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Original poster

What time would you put an 11 and 13 year old to bed over the holidays?

87 replies

Purpleturtle43 · 28/06/2025 20:43

If you have nothing for the kids to get up for in the morning? My husband and I can't agree what time is reasonable and looking for opinions.

OP posts:
Clearinguptheclutter · 28/06/2025 22:54

Mine are 10 and 12. Def no “putting to bed” but gentle encouragement happens about 10.30. Lights out ideally 11 but sometimes later,

herbalteabag · 28/06/2025 22:52

No time. I wouldn't have any rules about that.

Calliopespa · 28/06/2025 22:51

Hallywally · 28/06/2025 22:00

@arethereanyleftatallYou monitor screen time for your 17 year old? That’s bizarre! They’re almost an adult!

I would.

You can’t just leave them on a screen all day.

pinkstripeycat · 28/06/2025 22:50

PeriJane · 28/06/2025 20:44

Why are you ‘putting’ kids of that age to bed in the first place? Can’t they put themselves to bed? Especially the 13 year old!

This

Calliopespa · 28/06/2025 22:50

Purpleturtle43 · 28/06/2025 20:49

By putting to bed I mean lights out and screens off. Do people just let their 13 year year old decide when that happens?

Screens off by 10. Lights out 11. Up by 9.

Tisfortired · 28/06/2025 22:48

My eldest is 11, starting secondary in September.

School night - bed at 9 but can read for as long as he wants, he usually falls asleep by about 9:30/10:00.

Non school night - bed at 9:30 but again can stay up reading as long as he wants.

No phones or PS5 after 8pm and every Saturday night is his late night, he stays downstairs with us until he gets tired. He usually falls asleep on the sofa then goes up when we do.

He has always been a very early riser, (5/6am until about the last 6 months where it sometimes pushes 7am) so he does he need his sleep.

NuffSaidSam · 28/06/2025 22:42

I'd let them decide and see if they can self-regulate.

If not, then in bed by 11pm latest.

Girliefriendlikespuppies · 28/06/2025 22:01

I’m in bed by 10pm so sometime before then 😂

Hallywally · 28/06/2025 22:00

@arethereanyleftatallYou monitor screen time for your 17 year old? That’s bizarre! They’re almost an adult!

ASimpleLampoon · 28/06/2025 21:59

When it's dark enough/ cool enough for them to sleep.

IbizaToTheNorfolkBroads · 28/06/2025 21:53

My 13 year old puts herself to bed. Usually 9ish on school nights, 10 ish on weekends and holidays.

theunbreakablecleopatrajones · 28/06/2025 21:24

Screens away at 8
Bed at 9 lights off at 10 for an 11 year old
Bed at 10 lights off at 11 for the 13 year old
An hour later Fri and Sat
A good bit later with sleepovers
Up by 9 Mon - Fri in the holidays 10 at weekends.

This is from memory, but in this ballpark

Unexpectedlysinglemum · 28/06/2025 21:23

Screens off and away at 930 then read in bed

stoow · 28/06/2025 21:19

Unless need to get up earlier than normal the following day (going on holiday etc), make sure they are in bed early.

Make sure that you wake them up before a certain time as, when they do go back to school, been sleeping to 9am or later, they will struggle to get up at school day waking up time

Ladyoftheknight · 28/06/2025 21:18

In bed by 9:30, lights off at 10pm. Screens off at 10pm, but if they really can't sleep then they can read. If we're out, watching a film or doing something then later bedtime is fine. They need sleep, it's so important at these ages.

arethereanyleftatall · 28/06/2025 21:12

Screens away at 10pm is still my rule in my house and mine are 17 and 15! I was definitely still reading with my 11 yr old, she massively enjoyed me reading to her. I don’t have wake up times, I reckon if their bodies need to sleep, let them sleep.

TheHateIsNotGood · 28/06/2025 21:04

But then I'm going back to the days when the only screen in the house was the one TV. DS is screen-mad but when he was younger he'd be so wiped out from his day he was out for the count once he was in bed.

He's a young adult now and as addicted to screens as much as many MNutters are; my own screen addiction included.

CarlaLemarchant · 28/06/2025 21:04

9.30-10pm depending on what we’re doing or watching but they can read in their rooms for a bit, not that they ever want to. I go to bed about 10.30/11 myself and I like us to have at least an hour on our own with adult tv (tv for grown ups not porn!) before bed.

AppleWhichWatch · 28/06/2025 21:01

Purpleturtle43 · 28/06/2025 20:49

By putting to bed I mean lights out and screens off. Do people just let their 13 year year old decide when that happens?

Well I'd say sending them to bed or telling them what time 'lights off' I wouldn't say 'putting them to bed' 😂😂

9 for 11 yo
10 for 13 yo
can read as long as they like in the holidays as long as they're not tired& grumpy in the day.

Original poster
Purpleturtle43 · 28/06/2025 21:00

Edenmum2 · 28/06/2025 20:59

It’s just an expression. Jesus OP obviously isn’t giving them a bottle and singing lullabies.

Show quote history

Exactly 🤣

OP posts:
Edenmum2 · 28/06/2025 20:59

PeriJane · 28/06/2025 20:44

Why are you ‘putting’ kids of that age to bed in the first place? Can’t they put themselves to bed? Especially the 13 year old!

It’s just an expression. Jesus OP obviously isn’t giving them a bottle and singing lullabies.

DirtyBird · 28/06/2025 20:58

When I was that age my parents let me stay up as long as I wanted. I did the same with my DD for the most part. If I had to go to work and she had to get up to be somewhere then I would say 11/midnight would be bedtime

Swifey40 · 28/06/2025 20:54

Oh, and no screens after 6pm anyway. We still all read together, as in we read to them. Then they go to bed and read tp themselves if they want. But that is all non negotiable. It's just what we do. No screens in bedrooms. Only books.

TheHateIsNotGood · 28/06/2025 20:54

As an ex-13 year old with siblings aged 11 and under, I finally found my voice and stated that I shouldn't be put or sent to bed at the same time as my younger siblings.

It was noted and I wasn't 'sent' to bed until 10pm and I reciprocated by not being annoying and demanding during that short-lived golden hour when I stayed up with the grown ups.

I remember watching the Ascent of Man during those times - and still find it one of the most fascinating TV programs ever made.

fruitandbarley · 28/06/2025 20:54

11 year old here, in bed by 9-9.30pm, reads till 10pm then lights off.
Way later if she's got friend sleeping over though.

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