and respect my authority. I make key decisions for them. I make them shower and do their homework and tell them off for swearing. I don’t really care if they like me 100% of the time. It’s absolutely not a “best friend” relationship, nor should it be. My kids have peers for that.

I agree with this. It's just weird referring to your child/ teen as your best friend anyway, a bit sad.

Love51 · 29/06/2025 16:20

Greencustardmonster · 29/06/2025 15:37

“Favourite person to spend time with” is fine. “Best friend” with your minor child is just icky to me - it implies a level of reciprocity and equality that isn’t there in a healthy parent and child relationship. I love spending time with my kids 1:1, but I certainly don’t tell them things I’d tell my (adult) best friend, I don’t rely on them for emotional support and I do expect them to obey me and respect my authority. I make key decisions for them. I make them shower and do their homework and tell them off for swearing. I don’t really care if they like me 100% of the time. It’s absolutely not a “best friend” relationship, nor should it be. My kids have peers for that.

I agree.
My 13 year old once said to me (quite sadly) that she'd heard that parents shouldn't be their child's friend and what were we doing wrong. I explained as above, that I don't parent my friends. My children and I are friendly and have fun together but my role is to protect and nurture them. I nurture my friends when I can but I'm not invested in whether they eat vegetables.
We are not equals. Not at 3, not at 13, hopefully at 23, although I didn't spend much time with my mum at 23!

Neemie · 29/06/2025 16:05

Redpeach · 29/06/2025 16:00

I have that but never use the best friend term

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I don’t use the best friend term either, but others do. My mum uses it about me and there is nothing negative about it. It just means we get along really well and enjoy chatting.

GonnaeNoDaeThatJustGonnaeNo · 29/06/2025 16:01

It’s just something some people say. It really doesn’t bother me.

Cynic17 · 29/06/2025 16:00

Very odd, because it means they run the risk of not actually parenting their child. Parents and children aren't supposed to be friends - it's a completely different relationship.

Redpeach · 29/06/2025 16:00

Neemie · 29/06/2025 15:58

I think it is just something people say when they have a nice, easy relationship with their child.

I have that but never use the best friend term

Neemie · 29/06/2025 15:58

I think it is just something people say when they have a nice, easy relationship with their child.

Profpudding · 29/06/2025 15:55

TinyTempest · 29/06/2025 15:21

With a 2 year old?

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If you see a 2 year old going clubbing dressed in their mothers clothes let me know

TourangaLeila · 29/06/2025 15:46

My mum specifically wanted a girl so that she'd have a best friend.

Spoiler - it didn't work out for her because her daughter is more emotionally mature and doesn't feel her childhood full of inappropriate behaviours was acceptable. We no longer speak.

I think there's something psychologically wrong with people who think they are best friends with their children.

Pinty · 29/06/2025 15:39

It's just a figure is speech. I don't see it as weird at all just a term of endearment.
I don't understand why it upsets some people.

Greencustardmonster · 29/06/2025 15:37

“Favourite person to spend time with” is fine. “Best friend” with your minor child is just icky to me - it implies a level of reciprocity and equality that isn’t there in a healthy parent and child relationship. I love spending time with my kids 1:1, but I certainly don’t tell them things I’d tell my (adult) best friend, I don’t rely on them for emotional support and I do expect them to obey me and respect my authority. I make key decisions for them. I make them shower and do their homework and tell them off for swearing. I don’t really care if they like me 100% of the time. It’s absolutely not a “best friend” relationship, nor should it be. My kids have peers for that.

Redpeach · 29/06/2025 15:27

I'm sure i've read pps on mumsnet saying their mum is their best friend, not dads though weirdly enough

TinyTempest · 29/06/2025 15:21

Profpudding · 29/06/2025 15:08

Nowt wrong with that

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With a 2 year old?

Profpudding · 29/06/2025 15:08

TinyTempest · 29/06/2025 12:55

Yeah I don't really think they mean they share each others clothes and go clubbing together.

Nowt wrong with that

Ohthatsabitshit · 29/06/2025 15:07

Well your best friend is the best friendship you have, so it just means they don’t have any other good friends.

ginasevern · 29/06/2025 14:40

BleachedJumper · 29/06/2025 12:57

Meh, I called my old dog my best friend.

It’s just a shorthand statement of affection.

That's different! My cat literally is my best friend.

cheezncrackers · 29/06/2025 14:31

I think 'poor child' to have such a needy and pathetic parent.

MyKingdomForACat · 29/06/2025 14:30

My son is one of my best friends but he’s 36. I doubt I’m one of his 🤣

OriginalUsername2 · 29/06/2025 14:28

I wince when I hear that.

It’s a slippery slope to enmeshment.

TinyTempest · 29/06/2025 14:25

latetothefisting · 29/06/2025 14:09

some absolutely do!

As pp's have said, if it's just a nice way of saying 'I love you and enjoy spending time with you,' no issue at all.

But there are some women (I'm sure dads too but I've seen it more with girls and mums) where the mums seem to be wanting to relive their youth and do everything most women do with their friends with their daughter - coffee dates, cinema, going out at night, gym, holiday together, hen parties, etc.

Obviously there's nothing wrong with any of that - I've done some of those things with my mum, if I have a dd I'd hope she would want to do some of them with me occasionally. But it's healthier to also have friends closer to your age to do them with AS WELL, not only because it's unhealthy to rely solely on your dc for companionship and use them as replacements for friends, but because surely there will be things your DC don't want to hear about - issues in your relationship with their dad, for example. Even more so if the child isn't an adult themselves when the parent does it, and the conversation isn't age appropriate.

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some absolutely do!

With a 2 year old?

That's a tight squeeze.

LadyMonicaBaddingham · 29/06/2025 14:24

neverbeenskiing · 29/06/2025 12:56

I work with children and see a lot of situations where parents wanting to be their child's "best friend" leads to lack of boundaries, being in denial about problems and children being given more control and choice than is healthy for their age range.

So wholeheartedly agree with you on this!

GreyCarpet · 29/06/2025 14:20

Raindropsandroses123 · 29/06/2025 13:51

Nope, I haven’t. I just disagree.

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You're disagreeing with a point that is different from the one I am making, though.

Your comments are on the phrase itself from the child's perspective. My comments are about the adult motivation and the impact of that on the child.