Asking a child’s mother to pay for replacement pastry?!

Well there you go.

You've been in that sort of situation but you would have put it right.

This woman was in a similar situation and she wasn't going to put it right.

The OP only needed to cause a scene because the woman wasn't going to replace the gobbed on croissant. If she'd put it right straight away, there would have been no need for a scene.

I also would have just bought you another pastry but secretly thought you were a bit mad for shrieking.

So have i my 15 year old is severely autistic and given half a chance would swipe some body else's food ,ww try not to let that this happen but if it did i would automatically offer the person whose food he grabbed a replacement

I have already said quite a few times on the thread that I would have paid for the pastry.

im just calling the OP out for causing a scene! We don’t know the kids will be kids comment wasn’t because she wanted to end the scene the OP was causing and to try and stop drawing attention. But then Im making assumptions like those calling this woman entitled.

Of course the kid didn't mean any harm. But it's her parent's job to teach her not to pick up other people's food. Maybe her mum will start doing that more if it costs her money and means people take her up on it in a public place.

As for 'it's a couple of quid!' that logic also applies to the mum, surely? If my kid had done this I'd offer to get a replacement and suck that up as part of my toddler not behaving perfectly.

But what would you do in situations like this? Shrug it off, or pay for a new pastry?

Redundant? Really! I don’t think it’s redundant. I am on the other parents side mostly because I have been in situations like this. Her reaction was probably the equivalent of a nervous laugh, but we don’t know that because we only have the OPs view, and loads of harsh judgement mental mnetters who agree!

Nothing. But she shouldnt have to thats disgusting

@Dillydollydingdong

and…? what’s your point?
When someone spends a couple of quid on a pastry it’s because they want to eat it. Op couldn’t because it had saliva on it. You may have money to burn but most of it don’t.

its not neither here nor there! I legitimately remember being around this age and grabbing chewing gum off a bus stop (years later I cringe) but at that age I had no idea of the implications and germs etc! I work every day with children as young as this, and everyday I send them back to the bathroom because they don’t wash their hands after peeing!

What’s not frightening about grown adults not treating kids as kids and not normalising the fact that they have no idea about personal hygiene all the time because they are young!

Im all for people saying something if it helps them sleep at night but the OP clearly caused a scene! Be discrete!

Well obviously we only have OP's side. I hate redundant comments like this, we are only ever going to get the OP's side.

The mum was entitled. If OP saw her child touching multiple things they shouldn't have the mum did too. Instead of stopping that child, they let them carry on. Not everywhere and everything is a play thing for children. Further evidenced by the fact she dismissed her child touching someone else's food as being a kid.

The principle is correct but your tone sounds off.

We had a similar (but much chavier) version of this when I worked in spoons. Kid stuck their fingers in someone’s curry, next thing I know the dads (both drunk) were squaring up to one another. As a former service worker, this kind of interaction happens a lot so I don’t think it’s out of the realm of possibility.

I think we as mums (dads too but often to a lesser extent) can get blind to our kids being gross and grimey. We are just so used to it, it doesn’t phase us. When you’re cleaning up someone’s sick and shit, a little spit doesn’t phase you at all. This woman is probably just used to her kid and thought it was no biggie. You are 100% in the right tho. Other people’s kids are gross as fuck. If that had been me and one of my grubby little children had done this I’d be clambering to get you a new one.

I think the woman should have offered to buy a replacement straight away.

but I disagree that most people would have shrieked. I would only shriek if someone burnt me with a cigarette or walloped my toddler. Not because someone touched my croissant. No need for such drama.

I think the OP was OTT too.

But the kid was 5 or 6, a child of that age does know you don’t stick your fingers in your mouth and then stick them on other peoples’ food. A sense of danger is neither here nor there, this is basic good manners - the fact the mother didn’t just offer to replace it immediately would indicate that manners aren’t a top priority in that family. A little more calling out of that in public would be a good thing overall. (Again acknowledging that the OP is a drama Queen - although given you are describing a manners-based altercation in a coffee shop as frightening, she might not be the only one.) .

Why the eyeroll? If your kid breaks something, you pay, not the shop. It's the same thing.

It's just a pastry FFS! A couple of quid! 🙄😂

Right….🙄

You are right, but OTT in the end.

It’s a bit weird to insist she pay for it if the shop was willing to - that’s between her and the shop.

Shrieking (I know it wasn’t a literal shriek but still) because some kid touched your pasty is also a bit OTT.

Because someone who wasn't entitled would offer to pay and not expect the coffee shop to foot the bill for their child putting saliva on another person's food.

I have a toddler who is in to everything and can imagine him managing to do this while I was distracted for a second at a till. I would absolutely insist on buying you a new one though. Why would you want to eat something that had been prodded at by a random kid 🤢

I honestly feel like crying on the poor woman’s behalf!

Probably not, but perhaps the woman was so embarrassed by the loud shrieking and scene causing that she tried to brush it off to not cause a scene! To be honest if the OP had called my parenting poor I would have given her a blow by blow account of every time I have had a difficulty because of his needs!

Op wasn’t after a free pastry, she wanted a replacement for the one that got covered in saliva

Agreed. OP was right to say the mum should have paid but calling her a bad mum was unnecessary and nasty.