House trashed whilst I was at work

OP have you reported this yet, or are you still faffing around?

Why on earth did your DP clear up without even taking photos? This was a really stupid thing to do, as if nothing else it may have helped to convince the rest of the family that he actually did this.

I don't actually think in a case like this that it would be worth the cost and aggravation of moving house again, as the likelihood is that a family member would only pass on the new address to him if he asked.

Has anyone actually spoken to the culprit since this happened, to ask why he did it?

It sounds like you're trying to convince yourself it's not worth it. But it absolutely is. Even if nothing comes of it this time, there needs to be a record of his behaviour.

Did he say anything to your neighbour?

Report

it might even mean your relative gets pushed up a priority list for help

Report it to the police and get the crime number. That's all you need to file an insurance claim. If they don't pursue it further, sounds like you can live with that as long it's logged.

If it happens again and they haven't done anything, then you can point to that down the line as well.

no the police don’t prosecute anything.

it is the CPS that bring charges and prosecute. The police gather the evidence, and present the case file to the CPS

it is entirely the CPS decision. Believe me, the police are just as frustrated as the CPS generally won’t take anything unless it’s pretty much guaranteed a guilty verdict. That is an incredibly high bar to pass.

as pp have said you can’t insist the police press charges. In this country it is entirely evidence based. This is so victims can’t be pressured either to “press” or “drop” charges- the police and CPS can still prosecute, or conversely not, if for example it’s a malicious accusation.

the police have a huge workload so yes, things get missed or can take time.

You need a paper trail.

Sometimes reporting to the police isn't about involving the police. Someone behaving to this extreme will be classed as in crisis. Because you put in a police report it will help them get access to support they otherwise may struggle to access.

It also means you have protected yourself.

You are now making excuses not to intervene. This means the problem just festers.

Something has to change. The police want to have good clear up rates. This has a clear outcome - it's unlikely to go to prosecution but it will look good for their figures. So they will try and do something.

Stop making excuses and being the grown up and do something.

Some have been very supportive, think it’s awful and they deserve to go to prison.

the rest are the ones closer anyway to the suspect and have listened to their excuses. They don’t believe they did what they did, and even if they did it was only because x y and z excuse. I am the bad guy treating them like a criminal, and it’s all for my own gain. They don’t speak to me and frankly, no loss. They’ve shown who they are.

Please stop saying this OP.
You wouldn't say it about the NHS if you'd had a bad experience with a GP 'Well, that's that, won't be using that again'.

It's not just a smashed window, from the circs you've given it actually could amount to burglary (includes entering as a trespasser to cause damage), hard to prove but this is what you need to report and not downplay, although you're scuppered a bit as left it so long now so forensics/SOCO likely not useful now, and no photos of the damage within the house (was it permanent or just made a mess of inside?)
It may also be domestic related depending on your relationship with him.
Yes he would have a safeguarding refferal put in to adult social care but police can only section under the MHA if they're in a public place and at serious risk to others or themselves. So don't hand your hat on that and it isn't the polices job in this instance.
A smashed car is very different to this. Just call them and tell them what you've reported here.

If his family will be upset if you report their relative, would they be willing to pay for the repairs etc?

Your neighbour had him on ring doorbell footage causing damage. You should not have cleaned up, because that action is what prevents a prosecution, very silly. You are not protecting yourselves here at all. Stop listening to what other siblings say, they have no idea what actually happened. It's odd that you've jumped to arson as a risk, that's a big leap from damaging a window - why? What else from the story have you hidden here?

You've had good advice and are dismissing aspects of it for no good reason.

1. Report to police and say you have mental health concerns. Supply neighbour details for witness and evidence. Do not hide the extra information that have led you to suspect he would commit arson.
2. Security needs sorting out; get your own video doorbell, secure the back, etc.
3. For one broken window, the insurance claim won't be worth it. It's not clear how you came to the idea of £1000 for one window though, you should be able to get it fixed much cheaper. You might spend more if you decide to upgrade to double glazed with tempered glass, as it improves insulation as well as being harder to break.

How is this life changing?

This person made a choice to destroy your property. Call the police and make an insurance claim. Stop overthinking this.

