AIBU to expect more from my DDs private prep school ?

She’s not being kept down a year, she’s just remaining in her own peer group which is totally normal.

However, the fact that the reports and feedback from parent evenings is generic and doesn’t seem to recognise your child’s strengths and challenges would be a concern to me. My children all went through state education and reporting and feedback recognised them as individuals.

Sounds like you’re making the mistake of thinking that just because you’re paying, you’re going to get a better education, which isn’t actually true.

What areas do the school say she is emerging in? What areas do you say she is advanced in? Do they contradict each other? You need to have a meeting with the school. You may think she is advanced in reading because she can sound out words on the page, but a school may class her as emerging because she doesn’t understand what she is reading.

There's plenty of time. I would prefer my child was somewhere nurturing than being pushed at 5.
What is the point in being two years 'ahead' in maths?

What areas is she emerging in?

You won’t know whether your child is advanced in comparison to other children in her class. There could be many who are advanced in some areas. Either you keep with your choice and stick with the school or look for somewhere more pushy as that seems to be your main concern. You do not mention whether or not she is happy and is making friends- which are both more important at this point - and I find that worrying. As others have said , she is only 5.

Threads like this exist to make me feel relatively normal and relaxed.

How advanced? What makes you say that?

Can you give examples of what she can read?

She's not being "kept in reception"!! She's just in reception because she 5.!

It doesn't work like that.

Your child won't be moved up year groups, even if she's a genius. It's not in their best interests to be away from peers, there's a huge SEMH difference between a just turned 5 yo and a 6 or 7 year old.

How is she with her friends? Socialising, negotiation, sharing, emotional regulation etc.

And because she's paying.

Is she actually advanced (whatever that even means for 5 year old) or emerging?
Have they explained why she is being kept in Reception?

She's 5. FFS let her be a child instead of having all your expectations pushed on her.

She won't being kept down a year, the OP just can't understand why she hasn't been put up a year or two as she's"so clever".

good God, she’s only five years old

She will be emerging because at that age that’s what they are. And some of them peak at 10 but what I do know is if you start laying on the pressure now you will have an OCD perfectionist child with low self-esteem by about the age of 8.

LOL "being kept in reception".
Of course she should be with her peers, school is more than just being able to do sums.
She shouldn't be put up years, because you think she's amazing. The school clearly thinks she isn't advanced in all areas. And even if she was, it's no reason to put her in a class above her age.

No...no...no...!
I'm a teacher. For me. prviate schools exist to parents like this away from me.

Make friends with some year 5 and 6 parents. Understand their priorities. Then find out how they think school performs. Some prep schools don’t kick in until after the 7+ as they don’t want you to leave early. So they cram it all in nearer the end.

Reception is mainly about socialising. You could just start preparing for the 7+ and go elsewhere.

There is plenty of time. But make friends with other parents and find out why they are there.

If she is in “emerging” categories, why do you expect her to be in “exceeding”? She’s clearly not ready or not able enough. For a school to make her repeat a year in reception is quite unusual and it suggests she might have SEN. She’s only five. When is her birthday? Is she young in the school year? But if you’re not happy, move schools.

I have a 5year old. Also a 13 and 16yr old.

Believe me, there is plenty of time for progressing in maths and English etc as the years go on.

As others have said, the main focus should be on

• is she happy there
• do the teachers care for and nurture the children
• has she made friends

As others have said, reception and year 1 should be play based learning with focus on developing interpersonal skills, resilience and a love of learning. Plenty of time to push the academics later.

We made the huge mistake of trying to push our eldest too early, and by year 3 she was fed up and stopped engaging, despite being very bright and going to an excellent school. Please don't make that same mistake

What are the things she's advanced in? How is she with reading? The focus on reading is understandable as it's what unlocks the ability to acquire all sorts of other knowledge.

If your dd is being kept down a year in reception she must have educational needs that can’t be met by the prep school, which would stop her accessing the Y1 curriculum.

if your DD is not getting SEN assessment and support then something is wrong. I suggest you take her to an educational psychologist to get her assessed and move her to a state school where she will get differentiated work and SEN support.

And most importantly of all, she’s only 5 years old!