Asking a child’s mother to pay for replacement pastry?!

You shrieked in the middle of a cafe because a small child touched your pastry? Are you normally this much of a drama queen?

I don’t know! I wasn’t there! Regardless of whether it was or it wasn’t, to be publicly called out on your parenting is actually
humiliating, it obviously caused a scene because staff had to get involved!
I absolutely would have replaced the pastry by the way but I would not have appreciated the rudeness of the op calling my parenting poor!

Those saying OP was wrong to react then speak to and "humiliate" the mother as it won't change her or the child's behaviour are missing the point a bit. Great but unlikely behaviour will be changed but OP got a new pastry without strange child spit on which was what was required to put things right.

Speaking to her is fine. The OP was not discrete! She clearly raised the point loudly as she shrieked and staff from the establishment had to get involved!

Because you were judgemental and rude and called out my parenting which has absolutely nothing to do with anything I’ve said at all. You said that I am clearly an entitled person who lets my child touch things and it be fine!

I have made several attempts for you to let it go and you chose to get personal and make several baseless claims!

As it goes I’m going to let it go now, please stop replying to me!

As you’ve reported my post for some reason, maybe just give it a rest now.

I never said that it was!!! Again please reread all of my posts and quote where I have said this!

Still no explanation on why your use of ‘discrete’ is ironic, eh?

You have misread my post entirely! I said the use of the word ‘mate’ was ironic!

You are clearly a troll who likes to make assumptions of people with baseless claims! Several times today I have made it abundantly clear that the op was NOT unreasonable to ask for a replacement pastry! I absolutely DO NOT think it is fine for my child to touch anything that belongs to anyone else and it be fine! You know absolutely nothing about me, my life or the battles I have had with my child who has significant SEND and SEMH issues so please, get off your moral high horse and judge someone else because your accusations are completely baseless and unfounded! PLEASE LEAVE ME ALONE!!

@ByMerryTiger
@MaybeBabyMaybeNo

Oh for heaven’s sake 😂
Okay, to explain again…

@ByMerryTiger said, in reply to a pp describing OP’s behaviour as confrontational,
“She didn’t just wander up to a stranger and start shouting, did she?
If someone’s parenting is affecting you, and they’ve brushed it off when you raised it, then pointing it out and demanding they sort it isn’t some societal breakdown. It’s entirely reasonable. The fact you recoil from that, and would rather everyone bottle it up then post later on Mumsnet about how they were too polite to say anything, is exactly the mindset I’m questioning. It must be soul crushing, being that passive all the time.”

Her comment supported the OP’s actions as justified. Not only that, she said people who didn’t demand the incident was sorted in the manner OP had, and instead remained quiet at the time because of politeness, were much too passive.

I too think it was fine for OP to ask for a replacement pastry. However, I don’t agree with the way @ByMerryTiger condones OP’s behaviour as I think her attitude was over the top. I was especially taken aback when OP described herself as behaving politely. It speaks to a lack of insight into her own behaviour.

I was trying to convey that when I replied with
“Shrieking and then insisting on a replacement pastry, while fine and probably justified, is not usually the type of behaviour described as ‘polite’ though (OP described her interaction with the mother as such).”

Obviously I should have been clearer.
I was disagreeing with @ByMerryTiger that OP’s attitude or manner was okay, though getting a replacement pastry was fine.
I thought it particularly ironic that OP described her behaviour as ‘polite’ while @ByMerryTiger portrayed the exact opposite sort of behaviour as being too passive and polite.

So I do think what I said was relevant, even if it seems it wasn’t especially clear 😅

You can send me that link if you want @ByMerryTiger, the thread sounds interesting.

You’re not making any sense. If you agree OP made the noise involuntarily, why are you still banging on about her being ‘discrete’?

I am not your mate, and you are the annoying one, repeating yourself to every poster who calls you out.

And it’s spelt ‘discreet’ in your context. HTH.

I do, what about my post suggests that I don’t. It was making a loud enough point so cafe staff had to get involved that made it not discrete.

mate, we don’t agree. That much is clear! Now go annoy someone else on this post, or enjoy the rest of your Sunday!

Where did I say she shouted? I said she should have been more discrete. The OP literally admits she shrieked! She called the woman out enough that it drew attention to the situation and staff from the cafe got involved. Therefore she was clearly not discrete! There is a difference between being discrete and whispering!