Asking a child’s mother to pay for replacement pastry?!

You don't think is poor parenting on the other mum's part?

So if an adult stranger came over and gobbed on to your sandwich, you’d just eat it, would you?

Of course it does, but sometimes that effort leaves you running on empty and none of us knows exactly what goes on!

That said, I do my best to always say thankyou to people in these situations!

Just wondering if I meet OPs poor parenting standards because my DC is a lot older, but agreed derailing of the highest order.

Most people wouldn't want to eat food that had been pawed over by someone else or contained the saliva of another person. It's a normal human reaction, even though we know that it probably won't cause us any harm. Surely you must have heard of it before?

I’m not remotely germ-phobic but I wouldn’t want to eat a pastry that someone else’s kid had grabbed immediately after having her fingers in her mouth any more than I’d want to eat a pastry that an adult had just spat on.

As for ‘What do think would happen?’ there are numerous possibilities ranging from ‘nothing’ to ‘a serious gastrointestinal bug’. Most likely it would be nothing, but who knows and who wants to play Russian roulette with a stranger’s saliva? Not me.

Have you never heard of stomach acid? It’s evolved over thousands of years to kill viruses…

also come off it. What the odds of a child having GF at that particular moment.

Honestly mumsnetters are really poor at risk assessment when it comes to germs.

Not the point though. The point is entitled parenting, expecting other people to give ground. Just like prams on narrow pavements - I always step off to allow passage, but very rarely get a thank you. Just as an example. Parenting takes effort.

OP mentioned poor parenting because the stupid woman said 'kids will be kids'. I wouldn't want someone's grubby hands over my food, especially as the kid had their fingers in their mouth, and the mother dismissing it would have annoyed me as well.

For me it would depend on the parents attitude. If they had been apologetic and told the child off my defenses would have been lowered but if she said kids will be kids my hackles would have risen

She doesn’t need to pay for two pastries, she only needs to pay for one, OP’s replacement. Essentially, they’ve bought a pastry each, OP has her replacement so she’s neither gained nor lost. The mum has technically lost as she has had to buy a pastry she may not have been planning on purchasing.

@Tandora

who wants to eat a strangers spit?? Maybe you do… I don’t though and neither does OP

I’m with you OP - I work with kids and wouldn’t eat anything they’ve been handling! I see where they put their hands and how poorly they wash them.

I probably wouldn’t have shrieked but I would have “eewwww”ed and tutted and asked the parent politely if they could replace it as I don’t want to eat something anyone else has been handling, let alone a small germy child. But I wouldn’t have criticised her parenting, mainly to try and ensure she felt guilty rather than defensive and would be more likely to replace it. You catch more flies with honey than vinegar etc

I wouldn't want to eat a toddlers saliva.

@CreteBound

loads of illnesses can be passed on via saliva …have you never heard of glandular fever??

Most people wouldnt want to eat a pastry that had been grabbed at by someone else's small child who has their fingers in their mouth etc ,kids

Oh please! It is not the job of random members of the public to overlook bad behaviour in children and leave themselves out of pocket, just so that you don't have to take responsibility for your child's behaviour. The bloody entitlement of some parents blows my mind.

Absolutely you do! It’s right up there in the top 10 parenting fails! 😂😂 in all seriousness I would have been the same as your daughter! Love the smell of a freshly printed newspaper!

I genuinely feel sorry for the mum in this situation. Not because she shouldn’t have bought a replacement pastry, which she should, and did, but to have your parenting called out loudly and publicly is embarrassing and humiliating! I literally would have bought the pastry and ran away crying! Mortifying!

Nope nope nope!

The thought of eating something that a child had their fingers in makes me feel sick 🤢

Snotty, dirty fingers. No thank you.

Quite right OP.

The woman looking in disgust at the sniffing?. Sounds exactly like the OP but just letting her eyes doing the talking instead of her gob?! 😁

Yeah, just nasty. Could have been the end of a long, shitty day of the kid having a bratty day and the parent trying to do something to cheer them both up.
Someone like the OP saying that about poor parenting could just be the tipping point, like an OP some days when mine were little that would have probably made me want to cry too.
I'd definitely have stewed over the situation and replayed for days in my head on some days.
There's a way of getting your point across without being an arsehole about it.

What's that got to do with this thread?

Good for you
You can't expect others too though
We have food hygiene rules for a reason .

Sorry to derail. But my DC (9) was sniffing a newspaper on the counter at the local shop. She loves the smell of newspapers. I laughed and said "what are you doing"? and a couple of people in the shop said I love the smell of books etc. One woman looked at her in utter disgust though. In hindsight I should have told her not to do it. Is this really gross? I think I might need to reassess my parenting skills.