This is your partner’s relative. It sounds like your partner is not offering to pay for the damage (has he offered?) so then report it and make an insurance claim. It will be helpful to have the report with the police in case the relative keeps doing this and you need a restraining order- evidence of a prior break in will be helpful then.

So report it then and by doing so you will be protecting yourselves, good luck x

Make a referral to social services or MH services, which will be taken more seriously coming from police than from you. In areas with stretched services, things escalating to the point there's police involvement is often the only way the unwell person can get any help.

It's not he-said-she-said. There's a witness with camera footage!

If they go to speak to him and he's behaving erratically in public, they can detain him under the MH act and take him to hospital for psychiatric assessment.

The siblings are happy to remain in denial because they aren't being targeted and they don't want to have to deal with this relation or his problems at all. The only way they can do that without feeling guilty is to tell themselves he's fine/it doesn't matter etc.

No one is going to get "done" for wasting time: do you really think this is the first time police have had to deal with a family member reporting criminal damage while also being very worried about causing that family member to get into trouble??? This happens all the the time! Police and their social outreach and victim support people are trained to help with these situations. They often have to deal with people who are reporting a crime but very scared or worried about what happens if the say who did it. Don't add to their worries like this - it's not kind, and it betrays the fact that you don't really know what you are talking about. Besides which, why would you want to be unkind in a situation like this??

I agree with this post. Restraining order is easy to obtain if someone is causing physical damage. And it's so easy to get video cameras etc these days for home security. Hell, you can even use a baby monitor.

You need the crime number to be able to get the insurance money. Just because you report the crime does not mean the police will do anything about it - in fact they probably won't if it was just vandalism.

Sounds like the person who did the damage needs help: by reporting the damage and your concerns about future damage (after all, you could repair all the damage and the person will just do this again - which is what an insurance company will be worried about too) you could be prompting social services or other care systems to actually take steps to give this person the help they need. There's never anything nice about someone being sectioned or treated if they don't wish to be treated, but it's far better to have them get that care before they do something that will harm themselves or someone else far worse than the damage they have already caused. You mentioned they smashed a window? That could have resulted in a horrific accident or harm to that person - a single cut in the wrong place and they would bleed out.

I would urge you to report the damage, take pictures of everything, get yourself some cheap video cameras so you can get video evidence next time if anything is needed, install a place either in your house to keep valuables, or keep very important ones in a safety deposit box in a bank, and report this behaviour to whichever social services/mental health etc etc would need to know about this so the person in question can get help before something worse happens.

Definitely report to the police. I would add up if it is worth making a claim in your home insurance. Making your home secure, windows and anything broken or stolen does tend to add up.
Depending on the size and how many windows he broke £1000 might not cover what you think it will cover.
Having a glazier replace just 1window could cost at least £2-300+
Check also that everything is still in place. I.e all jewellery or little things that are usually kept in a drawer or not on view are still there.

Reporting to the police is flagging a potentially dangerous person who could choose the wrong house or wrong person next time and either he will hurt someone or someone will hurt him.

Never. Ever. Lie. To your insurance provider.

What do you think would of happened to you had you been home and answered the door.

This is concerning for your safety and you should not underestimate the impact this could have on you. Please report to the police and then tell the truth to your insurance co.

& what if he goes on & hurts someone? You need to report him.

You just port the mortgage to the new property.

You need to report it.
And ring your insurance number with the crime reference number.

Report to police. How do you know this relative might not do something like this again? They might speak to this relative and they might get clinical support.

So you've had enough, you've tried to help this person, your DP will back you, but you are reluctant to report this person because your DPs relatives won't like it? That's not good reasoning, you know that don't you?
Your main concerns here are:
Your safety and wellbeing; the welfare of the person who smashed up your home; your DPs feelings. His judgy relatives shouldn't even be on your radar.

Well, you could for example take out a restraining order against him. Then if he were to breach this, that would trigger police action next time. For that you would have to take on your own solicitor and get their advice. Again - might be harder to get in the absence of evidence of what he’s just done to your house and belongings. Could you install some cheap CCTV cameras of your own - Eufy doorbells don’t require a subscription and their cameras are also good value. It’s Amazon prime day on 8 July and their electronics are often heavily discounted. If you had footage of any further incidents that would help get a restraining order against him in place.