Asking a child’s mother to pay for replacement pastry?!

I was referring to her description of a child compulsively touching everything and putting their fingers in their mouth. That’s not a NT 5/6 year old.

You must be a very superior parent if you never took your eyes off your child for a second.

People are just desperate to defend poor parenting and poor manners for some reason.

Perhaps they're also rude and bad parents? Make you wonder.

I don't eat pastry my kids have touched so yanbu about* *that No need to be rude and talk about poor parenting though. I would have asked her for a replacement though so well done for that (most people wouldn't dare).

@x2boysIt wouldn’t bother me at all, because I’m pretty good at understanding actual risk and the role of stomach acid. I also let my kids eat food they’ve dropped on floors. Any floors. We’re never sick.

I’m unclear as to how that’s relevant to what I’ve said.

Sorry but shrieking ia a bit crazy, are you usually so easily rattled like that ?
Yes, she should pay for the pastry.
But you should also learn to handle situations better. I can not imagine shrieking because someone touched my pastry, that is next level dramatising.

😂 This is batshit.

I agree

You absolutely did say 'go without junk' in your attempt to make it the OP's fault and absolve the parent.

It’s utterly attention seeking and annoying behaviour in public, and even worse from a grown adult.

She would have enjoyed it less than she deserved to knowing that someone's toddler had touched it with their slimy hands.

Does this mean we've finally moved on from that sistene chapel screeching bullshit and now it's shrieking at pastries?
Just so I can update my mumsnet nonsense index
TIA

Shrieking and then insisting on a replacement pastry, while fine and probably justified, is not usually the type of behaviour described as ‘polite’ though (OP described her interaction with the mother as such).

People are jumping on that word, when it was probably an exclamation of surprise and disgust.

YANBU but saying “it’s poor parenting” in front of the whole cafe was mean, you don’t know what that mother is going through.

OP absolutely did not describe a toddler! She said One of the kids was fairly young. What OP described was a badly behaved child with a disinterested parent. Yes, the child may have been ND but so was one of mine - he probably. would have touched people’s food if I hadn’t actively been parenting! And IF he had ever touched someone’s food I would have arranged a replacement immediately before anything else needed to be said!

So is it “just what children do” to put their fingers in plug sockets and run out into the road? People have to parent fgs!

They should eat junk? What???
I didnt say that at all. I said good opportunity to go without the pastry

People let their children behave like feral animals these days. And I say that as someone who brought up a boy with ASD, so very significant extra help and management needed from me. When I knew there was a situation that I had no hope of managing effectively without impacting negatively on other people, I avoided the situation.

If you think about it, plenty of people have trained dogs not to behave like that. And human children can even talk.

The worst thing about the whole incident is that the mother probably doesn’t even see how badly her child behaved and won’t do anything about it. The child will just grow up prancing through the world as though everything is theirs.

How convenient.

Well the child is definitely ND/SEN then because you absolutely described a toddler in your OP, so I stand by what I said.

YANBU

we have a SEN child with learning disabilities and he does frequently touch everything around him. At soft plays etc he will pick up other peoples food or fruit shoots…etc we can’t keep him locked in a cage it’s not ideal but even with the most attentive one to one care it does happen. I replace every item in all these situations and wouldn’t dream of not doing. Luckily I’ve found people are very kind and understanding as long as that immediate ‘I am so sorry let’s get you a new one’ is put out there.
I don’t blame the mum for ‘not supervising’ if she had two kids, it’s hard and we all get distracted I’m sure she didn’t let the child do it on purpose but she was very rude and blasé in how she dealt with it which would have annoyed even me.

She didn’t just wander up to a stranger and start shouting, did she?

If someone’s parenting is affecting you, and they’ve brushed it off when you raised it, then pointing it out and demanding they sort it isn’t some societal breakdown. It’s entirely reasonable. The fact you recoil from that, and would rather everyone bottle it up then post later on Mumsnet about how they were too polite to say anything, is exactly the mindset I’m questioning. It must be soul crushing, being that passive all the time.

Yanbu. I don't mind eating something my own child has touched but anybody else's? Absolutely not I would have refused to eat it and expected the person supervising the child (in this case the mother) to buy a replacement.

I had a similar situation when someone turned up late for a film, didn't give themselves time to be accustomed to the dark, floundered around and put their fingers in my coffee. No way I was going to drink that. And I was really pissed off too and remonstrated with the woman who crawled off. I went and asked the cafe (attached to the cinema) for a fresh one under the circumstances, which they did without charge. I don't blame you OP.