Asking a child’s mother to pay for replacement pastry?!

To be fair if my kids did this in the split second I wasn't watching them I would buy you a replacement pastry. But if you told my parenting was rubbish like you did here then stuff your pastry and sort yourself out.

Obviously, I said, ‘kids will not just be kids. It’s unhygienic and poor /parenting and I would like for you to buy me a replacement.’

And as the parent, there would have ended my cooperation in any way.

Not unreasonable to want another pastry after a child touched yours just after having his fingers in his mouth.

But if the cafe decide to suck up the cost of the replacement to try to keep the other customer happy, that’s between them and the other woman. Fuck all to do with you.

😂
I love MN, it's completely mad sometimes 😂
I agree that it'd be annoying if a random kid grabbed your pastry but it's hardly equivalent to your danish whirl being covered in pubes lol
As for shrieking, I'd think the OP was a bit bonkers too

YANBU OP and I can't believe 10% of people think you are - what low standards they must have.
I totally agree that it's possible to express your annoyance without being obnoxious and aggressive. The trouble is, this is how many people express their annoyance these days, so they can't believe that someone else has the self-control that they lack.
Your account proves something else I firmly believe - that you're far more likely to arrive at a satisfactory outcome if you present your argument politely and assertively. Well done for getting your fresh pastry OP, whilst ensuring the bakery didn't get stiffed for the cost. 😊

This is why some of us enjoyed the social distancing. Unless I was carrying my tray with two hands, I'd involuntary block anyone coming for my food. If I was sat at a table, again the child would be blocked and the Mum told to get her, because we'd have hot drinks. I can't imagine this playing out tbh.

Said child could have had their fingers in their undercrackers at any point before the interaction.

Would YOU eat it? 😆

‘Out of your control’?? Don’t be so ridiculous.

If you know your child is unmanageable you don’t take them into busy cafe’s and allow them to annoy paying customers.

If you want to enjoy visiting cafe’s you need to go with another adult so that one of you is in control of your child at all times. Other people shouldn’t be inconvenienced by your adult choices of how you parent your child.

I would have eaten it, too. But I still don't feel it's okay for children to maul other people's food. If the victim's squeamish about their food being touched by strangers' children and wants a replacement, the children's parents should pay.

YANBU, OP, even though I wouldn't be the same.

I clicked yabu, not because I don’t agree with the fact that she should have paid for a replacement! But because of the absolute scene, and because you called it poor parenting. If this was me I would have been absolute mortified and I probably would have cried. Perhaps next time be discrete!
YANU to ask for a replacement pastry!

Well hopefully the next person will bang her to rights as well then.

Am I the only one that wouldn't be bothered about a kid touching it and will have eaten it anyway? 😂

I rather doubt it!

Is it unfashionable for parents to be held responsible for their children’s actions these days? Why should the business lose out because a random child has behaved badly?

Or do you also think that the shop should suck it up when people steal too?

Mine didn’t go around touching stuff and I’d have avoided taking them out to cafes if they were causing a nuisance. Too many parents feel entitled to act as if they’re not responsible for their little darlings and that the rest of us should also smile indulgently at their annoying little brats.

You were being unreasonable for shrieking but otherwise the other mum was a bad parent and should have paid so every other aspect was bang on

I was quoting a comment that said they don’t believe it happened this way, but the comment seems to be a victim of Mumsnet’s itchy delete finger (Oddly, not itchy on transphobic comments though as I’ve seen multiple times).

Anyway, I think you were Bang on.
A made up scenario to just get people foaming over “bad parenting”.
We all know how Mumsnet loves to bash ‘parents these days’.

Awaiting that itchy delete finger.
Don’t care, said my piece 💁🏼‍♀️

Shame on me...

okay then

Shame on you 🤣 bit ott.

"Yes, that's why parents need to parent."

Perfect response. Saving that one for the next time someone tells me "kids will be kids".

Why should the coffee shop pick up the tab?!

You really wouldn't offer to pay? Shame on you!

Who pays for the original spoilt one? The mother?

Kids will be kids.

That’s why parents need to parent!

Good on you for not making the coffee shop foot the bill because the parent didn’t do her job.

Not the Op fault at all. If a child had done it to me id ask the staff for another, or id just let the child eat it and go without it. Probably that as im on a diet personally, but no offence was intented towards the OP.

i wouldnt expect the mother to replace it. When you are in the same position you understand. My daughter would be this child even though i parent her as best i can. Its really difficult. She has behaviour issues though out of my control.

They’re not the same things @Mintsj 🙄

I think it sounds very unnatural, stilted.