What time would you put an 11 and 13 year old to bed over the holidays?

Exactly, my 17 yo works full time, I can't imagine monitoring what he does on screens!

From 12+ my DC have decided on their own bedtimes, they would go to their rooms before 9 but would do whatever after that. Teaching self regulation is so important, if you don't you will have 17 yos who cant make those decisions for themselves 🙄

Very different layout to a boarding school as we were in halls as it’s also a university, but I never had a curfew at home either
We were in lessons all day, then evening meal, shower, maybe a sport or met up with friends plus assignments so nobody was really on their phone that much as we were too busy

But not an adult yet and maybe need help managing their screen time.

Around 11.
You'll be sick of it before September.
I miss the days when they went to bed early.

Phones are off (as in enforced downtime) at 8.30 for both kids and bed around 9-9.30 for 12 yr old.and 9.30-10 for almost 14 yr old. No screens in bedrooms ever.

When DD was 11 bedtime was around 9pm. She’s 15 now and she doesn’t have a monitored bedtime but has to be up early for sports / school and likes her sleep so tends to be in bed still between 9 and 10 - maybe 10;30 at the weekend but rarely.

My daughter is 13. Phone, tablet and laptop cut off at 8pm during the week, 9pm Friday and Saturday. Only one telly in the house downstairs. Generally upstairs and getting into bed by 9.30 if we can manage it during the week, sometimes later if she has been out late at extra curricular activities. Friday/Saturday 10pm. At weekends she can read in bed as long as she likes.

Of course it does.

Under UK law a 17 year old is a minor and international law also classes anyone under 18 as a child.

Incidentally leaving home early isn’t necessarily the successful parenting technique many would assert; it’s associated with a lot of negative outcomes in adulthood.

My 11 yo goes to bed about 10.30 in the holidays. I resist it slipping later than that - unless we’re maybe away on the sort of holiday when that works - because he gets knackered the next day but doesn’t really like to rest.

13 year old puts herself to bed. But there’s no screens in bedrooms after dinner, they all stay charging downstairs.

There’s no specific time for lights out - she gets up fine in the mornings and she usually likes to read in bed for a while.
Sometimes we all watch tv together for a bit if she’s not tired. I am enjoying the freedom of not having to ‘do’ bedtime.

A 17 year old with a job, working hard at college, in a nice relationship and with good friends, out socialising is the bloody dream. And very unlikely if they’re sitting on their phones day and night.
Of course no one is stopping a 17 year old having fun with friends or working
Doomscrolling TikTok until 2am - needs monitoring.

In most boarding schools a 17 year old on a screen for hours would be instructed to stop,

I had a curfew for as long as I lived in my parents house.

If you are away from home then obviously you aren’t going to have restrictions.

I wasn’t even home at 17! I lived away at agricultural college from 16
the only rule was you had to be in your halls at 11 unless you had a permit from your parents (which we all did) and we had to sign in and out. So no curfew, no screen time monitoring, nothing

11 year old goes upstairs at 9ish, 12 year old at 9:45ish and 14 year old at 10:15ish but it depends on if we are doing something in the evening or not.

DN aged 11 still goes to bed at 7pm which i think is madness

Annoyed I used the wrong “too” 🙈🙄 - puppy jumping on me while I’m posting is my excuse.

My 17yo is often in bed after me. So long as she doesn’t wake me up, is getting up for school on time and getting the grades, I’m not boosting her at all!

I would be encouraging them upstairs by around 11pm. I would also encourage them to be up for the day by around 10am (maybe some longer sleep-ins if it’s the first few days of the holidays and they’re catching up on sleep / enjoying the leisurely mornings).
But I wouldn’t make any of it a battle or a hill to die on unless they’re basically nocturnal, which I don’t think is healthy.
My mum used to yell and sulk at me as a teen if I lay in of a morning and it caused so many unnecessary rows and spoiled what should have been lovely holidays. Teens need sleep.

Agreed! I was hardly home at 17- I went to college, worked until quite late several evenings at a pizza restaurant (past the 10pm point that PP has her own 17yo tucked up bed!) and the rest of time was with my boyfriend and friends socialising. I would often stay over at college friends houses or my boyfriends house in the week, always got myself from a to b on public transport if my boyfriend wasn’t about to drive me. The thought of bedtimes and screen time limits is funny.

I suppose my parents didn’t have to worry because I was normal and functioning- always went to college and did my work (they would have been informed otherwise) and worked hard at my job so I didn’t have to ask for money. If I was stuck in bed all the time then they would have intervened but otherwise there’s just no need to micromanage your children when they are practically adults.

Sorry for being off topic but my dad used to say 'pit' - "get out of your pit' to me as a kid and reading this really made me smile, so thank you.

If you still need to boss them about at 17 you’ve failed to parent them too the point they should be able to manage themselves.

Same age boys. Screens off depending on how long they’ve been on during the day.
13 has been on school break since 11 June, 11 just broke up yesterday.
They don’t have a bedtime, 11 goes up when he’s tired (usually by 8-8.30), 13 usually by 9.30.

Yes that does seem crazy, when I was 17 and it was summer I’d still be out at 10pm.

13yo need time is 9.30 here… but I have no recollection when the last time was they were in bed before 10pm 🙈 (looks over at dd3, 13, sat on the sofa watching Charlie XCX on TV at 10.58pm). School holidays were pretty chilled and they go to bed whenever but don’t tend to push it. If they’re run down I’d be firmer about bedtime.

Surprised some people don’t have a rough bedtime for an 11 year old, it’s still quite young? My 10.5 year old is 8.30pm bedtime on a school night and he seems to need it with lots of sport and clubs etc. in the holidays it’ll be more like 9pm. DH and I like to have a little bit of alone time before we go to bed, to watch some adult tv.

I’d keep bossing them about till at least 18.

You can't control a 17 year old's screen time. That moment has passed long ago.