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Asking a child’s mother to pay for replacement pastry?!

336 replies

HeatingFiddler · 29/06/2025 08:03

Yesterday at my local coffee shop/bakery I had my pastry on a tray on the counter and was waiting for my coffee. In front of me was a mum with two kids.

One of the kids was fairly young and kept touching everything including glass cabinets, tables, chairs, the self-serve cutlery. She also kept putting her fingers in her mouth and hair. As kids do.

Anyway. She suddenly grabbed my pastry! I shrieked (probably an over reaction, but god the child has literally just shove her fingers in her mouth moments before). Kids mum turned around and asked what the problem was. I said that her child had just touched my pastry, after putting her fingers in her mouth.
And she said, ‘oh. Kids will be kids. I’m sure it’s fine.’

Obviously, I said, ‘kids will not just be kids. It’s unhygienic and poor /parenting and I would like for you to buy me a replacement.’

She said ‘if it’s that big of an issue I’m sure you can ask the staff for a new one.’

At this point a member of staff arrived. I explained the situation and said, ‘I don’t think a replacement should come from you. This happened because the child was not being supervised. The child’s mother should pay.’

Anyway, in the end the child’s mother agreed to pay and she took the one her child had touched and they ate it and then left.

Was I being unreasonable to say the mother should pay and to refuse to eat the pastry after that? I genuinely don’t think The coffee shop should have had to front a replacement either - it wasn’t their error!

OP posts:
Tandora · 29/06/2025 08:46

WhyWouldAnyone · 29/06/2025 08:42

WTF? It's disgusting.

What's awful is the shit parenting and lack of responsibility.

Oh what absolute rubbish .

Small children sometimes touch things they shouldn’t.

Only unpleasant and deeply uptight people go around “shrieking” because a small child has touched their pastry and accusing random mothers of poor parenting.

Drowninginconfusion · 29/06/2025 08:46

BedChem · 29/06/2025 08:10

This actually happened...?

It didn’t happen like that did it? I am smart and articulate but in situations like this I always find it hard to articulate my thoughts. I’ve never heard a Mum say ‘kids will be kids’ either.

Zombiefluff · 29/06/2025 08:44

Well you were unreasonable for shrieking like a child, no doubt if the child was shrieking you would be whinging about it. You are also unreasonable to equate a toddler touching something as “poor parenting”.

You got a replacement, no idea why you need to go through like with such an abrasive attitude though. You made the situation thoroughly unpleasant it seems.

WhyWouldAnyone · 29/06/2025 08:42

Tandora · 29/06/2025 08:40

Wow you acted like a piece of work. Imagine “shrieking” because a small child touched your pastry.

Awful.

WTF? It's disgusting.

What's awful is the shit parenting and lack of responsibility.

minnienono · 29/06/2025 08:42

@FastFood

had “they are only kids” said to me yesterday when 3 dc were being incredibly annoying during a gig, running around, knocking into people and spilling peoples drinks. I said to the mother that it’s an adult concert and whilst children over 5 were allowed in (I doubt one of her dc was 5 but she had convinced security) there was no facilities for them so they were bored - she needed to engage with them rather than them annoying everyone else. The reply they are only kids. Security had the last laugh as people had also complained to them and the family was asked to leave an hour later or so before the main act. Supervise you children people and if they are too young to understand, push chairs are great

Tandora · 29/06/2025 08:42

Hufflemuff · 29/06/2025 08:37

If you'd have told me I was exhibiting poor parenting, you'd be purchasing your own replacement and I probably would have told you where to stick it. That's just plain rude.

However, without that accusation I would have purchased you a new pastry and apologised as soon as it happened.

If you'd have told me I was exhibiting poor parenting, you'd be purchasing your own replacement and I probably would have told you where to stick it. That's just plain rude.

also this.

WhyWouldAnyone · 29/06/2025 08:42

Yuck!

How is her lack of attention or care for what her child is doing the coffee shop's fault? Why should they pay?

