Help me feel ok about this will

A £50k inheritance from an aunt is a wonderful windfall! Appreciate it. Your husband could have been left nothing.

You are absolutely horrible 🤮
it doesn’t surprise me you would rather help strangers than family!
Charities have thousands upon thousands of people giving, how much of your pound makes it to that charity????

I have no children and am single, and will remain that way. I’m also a very high earner and am mortgage-free on a house worth over €500k.
I have lots of ‘niblings’ and I know some of my siblings fully expect my estate to be divided among them - one of my sisters has actually said to me that she thinks I should already be giving them 3k annually that would be tax free! In the course of a conversation about a small local charity that’s very close to my heart, I mentioned I’d left them a large donation in my will… my sister looked across at her son with arched eyebrows and a knowing look, as much as to say ‘she’s leaving it to charity, not you!!’

The sense of entitlement people have about inheritance is repulsive to me. I will be very wary of the avaricious crew who start circling around me when I’m older.

@TerryWogansWig at least she didn't;t leave a percentage to the charities which leaves beneficiaries open to horrible bullying from charities.
@Loubylie my nephews are set to inherit entirely from DH and I. The elder is one of our executors and the younger (9) has his Mum as the other executor.

I don’t think most people would. Many people feel quite strongly about it being passed down to the next generation of their family. If that means a niece or nephew, or skipping a generation and going to grandchildren then they feel better about it. We all know that some charities are more like corporate entities these days and that money doesn’t always go in the right pot.

I can understand how this must hurt you

why is she doing this ?

yes no one is entitled to money but most would leave to their children and in time you would help your son and leave anything to them

Another thread where I realise it might be a good thing that there is no chance that I will inherit anything.

She's not even your Aunt! You don't need to get past anything.

Look at the positive: that money will do so much good for community.

@TerryWogansWig

We knew what she had because DH looked after her finances.

This part of your last update jumped out at me - did your DH do anything for the Aunt besides keep a track of his “inheritance” help her look after her finances?

I might be going against the grain here - but I would be pissed.

I used to work at a law firm and a couple I knew wrote a will leaving a small amount of assets to their child, zero assets to their other children (stepchildren of the youngest child’s mother) and the rest to charity. The charity’s were going to get a LOT of money.

The aforementioned couple weren’t even old. I did notice quite a few old people left a lot of their assets to charities. We would have to sometimes contact the charities to get specific wording so that probate wouldn’t be complicated.

I think old people are atoning for their sins and leaving their money to charity is a way to do that. I did find it weird when old women - would leave entire estates to charity. Often it was money they inherited when their husband passed and I feel they didn’t know the value of what they were giving away and wondered if their husbands were alive (who had actually earned the money) they might be more inclined to give the money to their relatives.

I do think there are predatory charities who target old people to get themselves written into their wills. If I approached an old person with the intention of getting written into the will it would be considered sociopathic - but when charities do this it is somehow ok.

Anyway, it sucks. But there’s not much you can do about it. I don’t have a wealthy aunt or uncle who has never had children - so I’m not expecting any money from anywhere. But I do know people who have received inheritances when they were young and it has enabled them to buy property. A friend received money from her grandfather’s estate and bought an apartment when she was fresh out of university and rented the rooms out. Having that security meant she could backpack across Asia for 18 months and not have to worry about not having a place to live when she finally came home.

It’s unfair for those of us who get nothing. But there’s not much we can do about it.

I’d be miffed too- charity begins at home!!

All the jealous little souls on this page 😖

family first!!!

charities are businesses!!! how much of your pound goes Direct to the cause you chose? every penny of the pound goes to your family!

go check your selves!

Why? Don’t you love her and want to do everything in your power to make her life easier?

This!

Lucky niece 🙄

Think of it this way, if you didn't have any idea about her having over 1 million in the bank, you'd be over the moon with £50 grand yes? You should be delighted, you've been given 50 grand for doing nothing!

Exactly! People are being ridiculous. You’re not telling me every person having a go wouldn't be disappointed by this outcome?! Come on get real!

Sorry OP I can understand exactly how you feel.

DH and I plan to do exactly the same. We have 8 nieces and nephews between us and will leave them all a small amount, but the bulk will go to charity. My MIL found out and got the absolute shits with us and told us we were terrible people for doing something so awful. We told her it’s our money and we will do what we please with it. The nieces and nephews on DH’s side barely interact with us. We are definitely closer to the ones on my side but they have parents who will provide for them all well. We would rather try and help kids who haven’t got the privileges our lot do.

I’d be pissed off as well OP.

£800k to charity when it could have made a life changing difference to my blood relatives? No way. Particularly when it appears that your DH did
stuff to help her.

£50k is actually not a lot if you’re trying to get more than one kid on the property ladder.

100% this!

You are being completely unreasonable, entitled and ungrateful. Imagine receiving £50k and "feeling dejected" about it!

You shouldnt have been 'expecting' anything and you dont get a say in how the aunt "should" have dealt with her finances. For a start it's not even your relative! Posting online to ask people for help to get past it is just bizarre

I’m guessing your attitude did not endear you to her OP

Coming from a background of having to pay for my dad's funeral as step mother claimed they had no money, and experiencing a distant cousin who died unexpectedly with no will and their money going to a relative slightly less distant than us rather than the well deserving charities they would have wanted their money to go to had they had a will. I struggle to find an answer to how you could be helped to be ok with this will. Perhaps by celebrating the life of someone who has died and was kind enough to leave your husband a lot of money.

Charities get very aggressive about money left to them in wills and can be absolutely ruthless. I wouldn't mess around or try to fight them about it unless you have rock solid legal advice.

and the money donated to the charities will go into a nice fat salary package (in ireland anyway) she was a clown, but maybe ye did not do enough for her, in her own eyes.