Kuretake · 29/06/2025 08:41

kids will not just be kids. It’s unhygienic and poor /parenting and I would like for you to buy me a replacement

I'm tickled people think the reason this sounds fake is that it's too articulate. It sounds fake because it's poorly phrased although could be that English is OP's second language.

Tandora · 29/06/2025 08:40

Wow you acted like a piece of work. Imagine “shrieking” because a small child touched your pastry.

Awful.

EmeraldShamrock000 · 29/06/2025 08:40

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springissprung2025 · 29/06/2025 08:39

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BertieBotts · 29/06/2025 08:39

You've clearly never worked in retail or customer facing service jobs if you think it's an unlikely interaction.

TBH I would have probably been terribly English and not wanted to make a fuss.

TwoFeralKids · 29/06/2025 08:37

How old was the child? A two or three year old can be fast. I would have apologised and got you a new one however you do seem to have over reacted a bit.

Hufflemuff · 29/06/2025 08:37

If you'd have told me I was exhibiting poor parenting, you'd be purchasing your own replacement and I probably would have told you where to stick it. That's just plain rude.

However, without that accusation I would have purchased you a new pastry and apologised as soon as it happened.

BlushingBrightly · 29/06/2025 08:37

ByMerryTiger · 29/06/2025 08:32

You don’t think you’d be able to say ‘kids will not just be kids. It’s unhygienic and poor /parenting and I would like for you to buy me a replacement.’ without prior preparation? Really?

Exactly how inarticulate are the commenters claiming this must be fake?

These are all the people who are now saying they get AI to write all their emails for them

nomas · 29/06/2025 08:35

ByMerryTiger · 29/06/2025 08:32

You don’t think you’d be able to say ‘kids will not just be kids. It’s unhygienic and poor /parenting and I would like for you to buy me a replacement.’ without prior preparation? Really?

Exactly how inarticulate are the commenters claiming this must be fake?

Agreed. Many MNers seem to think any basic interaction is a terrible confrontation.

nomas · 29/06/2025 08:34

CreteBound · 29/06/2025 08:16

Child was being a brat but what did you think would happen to you if you ate the pastry?

Would you eat food that had been dropped in pubes? After all nothing is going to happen to you, will it? Just dust off the pubes and eat the cake.

Fernie6491 · 29/06/2025 08:32

Not quite the same, but in our local Co-op a couple of years ago, all the pastries were in uncovered baskets at waist-level, where anyone (children especially), could touch, cough or sneeze over them. I contacted the head office to suggest transparent covers, for hygiene reasons.
Despite them responding, nothing has ever changed. I absolutely refuse to ever buy anything from those shelves. It's quite disgusting!

ByMerryTiger · 29/06/2025 08:32

This reply has been deleted

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You don’t think you’d be able to say ‘kids will not just be kids. It’s unhygienic and poor /parenting and I would like for you to buy me a replacement.’ without prior preparation? Really?

Exactly how inarticulate are the commenters claiming this must be fake?

nomas · 29/06/2025 08:32

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What spur of the moment statement? What are you on about?

Highsmithery · 29/06/2025 08:29

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HeatingFiddler · 29/06/2025 08:26

I love the assumption that because we were both polite and articulate that it can’t have happened. Even when annoyed, being polite and articulate is still possible!

Being annoyed doesn’t give you the right to yell at people or be aggressive.

Yes I shrieked, most people probably would if a child that had just had their fingers in their mouth grabbed food that they had paid for!

OP posts:
BallerinaRadio · 29/06/2025 08:21

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It was the shrieking that got me

x2boys · 29/06/2025 08:20

CreteBound · 29/06/2025 08:16

Child was being a brat but what did you think would happen to you if you ate the pastry?

Would you want to eat a pastry that had been grabbed by someone else's small child?

CreteBound · 29/06/2025 08:16

Child was being a brat but what did you think would happen to you if you ate the pastry?

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